New job

[Haitchy]

Hi Folks. New to this forum.

I have suffered from anxiety for a few years on and off now. It came about after an abusive relationship and more recently my fathers sudden death.

I left a long term job recently - it was an unhealthy environment for myself and many others but that being said, I was comfortable with the work and in my comfort zone. Importantly, I was really good at my job.

Ive just started a new job. The environment is quite high pressure and I'm struggling a bit with learning new and very unfriendly software.

I've had a little training but I'm there alone effectively and trying to do my best.

Im finding that I'm getting quite frazzled when it's busy and I've made a couple of mistakes.

I'm trying to tell myself that this is normal but the brain is saying I'm useless and the people around me will think I am too.

ive actually started to dread going there - it starts when I wake up on the days I'm working with 'that feeling' in my chest.

Any advice on how to deal with this much appreciated.

[Nicole73]

Hi Bella,

Dogs are very clever...they definitely know when we are down and need to add a bit of extra love and smooches.

Well, I haven't heard back from that job I had the interview with. They said they would call if I was successful or email if I wasn't and I haven't received either. So, I mustn't have been successful. But that's ok. I sort of have another job..hahaha...sort of...sounds weird hey. We were out with friends on the weekend and I ran into someone who was working at a cafe. We both recognised each other from over the years but aren't friends as such. Anyhow, during small talk I mentioned I was looking for work and she knew someone who 'might' be looking for someone in an office. Anyhow, I put my big girls pants on and contacted them. I had an informal interview/chat yesterday and I'm turning up tomorrow to sit with the lady who is leaving and see what the job is all about etc. So, from that moment yesterday, my stomach has been in knots and my head is already thinking all the bad things like...'why is she leaving' etc etc etc. It's very obvious what I need to work on the most with my anxiety...hahaha...and that is to stop automatically concentrating and worrying on the 'possible' bad 'what ifs' and start looking at the 'definite' 'good' stuff. Well, I don't think I will have that under control by tomorrow but I'm trying. lol

What was the outcome with your interview? Did you get the job or did you at least get contacted afterwards with a 'yay or a nay'?

[Nervybella]

Hey Nicole

nice to hear from you again!

Sorry you never heard back about that job. I know it’s the way of the world, but I just can’t stand the fact that people don’t get back to you. It’s an awful feeling. And not helpful for those of us that are battling mental health issues...

I heard back from my interview... it went to someone with more experience. At least I heard from them. Just gotta keep chugging along and applying!

Its a bit disheartening, but what can you do?!

I think that sounds exciting about your maybe new job! Let us know how you get on. Sounds like a nice arrangement f you can sit in on the job first without fully committing to it?

I get where you’re coming from with the immediate knots in your tummy and thoughts jumping to the worst conclusions already - I’m still yet to work out how to stop or manage that stuff yet haha

[Nicole73]

Hi Bella,

Sorry to hear that you didn't get that job, but how good that you have another interview under your belt for experience (easy for me to say as I don't like interviews, but I also know that the more I do the better I get). And you weren't 100% sure of the job, so maybe this was good as something better is just around the corner.

So, I had to my sitting in with the other lady today at the 'possible' new job. It was quite overwhelming as there is a lot to know, but all in all, things went well...except for one thing. The lady who is leaving, one part of her job is to travel to a few different places once or twice a year doing presentations on their business. I get that many people would love this, but I honestly can't. This sort of thing is what I hate most is life and where a very big part of my anxiety lies. I don't think even the best counselling in the world would allow me to do that. I'm a full home body and don't like going away by myself, let alone for work and driving myself for hours to new places, or catching planes. Anyhow, I was 100% up front and said I like the job but I can't do that aspect of it. I told them to have a think tomorrow and I will call them on Friday to see if they still want me to work for them, and it also gives me the opportunity to have a think if I would like the job too. I hope they say yes and get someone else to do that part because although there is a lot to learn, the hours, the amount of days per week etc are just perfect for what I'm after.

Anything in the pipeline for you? Have you found anything else to apply for yet? And most importantly, how is your puppy going?

[CoraC]

Yes, your instincts were correct. I hope you are feeling relatively ok about it all. Sometimes these things move really quickly although I did have a situation where we knew our jobs were being made redundant it then still had to work three months more until the payout came.

Hope the situation is ok for you as can be.

[Nervybella]

Hey Nicole

ive been applying for several jobs every day. It’s getting exhausting. I have an interview next week and already my anxiety is picking up again... I just get so annoyed with myself about the whole thing

How did you go with the job? Have you heard anything from the company?

