No inbetween

[Claremary]

Hi

So I have been dealing with anxiety and depression since I can remember. It started out with obsessing over how I looked and acted due to bullying, then progressed into workplace anxiety, general anxiety and social anxiety as I got older. I am 24 now.

I am unsure what to do, I don't have the financial ability to see a psychologist, and I know from past experience therapists don't help.

So the gist of it is that on meds or off meds, about every 3-6 months I have a breakdown. It's like all the anger and anxiety and stress accumulates until I can't handle it anymore. The stress/anxiety comes from over thinking everything.

I have a lot of techniques to deal with it all. Over the past 6 months I have incorporated exercise and a healthier diet to help improve my mental health, but then I started to stress and obsess over that too. Thoughts like; I'm eating too much, I'm not eating enough, I had too many biscuits, I didn't run or walk far enough. I ran or walked too far, I'm going to get fat like my mum, I can't accept food that has been bought for me.

Also note that I have quit smoking over this period too.

I'm not sure why but it's either I'm stressing over everything and get angry at everyone and every single noise, or I'm having a peaceful day. (The peaceful days are very rare).

There is no inbetween.
I feel stuck. I can't get hell from family because they can't afford to help, but the government won't help me because I'm not defined as someone who needs help.
I am on Job seeker at the current moment, but they will eventually push me i nto a job and the cycle will start again.

I just want to get better, and not have to turn back to medication. But there is no help for me.

[composedmind]

Hey Claremary,

If help was available- what would you want help with?

Tyler

[White_Rose]

Dear Claremary and a wave to Tyler

A warm welcome to both of you. It's good you have found your way to beyoneblue which is a safe and caring place to talk about your difficulties. If you have read any of the other threads on the Anxiety forum or on the Depression forum you will see that others struggle with the same difficulties. While that may not appear helpful I find it is reassuring to know I am not the only one who thinks and feels like this.

Many people are afraid of taking medication for anxiety/depression. I have never been a fan. However I was prescribed SSRI meds which always had horrible side effects. Not much good to me while I was fighting these. However my GP one day persuaded me to try an antidepressant (AD) from a different group of meds. It was amazing. Such a feeling of well being.

ADs do not cure anxiety and depression. They are taken to help the body chemistry work properly so that you can work on your difficulties. I do think you cannot concentrate when your body feels bad. I have chemo at the moment and I know it causes me to lose my concentrate quite easily and also is not good for my memory. Some of the ADs were the same. Some had uncomfortable side effects. It is hard to believe meds are helping when they cause such discomfort. This is the time to find something that does not cause such difficulties.

There are many ADs on the market and it is so often the case that you need to trial them to find one that helps. Your GP can tell you more about this than me. I can tell you that in the end I found something that allowed me to work on my depression and its causes without being overwhelmed by the AD. That was a great day.

Your GP can refer you to a therapist that will bulk bill you while you are looking for work. Please keep in mind that therapy and meds are two different but complementary ways to help you. I do urge to try again and to start by having a very open conversation with your referring GP.

I hope you will continue to post here as others can tell you about their experiences.

Mary

Can you return to your GP and have a good discussion about ADs? Talk about side effects and whether you feel different. Bear in mind that these ADs will not solve your problems, just help your body to be as receptive as possible.