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Community Member

Hi. I suffer anxiety in many forms. Performance, social and general. It can really cripple me from just doing day to day tasks. It manifests itself in perspiring, nausea, fatigue and just feelings of dread. It affects my relationships and day to day living and is absolutely exhausting. I try to sleep, eat and do some form of exercise to try and overcome it. As well, I try breathing techniques, praying, distractions etc to try and get on top of it but tend to get beaten down in the end. I find it extremely embarrassing and always feel deeply ashamed and guilt ridden. Am at a lost. 

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Community Member

Hi Well-being, I have many of the things you listed and I'm struggling with them so I cannot give you much of advice other than just sharing your feelings and letting you know you are not alone...  but so far, what I found was this phrase "self-compassion is an antidote of shame"... I think it is helping me a bit to cope with shame. I hope you can find some good strategies soon!

Community Member

Hi there it sounds like you are doing so many things to help yourself well done. Anxiety is a tricky beast to master and it is definitely exhausting. It is incredible how many ways it manifests itself physically, mentally and emotionally. 


It's only been the past few years I have started to understand the impact of anxiety on my life. I am wrestling with self compassion and loathing towards myself. Medication has helped take the edge off and assisted my concentration. I see an amazing psychologist who has been part of my support team for nearly 8 years. I am struggling with my anxiety/depression at the moment and my doctor has been fantastic. 4 days sick leave granted no questions. 


I think you are really helping yourself and I hope you have a support team  you can draw on for help too. I understand the guilt and shame. I ask myself 'What is wrong with me?' I suppose it's got to do with nature vs nurture. It's also a harder society to live in, the lack of connection we are all feeling. Anxiety is debilitating.  So if you go out for 30 minutes one day, congratulate yourself. Small goals, baby steps. You can let us know and we'll celebrate with you.

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Well-being


I wish highly sensitive deeply feeling people were told, from the very beginning of their life, 'You will be able to sense/feel just about everything significant in your life, therefor it is your goal to better understand what it means to be able to sense or feel. It is your #1 goal to become a highly sensitive deeply feeling master of it all'. So, no suppression, just mastery.


I suppose some key issues to address could involve

  • how to master gaining a better sense of our fears while feeling them through our sympathetic nervous system and inner dialogue
  • how to master triggering our parasympathetic nervous system and inner dialogue, in order to gain a sense of peace
  • how to master releasing tension from our muscular system, vascular system and other physical systems (through physical practices) while also perhaps interacting with those systems through inner dialogue

and on it goes. Of course, all easier said than done.


Then there's the understanding and mastering of triggers. Learning what they are and what they relate to can definitely be a massive challenge. It made a huge difference to me when I heard someone define emotion in a really unique way. Emotion is 'energy in motion'. I suppose we could say 'I can feel energy in motion. I can feel when external energy meets with my body (with solar energy being the most simplistic example, with us feeling it as 'warmth') and I can feel energy moving through my body (things heating up)'. Considering we have a variety of energy systems in our body, that's a lot of feeling. Some of the systems in the body that energy runs through or gets stuck in: Nervous system, vascular system, immune system, muscular system, endocrine system etc etc. So, the question could be, for a start, 'What triggers actually trigger my nervous system to go into overdrive?'.


In a social setting the triggers I can personally sense or feel are 1)small talk, as I'm far from being a master at it, 2)the number of people at an event, 3)the amount of sound at an event (sound is a form of energy, so a lot of it can overwhelm my systems), 4)my lack of confidence in my ability to manage, especially when I don't know many people, 5)my inner dialogue and so on. These 5 triggers are just off the top of my head. There are more. Large social gatherings tend to trigger one of my inner demons I've come to label as 'The harsh and brutal inner critic'. It can sound like 'Look at all the people around you having no trouble socialising. What is wrong with you? You're hopeless. You're seriously dysfunctional. You should have just stayed home'. Such an inner demon can make a social event feel like hell. On the other hand, my inner divine sage can be reasuring with 'You made it here and that's something to be proud of. Many of the people you see around you were probably raised to be social butterflies. You're developing your wings now, at this age'. I'm a 53yo gal by the way, determined to grow my butterfly wings. Not an easy task, while managing social anxiety. Inner dialogue can be a massive trigger, that's for sure.


Not having yet mastered your ability to feel or sense is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, working hard to master it all is something to be incredibly proud of. How many people do you know who are into such self mastery and self understanding? You may actually be the most conscious person you know. ❤️