I think anxiety around gender is making me constipated

[NZthrower]

Hi everyone! I've been constipated for over a week and almost two weeks for now. I have also been constantly anxious all the time. I have been constantly worrying about my views on gender identity and how it conflicts with society, what the facts might be, and how I feel like I will be shamed and so on. I believe in the gender binary, but I've glimpsed briefly at scientific papers that discredit the binary and demonstrate that certain medical procedures benefit people with gender dysphoria. I also am worried and disgusted and incensed at hearing of news that some hospitals in the US are doing top surgery to minors 15-16 and over, as I feel that minors that young can't properly consent to such a life changing procedure that can potentially have negative mental health effects if any part of the process before and during the procedure goes wrong. I am aware that parental consent is required based on my limited knowledge of such procedures, but I don't think it is enough to prevent very severe mistakes.

This has all caused cognitive dissonance and anxiety which I think probably contributes to my constipation, as I always feel like holding my excrement in and avoiding the toilet whenever the dissonance hits. I feel like such belies support a very narrow and conservative view on social issues, which I don't really subscribe to as I feel it to be needlessly restrictive. However, I find the binary of gender to be comforting and by extension conservative social views as I find the certainty and clarity underlying such views to be appealing, and gender identity to be very confusing to understand. I have trouble grasping with the view that a woman or man is determined by whether you identify as one, since isn't that a circular definition that has little useful meaning? I'm confused and anxious and hope you can clarify this for me, as I find uncertainty to amplify my anxiety. 

FYI, I'm not trans nor gender non-conforming. I'm pretty cis, but I'm just curious and don't want my take on the issue to be misinformed or hurtful. 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

We have around 30 community champions here and to date you havent had one reply, that's likely because it is a difficult question to answer by CC's that really are peer supporters, not professionals in any particular field.

So, I dont know if constipation is the effect of your worry, nor is your sexuality relevant unless you have problems there, it seems to me that worry/stress/anxiety centred around the issues of overseas methods, minors and other issues are your focus. So I'll address that now.

A golden rule of anxiety imo is- "if you cannot make any changes to something, then you are left with worry and worry is successful in only producing ulcers" The other related issue is obsession. Over focus on a topic can harm us by lowering our attention on topics that improve our daily life.  Eg if a uni student needs to study but his/her obsession takes up more time than warranted, then the obsession is hindering personal progress. If the obsession was to take less time with less intensity then it would be a better balance.

Anxiety is a serious disorder and should be approached as such in a variety of ways to contain it with the intention of ridding it from your life.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808

So the above threads attend to the anxiety and worry side of things. The other aspect is for you to look at the big picture of identity and while it is a topic of extreme importance, it might be beneficial to pull back just a little and carry out your research online or in a group setting in an approach akin to a milder approach. You might disagree and that's fine, but your worry and anxiety seems the priority ATM.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/sexuality-and-gender-identity/lgbtiq-not-conventional-you-are-st...

I hope I've helped with my limited knowledge here

TonyWK

[Bob_22]

Hi NZthrower,

Thank you for your post. I think it is so great that you've come here to ask these questions and are eager to learn more about things you're not sure about. Sorry about the delay in replying.

Regarding the constipation I would consider seeing a doctor when you can. Generally being constipated for more than a week is a medical issue that requires attention and treatment. This is what I was informed of by my doctor at least.

Thank you for sharing your beliefs about gender being binary. There are actually a small percentage of people who are also born intersex. You can learn more about that here: https://www.acon.org.au/who-we-are-here-for/intersex-people/ 

When it comes to gender identity the most common are the following: male, female, gender fluid, non binary. You can learn more about sexuality and gender identity language here: https://www.pridetraining.org.au/pages/pronoun-page 

I definitely understand that holding onto traditional views can be comforting. It is definitely difficult to understand the complexities of sexuality and gender identity. It took me a while and I'm still learning. ACON is a great resource in that regard. The fact that you're willing to learn though is what's most important. You won't be seen at all as misinformed or hurtful as long as you share that you're open and still learning. In fact I admire you for this. 🙂

Hope that helps.

Bob