Not leaving the house, day 5

[245AM]

I know some of you have probably spent even longer than 5 consecutive days living from your bed/not leaving your house... this just feels like the worst one for me in years of suffering from anxiety and depression.
-I'm avoiding life around me.. shutting out my housemate and any human contact
-crying every day
-suffering horrible physical symptoms like rapid heart rate, neck and shoulder pain, headaches, tingling hands and feet, chest pain

I feel as though I've come to the realisation that no one is really there for anyone. Everyone is depressed an anxious, and yeah, they kind of understand it but no one is actually going to do anything for me and I need to fix all alone. I can't just wait for someone to knock on my door because they won't. I don't see a way out of it, not completely.

[Summer Rose]

Hi 245AM

Welcome to bb. I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time. It was really brave of you to reach out here and I'm glad you did.

Sometimes it really is lonely and isolating to be unwell. And, even with the best of professional help, you still have to do the hard work. It's tiring, I know. I'm so sorry that you have suffered so much for years.

I would like to offer a hand of friendship and just be with you right now. I really want you to know that you are not alone. I want to remind you that this will pass.

If you feel you need to talk with someone, you can call the bb support line on 1300 22 4636.

I'm wondering if there's anything you might feel up to doing to bring you some comfort now. Maybe something to get you moving, just a bit Perhaps a bath or shower. Listen to some music. Watch a movie. Have a cup of tea. Work on a puzzle. Or just look out your window at the night sky.

I'm also wondering if you could try to see your GP tomorrow? Or if you have a regular psych and could touch base? I know it's hard but it would likely be helpful right now.

If you want to share some more about how you're feeling, I'm here.

Kind thoughts to you

[245AM]

Hi Summer Rose,

Thank you so much for taking time to reply. i couldn't even get through reading it without tearing up again. It feels strange to even be expressing anything on this forum. I did make an appointment with my GP earlier today because I feel like I don't know what else to do... I'm hoping this time i can make a solid plan that I stick to.

It definitely is isolating, I'm so sick of it and just want it to be better. I know there are people around I can probably speak to but i dont even want to and im actively rude to them so they will just stop trying. Such a bad cycle.

[BrendenFlea]

Hi 245AM,

Welcome to the forums! First off, I would like to say you are very brave for seeking help. This is the first step to recovery, and the first step is always the hardest. For me personally, my depression and anxiety has it's days. Some days I feel completely normal, and others days I just don't want to do anything. I feel extremely emotional for no apparent reason. And the feeling of guilt from procrastinating all day. That I've achieved nothing within the time that I have been awake, can be debilitating. It's good to see that you will be consulting with a GP. They can refer you a mental health professional. Do you have any family or friends you can contact? Isolation is not healthy at all, and will only exacerbate the problem. If not, I highly suggest speaking with a therapist or psychologist. I know it may feel weird speaking to a stranger about your personal life and expressing your thoughts. But trust me. Having someone to talk to is like a weight being lifted off your shoulders. Therapists wont have all the answers you are looking for. But they can suggest techniques that will improve your lifestyle. There will be times where you feel like your not making any progress. That is the anxiety that is speaking. Don't listen to it! Other suggestions I would like to make is, have you tried meditation, reading books, or listening to music? Maybe even stepping outside your back yard to get some fresh air? Keeping your mind occupied can help reduce the anxiety and depression. If you need help, we are all here for you.

Be strong, you'll get through this!

[Summer Rose]

Hi 254AM

I'm really pleased that you will be seeing your GP tomorrow. It might pay to call the office in the morning and see if you can make it a double appointment, so you are not rushed (unless you've already done that).

Have you ever had a mental health care plan in the past? If not, ask the GP for one (along with a referral to an appropriate specialist) or update your current plan. This plan will enable you to access Medicare rebates for up to six sessions with a psychologist.

I understand the cycle you're in and it's okay. When you're ready you can explain the situation to those people in your life that you want to let in. The main thing right now is to get the right treatment because it can get better.

I know it may feel a bit strange sharing with strangers here on the forum but this is an unique community. We all get it.

There are many people here with lived experience that can support and help you. I am here because I have cared for a child with anxiety and OCD for the past seven years. I am not a doctor or even an expert, just a mum who has learned a lot through my experience and values the support this community provides.

I know your pain but I also know it's possible to recover. You are taking some really good steps in the right direction and I want you to just hang in there.

If you feel up to it, let us know how you go with the GP.

Kind thoughts to you

[245AM]

Thank you for your support, Summer Rose & BrendenFlea.

It really is so easy to feel alone in this (even though deep down I know I'm not).. the thoughts just spiral.

I'm sure taking care of someone with anxiety and OCD is really difficult and trying at times. I've often felt like a burden on those around me but I'm sure they really don't see me that way...

Thankfully my GP is so great and she let me talk for about 40minutes and we worked out a plan for me to get myself together. We have another appointment a month from now to check in on everything and to make sure I'm keeping on track. Today I actually feel like going back outside and I'm really grateful for the help from her and this forum.

Hope you're all having a positive as well. One day at a time.

[Summer Rose]

Hi 245AM

Thank you for sharing your positive news. You have made my day!

Your GP sounds like a gem and it must be a great relief to have a plan in place. As you said, one step at a time.

Yes, caring for my girl can at times be tiring, but mostly I just feel so honoured and humbled to be her mother. My daughter is the bravest person I know and everyday she makes me proud. The hard times have brought us closer together, making the good times are as sweet as can be.

You are not a burden. You are simply unwell at present. Never forget that while people do unfortunately fall ill, they also get better.

Kind thoughts to you