My dog is good, busting to get out for a walk but it’s been too cold haha

[Nicole73]

Hi Bella,

Oh great that you have another interview. Good luck with that one and let me know how you go. Applying for jobs is very exhausting. In fact I only just said that to my husband last night. I get very annoyed and frustrated as well. No matter how much I try to be positive and brave and confident about it all, my body just takes over and I’m physically nervous in my stomach, lose my appetite and my head is all over the place and I can’t even seem to concentrate on small things. I think I might need to bite the bullet and try and get some professional help again to help stop all this as it’s not healthy.

Oh, I got offered that job and I accepted it. I start on Monday. Obviously I’m pleased I have it, but I’m sure you will understand that I’m nervous about starting...lol...oh the viscous circle. Bring on a few months time so I’m confident in the job and know what I’m doing do I can finally start to relax some more. What I’m most looking forward to is finally getting some sort of routine back in life. And it will be nice not looking for jobs every day. So, fingers crossed your interview goes well next week and you can do the same thing.

Wishing you a great weekend.

[paddyanne]

Hi Haitchy. My heart really goes out to you. You're trying so hard to 'fit in'. New kid on the block, getting used to the environment, plus your new work colleagues have all formed their friendships. So many new things, scary. I'm not sure of your age, but can I inquire if you took this job because you felt pressured. You mentioned leaving an abusive relationship, your father's sudden death, previous position made uncomfortable by the surrounding environment. All of the above would've made your anxiety worse. Taking up a new position anywhere, no matter your age is scary, if there is outside influences telling you, find work, this adds to the anxiety. I remember my own abusive mother forcing me to get work, no matter what sort. She wasn't trying to encourage me, she basically forced me, telling me I was too lazy etc. If you are enjoying the work, but the environment isn't good, you have only halved the battle. The job you now have doesn't sound 'you'. I suggest maybe think about resigning and look at doing something that you enjoy rather than persisting and becoming more unhappy and pressured. Maybe look at doing a course in something completely different, or doing some sort of volunteer work till you feel more confident. Computer's are known to have 'minds of their own' and will frequently seize or delete or worse change wording. The ones at work often change addresses or clients details because the details we feed it, aren't how the computer analyses it - frustrating for driver's and staff, not to mention clients who constantly blame workers and drivers. I realize you have talents and I'm not trying to take away any of these, all I'm suggesting is take a break and think about what you would like to try. My colleagues are very supportive towards each other, so when the computer's let us down (frequent) we work around it together. Team work is important and if you don't feel part of the team, that's more anxiety. Trying to be someone you're not, freezing up when under pressure, doesn't help.

[Nervybella]

Hey Nicole

Hope you’re first day goes ok! Let us know

i just feel like I’ve lost all my confidence. I just sit and home all day and be sad. I hate it. I have no motivation and feel like every day that goes by my life gets worse.

I know this is dramatic and my anxiety talking but it’s really how I am feeling lately

I have a job interview tomorrow and already I feel so down about it... why?! It could be great! I just can’t deal with this bloody feeling and anxiety anymore 😞

[Nicole73]

Hi Bella,

I've just finished my first day and although my head is spinning, my stomach is nervous, my mind is overwhelmed and I'm self doubting myself, I'm not crying and that is a good sign...hahaha. I'm going back on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday (Wednesday is sitting with a person learning and those last two days by myself...argh!).

I am so sorry to hear that things are not going so good your end. I wish I could wave a magic wand and help make you feel better. I hope you make it to your interview tomorrow. Just remember, even if you do well and get offered the job at the end, you can still say no if you don't feel the job is a good match. Do you think you will go? If you do make it, 'tick'...another successful step forward. But if you don't make it...there will always be another day. Saturday and Sunday was horrible for me and I couldn't stop feeling nervous about today. I couldn't sleep properly and kept waking up all night. I almost talked myself into not going in at all today, but I thought...'no, I have to at least give it a go'. I forced myself back out into the garden to try and get my mind off things. Maybe you could give your puppy an extra walk to help get you out and about...even if for a little while?

Please let me know if you make the interview tomorrow or not. Plus I would also like to know how you are feeling. Hopefully a new day brings some new energy and a little bit more happiness.

[Nervybella]

Hey nicole

how did your week go? Hope you’re coping with the new role ok

i went for the interview. As expected was a ball of nerves. Not sure how I came across as I don’t remember half of the interview!! Ah well. Just wait and see if I hear back from them

im starting to think I need to look for work in a different, less stressful field or maybe even take some time off work all together and do a “eat pray love” type thing and find myself haha...