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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Live_in_the_Now Marriage Anxiety
  • replies: 3

This is my first time posting on an online forum, I need support. The wedding is around the corner and for the last 2 months I've felt very high anxiety levels. To give you some background, myself and my fiance have had a amazing relationship for the... View more

This is my first time posting on an online forum, I need support. The wedding is around the corner and for the last 2 months I've felt very high anxiety levels. To give you some background, myself and my fiance have had a amazing relationship for the last 3 years, I understand him and who he is in a special way and he understands me the same. When we first met, it was like I was swept off my feet, I was never looking for a relationship but there he was, it was like he was sent to me for a reason, like it was fate. As the relationship continued, I learnt his flaws and he learnt mine, I get angry, I can be patronising, and can get closed off sometimes, he can be sensitive, emotional and rude. However we both recognise our flaws and are working on being better people to others and to each other. Like any relationship, we have been through ups and downs, however I've never seen any 'red flags' in 3 years. We've travelled, laughed, cried, felt the good times and the bad together, we are best friends. I believe what I'm going through right now is something like marriage anxiety. I've felt extremely overwhelmed by the entire wedding planning process and thought of being married. I recognise that my mind is playing tricks, I catastrophise, I think extremely negative thoughts like "what if I run away" "what if I dont love him", "what if our marriage fails", and this snow ball effect has caused severe panic attacks. I feel like I lost trust in myself, I lost trust in my judgement, I feel like am so nervous about the change that is going to happen in my life, that I am avoiding it at all costs. I feel like because I lost trust in myself, I lost trust in my partner because I lost trust in myself. I feel the 'fight or flight' response in my blood and I feel like running - but I dont know where I am running or who I am running with or what the running is going to fix. I feel so alone yet I have so much support around me, my fiance is dealing with this situation so well. I feel so numb to the point where I am creating terrible stories in my mind just to feel something. I tell myself "ok go, run, cancel the entire wedding" or " you never really loved him" or "you're going to get a divorce", but I feel nothing .... I feel so numb that I dont even know what I feel!! I am so desperate to feel something, anything!! I am feeling completely confused, as what I am feeling is the complete opposite of the evidence of my relationship for the last 3 years. Help

Lalunia82 I’m back after 7 month with worst anxiety and insomnia ever
  • replies: 3

Hi, Last time I post on this forum was July 2017 and I was feeling awful, though I will never battle my anxiety. But I did and was having a happy life till about 4 weeks ago when I started having “MS” king of symptoms like numbness in one side of fac... View more

Hi, Last time I post on this forum was July 2017 and I was feeling awful, though I will never battle my anxiety. But I did and was having a happy life till about 4 weeks ago when I started having “MS” king of symptoms like numbness in one side of face and dizziness. I started searching the answers on google and worrying that I have various illnesses like brain tumor, MS, stroke. I got myself panicked and ended up at the hostpital emergency. All tests, CT scan, MRI, blood tests came back normal and my neurologist said that I’m very healthy person. The symptoms I had are anxiety related. I was shocked to hear that all of that was an anxiety as before this happened I was not anxious at all. But once this simptomps developed and I started believing I have a serious illness, my anxiety kicked in. Even after the neurologist’s assurance I’m healthy, I was still feeling anxious. I was crying every day, going to work was a struggle because I was aftraid to burts in tears in front of everyone. I started taking to myslef loudly :” I’m healthy, and this is just my brain who is trying to trick me”. Started taking some sleeping tablets and after having a decent night sleep, my anxiety level started reducing. I also started session with psychologist who was telling me that the anxiety is like a wave, it does not last forever. It will be bad for some time but it will go away eventually. And that happened. Last week I was getting really better, my physical symptoms of dizziness and numbness disappear and I thought anxiety is gone. Then it came back again on Monday this week. Since Monday I practically don’t sleep. Yesterday I was awake the whole night. The next morning I was hardly able to walk, brushing my teeth was a challenge. Today I took strong sleeping tables and was able to sleep 5h but anxiety is teeeible. I lost 5kg in last 4 weeks, I cannot swallow the food, I have terrible diarrhea and worrying horribly of losing my job. I have house settlement in 3 month in June 2018 and I cannot afford losing my job! Otherwise I won’t get loan and lose deposit. I’m getting married in poland (where I come from) in August and have so much financial commitments. What do I do with my job? I’m to weak to work and everyone start noticing at work that I struggle. The session with psychologist don’t help much. I do everytjjng: yoga, meditation and nothing helps. I’m worrying that I’m going to die!! please tell me how everyone who experience anxiety is able to work?

