My story and continued support

[thedam]

Hi this is the first time I have visited this forum and I have only read a few things but so far I can only have a positive outlook on this community.

Anyway my story so far is I am a 24 year old male Australian/Italian. I was born and raised in Victoria I had a pretty normal upbringing as far as I can tell. I was a bit of a class clown in school. Always doing something to make people laugh or smile. I never really cared for my grades, I always thought life would be an easy ride. Boy was I wrong.

At the age of 15 I was told I had an anxiety disorder and given several methods to control it. They didn't work and I quickly turned to alcohol as a means of remedying the issue. By the time I turned 18 I was a heavy alcoholic and avid marijuana user. I was getting bad chest pains and found out I have erosive gastritis so my drinking quickly ended and my marijuana use went up. I ended up dropping out of school and getting an apprenticeship as a carpenter.

The marijuana eventually lead to harder drugs like speed and ecstasy. It was fun at the time my close friends from school were doing it I had just got my license so being away from home for a few days was nothing out of the ordinary. Things quickly changed for me, my closest friends from school could see the drugs were taking control, I lost my job as a carpenter and had another 8-9 but couldn't hold them down. I started seeing my friends less and less cause they didn't like what I had become I blamed them because I was high on drugs and thought I was king and I couldn't do anything wrong.

I would have been around 20 when I started to realize what am I doing here, I was lucky if I was home 1 night a week, I was staying on peoples couches I hardly new! I looked like I was zombie, all my friends from school refused to speak to me... I had nothing and no one. Or so I thought..

I came home one night my Mum barely recognized me and I broke down and fell to floor crying begging for help! She sat down on the floor and put her arms around me and I still remember that glimpse of hope from Mum's touch.

After a tough 6 months I was clean I had a new girlfriend a few new friends, a great job that would be a career had I stuck to it. I was seeing my GP and a Psychologist regularly, everything was going fantastic! 

My girlfriend and I decided we should move in together. After a day of looking we got a house to rent and within the week we were living together. I then found out she would use drugs on occasion, this eventually lead to me using again and yes abusing them... After what seemed a short month me and my girlfriend had broken up I was back at Mum and Dads and using prescription pills as well as meth-amphetamine on a daily basis..

I had lost my job, I was on the doll I had fallen back in with my old "Druggo mates" I would do whatever I had to, to satisfy my daily cravings. Looking back now I cannot believe some of the things I am capable of. That lifestyle went on till 2 weeks before my 23rd birthday I had received a big payment from family for my birthday, so I went and spent the money on drugs.

I went into a drug induced psychosis, whilst this went on I physically attacked my brother, luckily I didn't harm him and he was able to hold me till police and an ambulance arrived.

I woke up 4 days later in hospital, unaware to how I got there why I was there or what the hell had happened to the last few days... I was released later that day into the care of my Mum. I was so ashamed and upset at what I had done that I went and for the first time attempted to take my life... I was found by an elderly gentlemen and he phoned an ambulance and had it not been for him I may not be here, I have not met him if I did I would be forever in his debt so if your reading this thank you for giving me another opportunity!

It has been 16 months since I have used hard drugs (I still use marijuana as a relaxant), I am in an apprenticeship and just about to go 2nd year (YAY!) But lately I have started to realize the only people I associate with are my work mates and my family. I have no friends outside of my home and my workplace. And I don't know how to make friends? My doctor's say join local sporting clubs and hobbie clubs but its easier said than done I am not much of a sportsman and the hobbies I have had aren't exactly what you find people having a club for. Before drugs I just had friend that were there from when I was a kid.

[JessF]

Hello thedam, well that is quite a story! Very glad you have survived through all this and that you have started to get your life back on track.  You know I wouldn't discount making friends through work.  I have some lifelong friends that I have met while working, and then stayed friends when I moved onto other jobs.  Why not start there?  Arrange to go out to the football or the movies at the end of the week.  And what about those friends from when you were younger? 

it sounds like drugs took up a big part of your life, so perhaps another thing to do is to start building the next phase of your life by finding out what it is that you enjoy doing outside of work.  Ok it might not be sport, but there will be other things to discover and find satisfying.  Start working that part out, and you are sure to meet other people along the way that share your interests.