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Husband going on a overseas work trip

Mon013
Community Member

Hi there, my husband is going overseas for work. He will be gone for 2 weeks. He only needs to do this once a year, but everytime is causes such awful anxiety the week leading up to it for myself. 

 

I am so concerned about something bad happening to him, or that we won't communicate well, that my anxiety will stay with me for the 2 weeks and that myself and the kids will miss him.

 

I seem to count down the days even before he leaves. I am so frustrated with myself for not being able to get on top of it. My rational mind knows I am being irrational. But i can not seem to shake the thoughts.

 

2 weeks just seems like such a long time to me right now. Any advise or help would be so appreciated please.

3 Replies 3

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

 

Anxiety is a serious illness. It has a few advantages like punctuality but overall life is far better when we conquer it and it is curable n some circumstances. (see link below)

 

Like many mental health issues, a multi ponged approach works best. If you simply get some medication from your GP that wont be a ideal long terms fix, add to it- relaxation, changes to your life like environment, move from city to country, going out more - comedy?, hobbies, sleep study, financial contentment or joining him on his business trip if thats possible. 

 

When I first got treatment for my anxiety in 1987 my therapist identified a few things that I recall to this day as significant to my overcoming my anxiety. "when Tony are you going to stop saving the world"... "every time you feel anxious ask yourself- is it realistic"

 

When we get anxious we often explode the situation away from realism, our out of control mind is saying that this upcoming event is life changing, a terrible thing to happen etc whereas, if you were a fly on the shoulder of your husband every moment of that trip, you'd highly likely be calmer as the unknown would discontinue. You'd know there was nothing to worry about. So my process was "is my thoughts realistic"? If they are not then how do you get rid of them? Well the answer is to use one or more of your senses, eg skin- play golf, sight- window shopping, build something, ears- listen to music, smell cook a meal. All these sensors give our mind a distraction.

 

I hope that helps.

 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/depression-distraction-and-variety/td-p/275790

 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808

 

Reply anytime

 

TonyWK

This is truly a beautiful reply to my post. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to write back in such detail. All of what you have said makes complete sense and I will absolutely be using the tools you have given me. 

 

Thank you for making me feel less alone and a little bit more safe.

You are si welcome. You made my day.

 

If I can help further post again

 

TonyWK