Feeling overwhelmed and need to talk.

[Beaser]

I wish this wasnt the case but things are getting overwhelming for me again . The world just seems a lonely place at the moment. I have friends who i seen on the weekend and i do get relief then. Its when i get back to being by myself that i crash. I have an appt with my psychologist today and had GP appt but he cancelled on me . I have had recent life events that have really made me distraught and lonely the main being a relationship breakup.

Im also unhappy at work and i feel like everything is so grey for me.

I have been a life time sufferer of anxiety and depression and being 56 it has tired me out. Im actually quietly proud of how i have managed to keep going and get as far as i have . Im scared about where i will end up from all this as i dont know where to turn . I have tried all my life to be a good person and think i have been .. I have always helped where i could and been a good citizen.

My family seem to have a history of depression and anxiety but i feel i have copped the worst of it . Ive always been oversensitive and let things affect me. I just want all this anxiety and depression to go away.

I have turned to these forums recently and its been a help to me . My anxiety and depression just gets so tough at times.

Where do i turn too in this place i just want to be happy again and want the same for others. Brett

I

[Beaser]

Hi and best wishes to everyone.      Im feeling things today i just feel so lonely at times. I spent Saturday at my football club and yesterday i just went to the local Hotel..  Its just that i get some connection when i go there. Im really feeling lonely and i miss my ex girlfriend .  I texted her this morning but theres been no reply.Weve stayed friends and there has been no problems with upsetting each other .   I just so wish i could see her pull up at my place again or go and visit her.  I know people say i should leave it but i really do care about her . I wish i had of been a better partner and maybe i wouldnt be going through this pain.      Beaser

[CakeFace]

Hi Beaser/Brett,

I just read your original post and it felt so much like how I feel lately! Unfortunately I don't have any helpful tips but I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in feeling like this! 

[Beaser]

Thank you CF.

I hope your ok and are getting some support .  Id be interested to hear a bit more about how youve been feeling if you felt like talking.        Brett

[CakeFace]

Hey,

I can't afford a psychologist right now unfortunately, as even with the rebate it is still very expensive but I have a supportive spouse and cats which help. 

I feel like my anxiety is suffocating, it consumes my whole life. I get your comment about things feeling grey, it's like living life in a black and white movie while everyone else is in colour. 

Mental health has been a life long struggle for me, something that did help a little is I have seen a few people talk about how for some of us there is no cure, but we can manage it. It's so much more stressful when you are told there are "cures" and there's that implication you're damaged goods when these "cures" don't help or fix it.

Hope you are ok.

[Beaser]

Tough times at the moment i start my new job on Monday and im so scared.  I also feel so alone at the moment . I wish i had family . I so miss  girlfriend and wish i could turn the clock back .  Just someone to be there.  I hate this life of depression and anxiety its just taen everything from me.     Beaser.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Beaser,
 
We are sorry to hear that you’re currently struggling with the anxiety of starting a new job. Please remember this is a normal part of the process and these overwhelming feelings will resolve as you begin the job and become comfortable in the new role and routine.
 
Unfortunately, we cannot turn back the clock and change the past, but we do have the ability to shape our future. Although your relationship with your ex-girlfriend is currently over, you never know what may change with time with your ex or a possible new partner.
 
But we understand that feeling lonely and isolated can make it feel as though we are struggling through this alone, but the forums community is here for you. Please remember if you feel you need to talk through how you are feeling with a counsellor, please contact Beyond Blue either via phone  1300 22 4636 or through Beyond Blue Online Chat.
 
We would also like to recommend a service called Friend Line, they provide a service of volunteers who are there for a “cuppa and a conversation” as a friendly ear to listen. If you follow the link to their site and select your state, a local contact number and chat link for that state will be provided for contact. Please note they operate Monday to Friday 6pm–8pm AEST.
 
Warm regards
Sophie M

[Hopskotch22]

Hey Beaser

I reckon a lot of people can relate to how you feel and the cycles you go through - the ups and downs and the overwhelming feeling of anxiety and hopelessness. I'm exactly the same. I've wrestled with anxiety and depression for more than 40 years. So I speak to you not from a high horse, but on the ground standing next to you.

I read through all the posts and your responses. One thing that seems to stand out for me is the way you frame your problem and thinking. Have you thought about whether you display victim thinking? If not, it might be a topic worth exploring. I know it enlightened me and helped me realise that I choose how I feel about every event and situation. I realised stuff doesn't 'happen to me'. Stuff just happens. I choose how to respond and think about it. So, I stopped making excuses for how things turned out and started taking more responsibility for my actions and how I choose to feel/respond to situations. It actually worked. 

When I'm struggling and stressed and furious and ruminating like mad - and everything else that goes with depression and anxiety - I remind myself: "Change what you can; accept what you can't'. This takes enormous pressure off me. I know if I don't make any effort to change something, then I can't expect it to turn out how I want. Only got myself to blame in that instance. And strangely enough, that's empowering.

The other question I ask myself when I think things are the worst is: "What if the opposite were true?" That was a real cracker for me. Helped reduce the negative spiral thinking that I usually had 24-7. Kinda stops the unhelpful thinking in its tracks. Try it if you haven't. It's pretty cool.   

You're always going to have good days and bad. That's life with anxiety. I ride the bad days like waves, knowing they'll pass and not to fight them, because trying to control and fight them just tires me out. For you, I say put the past to bed, draw a line in the sand, and start focussing on the things you can change now.  Baby steps dude. Just one at a time. The small wins get bigger with time and so does your capacity to cope. We're all in this together, so keep on sharing. 

[ecomama]

Hey Brett

Congratulations on starting a new job! That's awesome that you're getting back out there. 

I've put a few strategies in place for when I'm feeling overwhelmed and need to work. 
I'll share a few: 
~ knowing that I'll be coming home at the end of the day, think 'one day at a time or one moment at a time'
~ packing a nice lunch that I'll enjoy eating
~ having something to look forward to at the end of the day, even if it's just putting your feet up and coming on to the forums to share your story. 

Best wishes 
EM

[Beaser]

Thank you so much everyone for your kind and thoughtful thoughts.   Ive read them thoroughly and appreciate them .  I understand people like you all put time and effort into reading and offering help and sharing experiences. Thank you it all helps.   Brett.

[Beaser]

Thanks HopsKotch      I appreciate youve read my posts and replies.    Your right in a lot you say and i will try and change my way off looking at things.  Change what you can accept what you cant.   Its a good way to think.   Thank you always good to talk anytime.    Brett.