Renaexoxo Stuck in a loop
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone! I have never posted on here before but i have been looking for a bit of help in this particular area for a while, be gentle. These last few months have been the hardest for me anxiety and depression wise. And for the first time im livin... View more

Hey everyone! I have never posted on here before but i have been looking for a bit of help in this particular area for a while, be gentle. These last few months have been the hardest for me anxiety and depression wise. And for the first time im living by myself. I thought that having my own place would make me feel better, but it has just paved the way to unhealthy coping techniques cause no one is around to judge me. The only thing that gives me instant relief from the pain is alcohol. Im drinking alot now, every night because it makes me feel temporarily okay. That is until im im a night club environment, everything just becomes a bit too much and the alcohol makes that worse. So thats where the recreational drugs come into play. Which obviously makes me feel great for a couple of hours but then you crash pretty hard. My come downs can last for days and its is just constant, soal shredding anxiety. And the only way for me to relieve that is to drink. Im drinking to counteract the negative effects of drugs, drugs that i took when the alcohol wasnt enough. Im just stuck in the loop and i dont know how to get out. Has anyone else struggled with some form of addiction as a result of their anxiety?

ruhroh So apparently i'm not alone in this
  • replies: 3

Hello, I've just joined the online community after reading one member's post about anxiety at uni which I related too A LOT. Up until now I've been telling myself that I don't have a legitimate excuse to be doing so badly in my uni studies - after al... View more

Hello, I've just joined the online community after reading one member's post about anxiety at uni which I related too A LOT. Up until now I've been telling myself that I don't have a legitimate excuse to be doing so badly in my uni studies - after all everyone has stuff they deal with and they still manage to get good grades and hold down a job and do all that independent life stuff - why do I find it so difficult? well my answer for that was because I must be an inept failure. I've been feeling like i don't have a right to be at uni because I'm not even doing difficult units yet I've already failed 2 in the past year and am constantly having to ask for special consideration and extensions on assignments, and even with those I still just scrape a P if I'm lucky. I'm in recovery from an eating disorder at the moment, and I hear all the time that I must have perfectionism, right? Well I given my situation I highly doubt that - and I know others with an ED who are at uni and they actually do have perfectionism in they will start assignments a month early and cry if they get below a HD. I just don't fit in this stereotype and it makes me feel invalidated like I "don't properly" have an ED because I don't feel that I fit a variety of the stereotypic characteristics, but if i say this i feel others will just pigeonhole me as 'in denial' or as if i can't see myself realistically - which btw i can - it's just the stigma around having an ED means anything i say about myself doesn't really get acknowledged as truth, sometimes it's known as 'my truth' but never just 'the truth', yet more often than not those two things are the same. Anyways enough of that tangent .... Right now I have an assignment that was due in 3 days ago which I still haven't finished, got granted an extension for, but now am putting it off even more cause I already feel like I've failed or should be failed because I'm just screwing things up for myself so I don't deserve anyones sympathy. I'm sorry for going on such a rant, but yea. I know I haven't really asked for advice (kinda because i feel like i'd fail at following the advise anyways so why ask for it) but it I think it would be good to know if anyone else has had/is having a similar experience of life and what you did to manage everything, cause right now i feel like my life is in shambles and i don't know where to begin. Probs by finishing this essay, ay.

YellowPoppy Debilitating anxiety about death
  • replies: 2

Hi friends, My anxiety has latched on to death and its unrelenting. I always thought that when I go I'd be surrounded by loved ones, especially my mum but I'm the youngest in my family and I don't want kids. So now I'm terrified of dying alone and th... View more

Hi friends, My anxiety has latched on to death and its unrelenting. I always thought that when I go I'd be surrounded by loved ones, especially my mum but I'm the youngest in my family and I don't want kids. So now I'm terrified of dying alone and that I won't which is all mixed up with losing my mum. See, she's been one of my main support systems and shes been helping me through all of this but what happens if she goes and I'm still like this. I'm really scared. And of course it's more extensive than that because I end up spiralling and I think of other things, like I'm not close with my brothers and I don't know how to start communicating with them. Normally when I get anxious I can tell myseld I'm being silly and I can talk myself down, but in this case my fear is a real possibility. And everytime mum helps me through an episode I struggle not think about what would happen if wasn't here. I rarely feel anything except anxiety, my stomach is constantly tense, I feel confused about my relationship with my partner because of it. I don't feel comfort when we hug or when he reaches out, I don't really feel live for him right now and I know that's cause I'm So wrapped up in my fear but it makes everything ten times harder. Im paralysed from fear of this. And I don't understand how no one else is. YellowPoppy

