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Conundrum of Staying

Community Member

Hi All,

Sorry for the sulk!

Due to my close friendships with 2 close friends in the Quora group, I want to remain anonymous.

During our conversation, both of them flagged up red flags that I needed to see a mental health person and take some therapy. I am not certain what caused that feeling based on our discussion.

In a nutshell, my wife and I moved to Australia from the UK several years ago and although she has settled in, I am not. I have always wanted to return, however with a few children and a couple of houses, it seems an unrealistic goal to reach. The message I was sending to my friends in both conversations was that I was uneasy here and was unable to see anything positive in what I had accomplished. As a result of the manner in which I presented my topics, I appeared to be negative in my approach, despite being thoughtful and content about my circumstances.

In both instances, they advised me to take some time to reflect upon my current situation before making a decision. However, if I leap into seeking assistance, what will be the outcome of that?

1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Jimy~

Welcome here to the forum. It's a good place to come ot get other people's perspectives, sometimes one is too close oneself.


I guss the first thing to say is you sound homesick. This can be a very natural reaction to a change of circumstances, particularly such a big one as changing countries. Australia has a fair few differences to the UK and there could be a lot to miss.


The second thing is you do not seem to have found -as yet - your niche where you have satisfaction and accomplishment here. It's a pity you do not see yourself has having done anything positive, though I suspect you are mistaken. Bringing up a family is a big thing in itself. Changing countries wiht a family successfully is another.


I'm not sure these constitute a mental health issue, though I'll stress I'm no doctor. I would think it a matter of degree on how much it affects your life.


There would be no harm in visiting a doctor for a checkup and see what they say. You are after all in charge and can weight up their words for yourself.


Are you trying to deal with this all by yourself or do you have support - possibly talking matters over with your wife?


Just as an aside I went back for a visit to the UK some time after I came out. I found things had changed and my memories did not correspond with what I found over there, so I was glad to get back here.


Then again Ronald Biggs (the Great Train Robber) voluntarily returned to the UK towards the end of his life being so homesick as to come back knowing he would face long imprisonment - it can be a pretty powerful feeling.


I hope to talk with you again