Feeling overwhelmed and need to talk.

[Beaser]

I wish this wasnt the case but things are getting overwhelming for me again . The world just seems a lonely place at the moment. I have friends who i seen on the weekend and i do get relief then. Its when i get back to being by myself that i crash. I have an appt with my psychologist today and had GP appt but he cancelled on me . I have had recent life events that have really made me distraught and lonely the main being a relationship breakup.

Im also unhappy at work and i feel like everything is so grey for me.

I have been a life time sufferer of anxiety and depression and being 56 it has tired me out. Im actually quietly proud of how i have managed to keep going and get as far as i have . Im scared about where i will end up from all this as i dont know where to turn . I have tried all my life to be a good person and think i have been .. I have always helped where i could and been a good citizen.

My family seem to have a history of depression and anxiety but i feel i have copped the worst of it . Ive always been oversensitive and let things affect me. I just want all this anxiety and depression to go away.

I have turned to these forums recently and its been a help to me . My anxiety and depression just gets so tough at times.

Where do i turn too in this place i just want to be happy again and want the same for others. Brett

I

[TLD1968]

Hi Brett,

Thank you for connecting with me. I woke today with your caring words. You helped me get out of bed. I swing between what  should say and what I need to say. This is a huge move for me in itself. I battle in my head with what is expected of me and my truth. Finding my truth takes me time and courage , then expectations invade my thoughts. You will notice the change between my thoughts as you read. Pause in silence and gathering my thoughts of truth.......... a tear appears !! My own truth is hurting me.  Talk again.

[Beaser]

Hi TLD

Im glad that you gained something from my post.

I think were all here to offer something as well as learn and hear from others. 

Talk more       Brett

[Beaser]

I have an appt at a large regional hospital on Thursday 

I have applied to do some voluntary work now that football season has wound up and im finished there. 

Im a bit nervous as i dont know what to expect but i feel i need to make an effort to do something.

At the moment its just one shift a week so i hope i can handle that.

  I felt the need to just write about this and maybe hear from others about similar experiences.

Brett

[blues23]

Hi beaser

I have read your posts sorry your struggling so much . Volunteering is a great way to improve self esteem, confidence ect I did it in my early 20s after looking after my mother for a long time it helped my confidence amazingly , I’m hoping to go back to it again soon . I have depression too but manage it with long walks and psychological sessions , I read a lot about your loneliness and I can resonate with that it’s hard to make & keep friends things can go pear shaped  & we’re all so busy it’s hard to keep friends as well sometimes ,your volunteering is a great way to meet people and stuff , I hope ur feeling a bit better now , what is your volunteering role going to be ? And yes like anything it can be scary but also exciting if u can  try to focus on the positive things and not the scary stuff of trying something new. 

[Jayj19]

Hey mate, how's things been? Hope you've made some postive progress since we last spoke.

The volunteer work is a great idea, the best way to get love and happiness is give it.

Take care mate

[therising]

Hi Brett

Good on you for volunteering. I think we have to get into new environments in order to see whether someone in that environment is going to be the person to change our perception and life, whether that be on day one or day 101. An exercise in curiosity you could say. I think it's we who can be stepping into changing someone else's life too. Are there people waiting and hoping to meet someone like you, someone who's sensitive (can sense easily in ways others need), someone who's thoughtful? Easier said than done sometimes, taking that first step into a new environment.

With the nervousness, those butterflies in the stomach and chest do get worked up at times. They're hyper little things🦋😊. Once they really get going, it can feel like it's fear that they're delivering. I much prefer to imagine them as being the butterflies of courage. The more fear I feel, the more worked up the butterflies get as they work so hard to override that fear. Deep breathing tends to calm them down. One of the things I like about meditation is you can imagine anything you want, even the most outlandish things, something we did when we were young daydreamers. Ahh, the things we used to imagine before we lost a lot of that as adults. If we want to meditate on imaginary butterflies inside of us, next level is imagining their colour. Perhaps they're all different colours or maybe emerald green with a glow of light about them. Next level comes talking butterlies which might sound like 'You got this Brett, you're going to be fine. Actually, you're going to be more than fine, you are the person this place has been waiting for'. I smile when I say there are some things worth keeping to our self or phrasing carefully. When someone says 'How did your first day go?', the response 'The magical talking green butterflies of courage that live inside of me helped me get through' may raise a few eyebrows. 😂

[Beaser]

Thank you Blues for your kind reply. 

I really appreciate that youve taken the time to read my past posts. 

Youre right about focusing on the positive things .

My volunteering is i believe going to be involved with older people just assisting and company type things. 

I hope youre going ok yourself im sorry to read of your battles. Hope to hear from you .       Best wishes for a Happy Day.           Brett

[Beaser]

Hi Jay.

Great to hear from you again . 

Ive been ok but have some bad days and have found this week a bit tough. 

I think the football finishing and my role there finishing has hit me a bit.

Im hoping thati can fill this void with my volunteering at the hospital as nerve racking as it is for me.

I will let you know how it all goes.

Thanks again andbest wishes for a Happy Day.       Brett

[Beaser]

Thank You Rising always good to hear from you.

I do appreciate your encouragement and understanding.

Im  going to remind myself of those words you say that im going to be fine.

I have tried the meditation thing but i just seem to struggle with it im not sure why.

I do need to concentrate on my breathing though as i tend to forget that one. 

I hope you have  a Happy Day always great to hear from you.

Brett

[Beaser]

Bit of a tough day and week.   I think that the football finishing has hit me hard as i miss that connection .  Also i went for a walk through the Hospital where i am going to volunteer.  I found it a bit overwhelming if im honest i just hope i can handle it .  I dont know why this week has been so hard but its hit me.      Brett