OllieB How do you tell people?
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I have been attending counselling through uni and I have now been told that I should visit a GP and obtain a mental health care plan from them and discuss various options going foward. So basically I feel like this just got real, like before ... View more

Hi all, I have been attending counselling through uni and I have now been told that I should visit a GP and obtain a mental health care plan from them and discuss various options going foward. So basically I feel like this just got real, like before I could pretend that what I was feeling was everyday stress- I knew it wasn't but accepting that has been hard. I also recently went to the doctors to ensure there wasn't any physiological cause for my anxiety and felt like I was being judged the whole time and honestly didn't find the whole experience very helpful- so going back even to a different place is causing me a whole heap of stress. Is there any advice on how to approach this, even just what to expect going forward. I am in a whole new place and new things and me do not mix very well. I feel like I'm in danger of burying my head in the sand and ignoring this problem, even though I'm at the stage where I Think that will no longer work. I think my main concern is people finding out I don't share my feelings very often and hide panic attacks when they occur- how do I tell people and when I do how do I get Over the constant feeling of judgement?

Dana123 Anxiety or just not attracted to the person?
  • replies: 4

Hi, So I've recently started a relationship with a guy. He's soo sweet and has been very supportive about feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I was diagnosed with GAD a few years ago and for the most part, it has been well managed with medication and th... View more

Hi, So I've recently started a relationship with a guy. He's soo sweet and has been very supportive about feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I was diagnosed with GAD a few years ago and for the most part, it has been well managed with medication and therapy. Around the same time the relationship started, I started my first full-time job after graduating from uni. My anxiety has been at an all-time high. I've somehow convinced myself that I can't do both at the same time (full-time work + relationship). It's gotten to the point where sometimes it feels like a chore to hang out with this guy, I get nervous and almost need to plan for our dates mentally. I didn't feel like that in the first week or two. I feel that my anxiety is stopping me from enjoying my time with this guy. But I'm also confused because I feel that if I liked the guy a lot, I shouldn't feel like this? Or is this a normal thing to feel when you have anxiety? I've resumed therapy with my psych, but wondering if anyone has ever experienced something similar? Would love your insights Thanks

Guest_2574 Scared feeling?
  • replies: 11

I frequently get this weird scared feeling when i try to go to sleep. Its hard to explain but its like it feels like ive got evil eyes watching me. I also get the feeling during the day sometimes. I suffer from cptsd,major depression,ocd,gad. I dont ... View more

I frequently get this weird scared feeling when i try to go to sleep. Its hard to explain but its like it feels like ive got evil eyes watching me. I also get the feeling during the day sometimes. I suffer from cptsd,major depression,ocd,gad. I dont know if its related. Its only started in the last few yrs.

Rhiirhii Dealing with Anxious Father
  • replies: 1

I am a 30 year old single mother who has taken in a parent after a separation as he does not earn enough income to be independent and he has trouble doing basic things due to his anxiety. (Eg. Pay a bill, talk to centrelink) a lot has gone wrong for ... View more

I am a 30 year old single mother who has taken in a parent after a separation as he does not earn enough income to be independent and he has trouble doing basic things due to his anxiety. (Eg. Pay a bill, talk to centrelink) a lot has gone wrong for us, at the top being him losing all his identity documents and getting them all back is a 6 month + process due to being a refugee. I’m not only supporting him financially as of next week on my benefits, I’m trying to be his rock of rationality and it’s taking a toll. i have a 2 month old and he isn’t able to help me for long because his anxiety takes over and I am starting to feel a little resentful because I do so much and I’m burning out, but I also understand it’s his anxiety and I feel so guilty. what can I do to help my own mental health, but his as well? Thank you x

Sazzle29 New job anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hi, this is my first post so unsure exactly where to start! I've recently (6 weeks ago) started a new job which is more senior & more money than I’ve had before & im completely overwhelmed & suffering with really bad anxiety & feeling totally incapab... View more

Hi, this is my first post so unsure exactly where to start! I've recently (6 weeks ago) started a new job which is more senior & more money than I’ve had before & im completely overwhelmed & suffering with really bad anxiety & feeling totally incapable! feels like it’s too much of a big step up there has been no training and no time to settle in as I’ve got so many tasks to complete, I’ve got little to no support from my boss & feel with such a senior role I’m expected to just get on with it which is making me anxious about failing! I’m trying to meditate when I can which isn’t very often as the anxiety makes me so agitated! Ive seen my gp & had 1 appointment with a psychologist which helped at the time but can’t seem to control my anxiety! friends have advised me to either speak up at work or leave but too anxious to do either! Any suggestions? reading other posts have helped me realise so many other people are in similar situations! just want it to stop