New job

[Haitchy]

Hi Folks. New to this forum.

I have suffered from anxiety for a few years on and off now. It came about after an abusive relationship and more recently my fathers sudden death.

I left a long term job recently - it was an unhealthy environment for myself and many others but that being said, I was comfortable with the work and in my comfort zone. Importantly, I was really good at my job.

Ive just started a new job. The environment is quite high pressure and I'm struggling a bit with learning new and very unfriendly software.

I've had a little training but I'm there alone effectively and trying to do my best.

Im finding that I'm getting quite frazzled when it's busy and I've made a couple of mistakes.

I'm trying to tell myself that this is normal but the brain is saying I'm useless and the people around me will think I am too.

ive actually started to dread going there - it starts when I wake up on the days I'm working with 'that feeling' in my chest.

Any advice on how to deal with this much appreciated.

[quirkywords]

Haitchy

Welcome to the forum. Thanks for taking the step to open up and share your story.

I am sure many people will be able to relate to this.

You have just started a new job which rates high on stressors in one's life.

It would be expected than when you begin a new job you will make mistakes, have questions, feel a bit frazzled at times. I would say that means you are hardworking and conscientious .

Then the cycle starts as you feel you aren't doing your new work well then that leads to you dreading going to work which leads to you getting frazzled.

Is there someone you can ask for help and explain you just needs some ideas so you will be able to perform your job without struggling?

When anyone starts a new job there is a period where you need guidance while you get used to the new environment and the new work.

This is the time you need to ask for help and I am sure once things are explained you won't be struggling. Everyone was new once and probably felt like you do now.

Quirky

[Haitchy]

Thanks for the warm welcome Quirky.

I did ask for some additional training and they provided an extra session but I think they believe I should have had enough by now.

The work isn't difficult (nothing I haven't done before), it's just I'm quite slow using the software and that's what's doing my head in.

[Chloe90]

Hi Haitchy,

jusy wondering how everything went with your new job.

I’m in a similar situation after leaving a job in an unhealthy environment for what I thought I could handle. Only it’s completely tipped my anxiety over. The people are lovely I’m only 1 week in but don’t know how much longer I can last feeling like this.

i really hope it all worked out for you though!!

Chloe 😊

[Nervybella]

Hi Chloe and Haitchy

i know this thread is a bit old now. But I would love to hear how you both went. I’m about a week into a new job and not loving it at all! Anxiety has flared up massively

i left a job I was good at and comfortable in because there was talk of being made redundant. So I thought I should get ahead of the game and be proactive... now I’m worried I made the wrong choice.

Has as anyone left a job within 2 weeks of starting? How did you deal with it all?

bella. X

[Nicole73]

Hi Bella,

I found your post because I was searching about anxiety with a new job. I quit my last job after 1 week as it didn't feel right and my anxiety was through the roof. I believe I did the right thing as the job was not for me, but at the same time I am now even more anxious about starting a new job as I'm scared the same thing is going to happen. I am currently applying for jobs and it looks like that I am on track to have an interview for a job that I have applied for. Every time I think about it my stomachs goes in knots and I get light headed. I had a good stable job for over 8 years and I was very good at it and comfortable in the position. There was not a lot of stress in the job itself however the work environment was toxic due to people I worked with. In the end, I only left because I relocated towns. That's when I applied for the job I got and quit after the 1 week. I'm not sure I can give you any advice but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and I think you have done great getting to two weeks. Do you think the work and the workplace is ok and it is just your anxiety flaring up? If so, I reckon stick it out a little longer (if you can) and see if things settle down. However, if in your gut you feel that you are in the wrong job, then sometimes, it's better to get out for the better of your health. I would love to know how the past couple of days have gone?

[Nervybella]

Hey Nicole

thank you so much for replying. Sounds like we have been in very similar positions

good on you for applying still and getting interviews!

the last couple days have not been good for me. I’ve had a couple of panic attacks and have not gone into work today. Seeing my GP soon to hopefully get a new referral to a psych or something.

My gut is telling me to get out. The job itself is not what I imagined and seems pretty dull. The culture of the company - while portrayed to be things like all inclusive, young and fun actually in real life seems to be all CONSUMING, young and crazy. Not the lifestyle I am after. People said to me, “you know this job is your life now right?” Just the other day and it made me feel sick

I need balance in my life and I don’t think this role will allow it...

[Nicole73]

Oh Bella, I'm sorry to hear that things are still not going great. When I read "you know this job is your life now right?" my heart just sank for you. Your job should never be your life (well, in my opinion). Of course it will be a big part of your life (let's face it...not many of us can be financial enough to not have to work), but there needs to be a balance.

The job I quit after a week had a few triggering things for me. Every month they would have a 'party night' and it would involve a night out with dinner and drinks with just work colleagues (partners were not invited). I'm not a big fan of this sort of thing (in fact I hate this sort of thing) and when I do go out, I like to take my husband with me. Lots of little things reinforced that the job was not for me such as this (plus other things like them expecting too much too soon, people not even introducing themselves or saying hello, my supervisors not even saying hello or acknowledging me after being there for 2 days...and they had to walk past me to their desks. When my supervisors did approach me, they spoke 'about me' like I was invisible and just spoke to the person training me). Don't get me wrong, I know part of my decision was my anxiety talking rather than my sense of reason, but I'm still glad I left and trying to find something that fits my personality better. Many don't understand as they don't struggle with every day things that I do, but I'm pleased for myself that I made the decision I did. And...I have also learnt from it. Follow your gut I say...if it truly doesn't feel right (rather than just your anxiety rearing it's ugly head), then that is a good indication that perhaps the job is not for you. But then again, others may say just hang in there for a bit longer and see if it gets better. It certainly is a hard decision and I understand exactly where you are at. Keep me posted and let me know how you go and what you eventually decide.

[Nervybella]

Hey Nicole

i totally agree. I like to have division between my personal and work life.

Can I ask, how long ago you quit your job? Have you been able to find more work since?

I think it’s good you were able to see the triggers early. I’m trying to keep an open mind but there are lots of red flags popping up...

also not helping, I can’t get into see my regular Psych until SEPTEMBER!!! Just crazy and feeling at a massive loss and panic now as I just really needed to talk this out with someone.

[Nicole73]

Bella, I quit my job around 1 month ago. I had to give myself at least a week or so before I starting applying for jobs again as the whole thing rattled me (and still does a bit, but I'm one that needs to keep on going in fear of getting too far down and not being able to get back up again). I have been selectively applying for jobs which, although they are not 'perfect', but I think might be better than the last. And to be honest, when I get the 'sorry you are not successful' email, I am secretly deep down quite pleased...I know that sounds terrible. But saying that, I know I need a job and will keep applying. For me, I think I will also ask more questions in the interview stage and IF after all that AND I get offered a job, I know I have the right to say 'no' if it doesn't feel right again.

I'm sorry to hear that you can't get into your regular Psych, and how frustrating and isolating that must feel. I'm certainly not one who is authorised or qualified to give advice on the best way forward, but could you perhaps utilise the help lines that Beyond Blue offers? I know I have called them in the past and it has helped me. And I also get a lot of benefit from writing on these forums and having support from others who are going or have been through similar things.