feeling stressed and frustrated due to built up emotion

[confirmed08]

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've posted on here but I'm unfortunately back. 

I've always had issues expressing my emotions to others to try and get support, I hate burdening family and friends, even those I'm incredibly close to, as they have other stresses and worries in their lives, let alone taking in mine. 

Since the mutual decision to stop seeing my therapist, I've not expressed any of my stresses and anxiety with anyone, and am making sure I do not cry to show too many negative emotions both around people and even alone so to 'train' myself I suppose to not express these. But this is causing my temper to be incredibly shortened and the smallest things are becoming incredibly frustrating. 

I know bottling these emotions up is incredibly detrimental, and I'm also encouraging friends not to, but I just can't bare sadden my family and after a bad experience with my ex partner betraying my trust, I don't want to reveal these things to my friends.

I don't want to burden them and I don't want to show weakness, but it's really hurting me.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome back

While it's a normal expectation to reach out to friends and family for support, it really isn't advisable. I reckon it's akin to trying to understand what it is like to be an astronaut walking on the moon, how many would understand it? Our mental health issues are invisible and it isnt like others can lift your arms and legs to help you get out of the car. So to, others ability to help is marginal. 

Hence the need for professionals to ease our burden, or here where we are in the least, a place to vent and share with those of like minds.

Matters less direct with mental health like separation of a partner can also be shared here under "relationships" if you feel the need. Getting over any relationship is hard particularly if trust was broken. With all this going on I suspect anxiety is a big issue with the smallest thing upsetting you. Again, a good reason to visit a professional, a GP at least.

Thankyou for returning, you're doing it tough and we do understand. 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/they-just-wont-understand-why/m-p...

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

Repost anytime, love to keep it going

TonyWK

[jaz28]

Hi confirmed08,

I am sorry you are going through a hard time right now. One thing - you are not a burden. Everyone has problems and there are people in your life that would be willing to help, you just need to find them and reach out. 

Why did you stop seeing your therapist? Did they see no need anymore? Maybe it is time to reassess this decision and open up to your doctor a little more about how you have been feeling. Therapy is a good space to voice your internal turmoil without feeling like you are unleashing it on those close to you (who, in reality, I'm sure would rather you talk to them than continue to suffer alone). You are not weak for trying to help yourself.

I hope you find some help but please reach out again if you need it,

Jaz xx

[Johnny_]

Hi confirmed08,

that’s not great to hear but it’s good you came here instead of bottling it up. congrats to you on that.

I can honestly say bottling it up is not a good idea, it makes things worse. My situation is different to yours as I am trying release a lot of built up stress so in turn, I do cry a lot atm, every second day at least. Sounds weird but over time I have felt better. I think it will help you to have a safe space at home and just cry..you’ll feel better.

I agree, if you don’t feel comfortable chatting to a friend or family member atm seeing a therapist is awesome as you can just off load, otherwise what about journaling? I find this helps me. If you don’t know what to say, ask yourself questions you want to be asked or write down what you are grateful for (ie: coffee..it’s great right) it gets you started. 

Also, try to add one joyful activity everyday too..even if it’s lightning a candle, weirdly I find it works on them hard days.

take care and be kind to yourself 🙂 

[MissG999]

Hi, glad you've reached out.

I do agree it's not good to use your family members as a full-on mental health resource since they don't have the skillset to deal with it, but letting them know in simple terms that you're struggling or sad can provide a lot of relief. That honesty can help them understand you better and help them avoid triggering you.

Showing some of your pain to the people you trust isn't really 'weakness' and you aren't a burden.

There are other options you can try to get some catharsis:

-Taking a limited period of time to write down your feelings

-Using forums like this one

-Setting a timer for a short period when you know you're free and alone then just letting yourself loose to cry or punch your pillow can help if you schedule good self care afterwards.

-Re-visit your therapist, counsellor or GP for less frequent sessions to vent and also have an outside perspective monitor your state. There's no shame in needing help.

-Pick up an activity you can sink into emotionally and/or physically. Dance, a sport or even throwing your body around with a favourite song playing can use up some frustrated energy.

I hope my suggestions can help or offer a bit of inspiration for you.

It's good that you aren't shutting everything out,

Wish you well

-GM