New job

[Haitchy]

Hi Folks. New to this forum.

I have suffered from anxiety for a few years on and off now. It came about after an abusive relationship and more recently my fathers sudden death.

I left a long term job recently - it was an unhealthy environment for myself and many others but that being said, I was comfortable with the work and in my comfort zone. Importantly, I was really good at my job.

Ive just started a new job. The environment is quite high pressure and I'm struggling a bit with learning new and very unfriendly software.

I've had a little training but I'm there alone effectively and trying to do my best.

Im finding that I'm getting quite frazzled when it's busy and I've made a couple of mistakes.

I'm trying to tell myself that this is normal but the brain is saying I'm useless and the people around me will think I am too.

ive actually started to dread going there - it starts when I wake up on the days I'm working with 'that feeling' in my chest.

Any advice on how to deal with this much appreciated.

[CoraC]

Hi Bella

i left a job after only being there one week. The hours were really long, I had to keep cancelling things I'd organised outside of work because I was stuck there every night. I had a terrible handover. I realised no one had been doing the work for months and there was a huge, unfixible backlog. It was a mess. Added into the mix, lazy unhelpful colleagues and a poor culture. Could I have stuck at it and made some headway? Yes, but not without great expense to my health. I decided I'd been sold a dud and moved on. I felt really bad, and it was embarrassing when people asked how my new job was going...but I also felt cheated into taking a role that hadn't been described accurately. I was not in a great financial position so leaving was a tough call. It took me three weeks to find something else. By coincidence I met the person they employed after me and they too left after a very short time. I did feel better that my instinct was right as when we compared notes, our experiences had been identical. The advantage of leaving early was there wasn't a gap on my cv, I just don't include the one week role in there. It was really hard taking a leap of faith into the unknown but it would have been very unhealthy to stay.

[Nervybella]

Hi Cora

I wonder if your old workplace started to see a pattern and did something about it? It’s sad how some companies just don’t see what impact they have on people

Are you liking this new job better?

yesterday I resigned from my job. I’ve had the last two days off work and spent that time speaking to my GP etc. they agreed that this didn’t look like the fit for me and commended me on knowing my trigger points. So I have to take that as a positive.

it was not easy having to ring my boss, but I did it and am pretty proud of myself that I was able to hold it together.

Now I just have to return the company property and I can start afresh.

[Nervybella]

Hi again Cora

I forgot to ask... how did you handle telling people about your leaving? I’m worried what people will say or think when they find out...

Also in future interviews how do you explain why you’re not working currently? I usually say honesty is best but wouldn’t want to mention my mental health in an interview??

Sorry if this is too personal also 🙂

[JRRL]

Hi Nervybella,

Finally I've found this thread that you've suggested. You can probably tell them that you just took a break from work and currently looking for a suitable role and you found this role that you think will be a perfect fit for you.

[JRRL]

Hi CoraC,

I need some advise as well, our case are almost identical. I was made redundant from my previous job and I had to look for a new one immediately, I found my current one very quickly however the job is very overwhelming to say the least. No handover was done, training is very minimal and the CEO expects me to conduct and drive major stakeholders meeting on a weekly basis which goes way past working hours which is not in accordance to the role that I applied for.

My wife suggested to me to quit my job and take some rest because I haven't been unemployed since 2005 and never took any long annual leaves since 2013. my annual leave are mostly spent on medical appointments due to my diabetes and anxiety.

Long story short I handed my resignation on Monday and the company didn't took it very well. Now I am doubting if I made the right decision now.

[CoraC]

Hi JRRL

i think the redundancy gives you a perfect reason as to why you're looking for work. You could just treat it as though you never started the other role. It is always hard to know if you've made the right decision, because you don't know what else might be out there, better or worse.

[CoraC]

Hi Bella

strangely, no one asked me about why I wasn't working. I had a story ready which definitely ddidnt involve talking about mental health. But they just didn't ask.

i just told the previous workplace that the role was not what I expected. I wrote a professional resignation, wished them well. Wrote a long handover, told, them where everything was at. Thanks for the opportunity etc. this didn't stop them from being very critical of me leaving, as I found out later, but you can't control what people do. As long as you know youve been professional, this's all you can do.

[Here_I_am]

Hey hey,

I find myself barreling toward what I believe will either be my resignation, a redundancy, or a swift deterioration of the relationship that could end with me being forced out. I find much of my day (on a stretch of personal leave for the past week) is spent frantically looking for other work and then worrying about whether I am in a state of mind to take on those roles or whether I could sustain the financial blow of a lesser paying job. I keep catastrophising the outcome, and in my mind I'm going to go in to work next week and within the hour I'll be unemployed... and the merry-go-round starts again.

Funny thing is I haven't even had any warnings or formal notifications that I'm not performing well; only a few conversations about differences of opinion/priority.

I've never felt so unsure about myself personally or professionally. My mind is stuck in the 'what if?' game ('what if you can't get another job?', 'what if you have a proper breakdown and have to go to hospital?', 'what if you're never the same again?', etc., etc.).

I mean, how does one reasonably stay on their feet with this anxiety album playing on repeat all the time?

[Nervybella]

Hi Here I Am

you ask how people stay on their feet with anxiety. Honestly it can be difficult sometimes

I think the best thing I’ve done is seek professional help. I started by talking to my family, then a GP, then a psychologist.

Having a support network is so important. Have you, or do you feel like you could speak to your manager or HR department at work? Maybe they would be able to give you some feedback to put your mind at ease or offer some time to get yourself back on track? I know not all workplaces are approachable in these situations though

let us know how you get on

Bella

[Here_I_am]

Hi Bella,

Thanks for your reply. Much appreciated.

My situation feels a little surreal. I am in what I believed was a supportive and functional workplace, but lately (the last month or so) it seems like they're getting their ducks in a row and I believe on some level that it won't matter what I bring to the table; they have made their mind up that I am not the right person for the role. I received a promotion in February, and things were going great until a month ago when their were some very abrupt changes in how I was being spoken to. I won't go into too much detail here, but suffice to say the atmosphere has become decidedly chilly in regard to the executive team (of which I'm a part) and their communication with me. I have had the last week off with sick leave as a direct result of my increased (and very new and unexpected) anxiety over the ambiguity of it all, and just today they have asked me to complete with my Doctor a return to work clearance. They've never required this of anyone else, and we've had some significant personnel issues with under-performers over the past year. I believe I am being treated differently, and feel it will end with me not working their either on my terms or theirs.

My biggest lingering anxiety issue is about how I could reasonably start a new job whilst feeling like this - not sleeping great, had some dark night a week or so ago where death seemed like a good idea, and generally feeling vulnerable and not my usual self. Will I be going from one situation that feels untenable to another that will be stressful anyway, and how will I manage with that new stress (less money, more work with a new job, etc.)?

I've never felt like this before. It's really knocked me for six.