No I was not thinking you had been on illicit substances any more than I had been.
A couple of things though, the first being that others knowing about you is not always bad. I have found with friends, family and work since I became more open I've not had the same fear of discovery wearng me down and leaving me stressing over what they did or did not know.
I realise that is just me, others may not feel the same.
Anything you say here in the Forum is buried so far down on mounds of posts it would be highly surprising if anyone could discover your identity though here - plus we take great pains to ensure nobody does divulge identifying information anyway.
The other thing is maths - which might sound like a bit of a stretch. I never did well at the schools I went to in maths, just scraped by. Then I had a teacher who made it seem logical and simple to me (he also threw chalk-board dusters at pupils who did not appear attentive).
I went on in later life to teach aspects of that subject (but was not allowed to throw dusters, times change).
Basically he 'clicked' with me, and I truly believe that a very large percentage of the effectiveness of therapy can be put down to the relationship between client and professional. It can happen.
Medications, well I've had to try an awful lot over the years and finally hit upon one that worked pretty well, with little in the way of side effects. Not perfect but a big help.
As for demons, when recovering from a stint in hospital I read a series of adolescents' fantasy books where the demons were quite friendly, one was called Beauregard if I remember. Threatening can sometimes flip over to benign.
So please don't give up hope.
Croix
