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Anxiety

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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Orangeicy The narcissist smear campaign
  • replies: 8

Hey everyone.I've been thinking about smear campaigns...the evil, vile, insidious way a narcissist will try to alienate you.I think I am finding myself in the middle of one. People looking at me like I just rolled in dog poo and staying away like I'v... View more

Hey everyone.I've been thinking about smear campaigns...the evil, vile, insidious way a narcissist will try to alienate you.I think I am finding myself in the middle of one. People looking at me like I just rolled in dog poo and staying away like I've got the plague.I'm not sure what it being said and I don't want to know either I'm sure it's vile. Everything I read says just ignore and don't engage. That eventually the narcissist will reveal themselves, the lies and hurt they've caused. The eventually is all good. It's the right now that is doing my head in. How do you deal with the right now without going crazy?

Athenry Social paranoia
  • replies: 3

I’m not really sure what the point of this post is. I just feel kinda alone but I’m also distancing myself a bit. I’m struggling with my hormones so bad and I think I’m imagining people are mad at me and I don’t know if they are or not. Sounds a bit ... View more

I’m not really sure what the point of this post is. I just feel kinda alone but I’m also distancing myself a bit. I’m struggling with my hormones so bad and I think I’m imagining people are mad at me and I don’t know if they are or not. Sounds a bit silly, I know… but the intrusive thoughts really suck. I don’t really have many close friends and I wish there was someone who understood. Pretending to be fine is really hard.

criss Learning to let go on control
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone. Ive been struggling with this for years. Im not a seemingly strong control freak but, over the years I have learned to manage and assert my life and conduct in a certain way in order to progress effectively and feel comfortable without o... View more

Hi everyone. Ive been struggling with this for years. Im not a seemingly strong control freak but, over the years I have learned to manage and assert my life and conduct in a certain way in order to progress effectively and feel comfortable without of course, hurting anyone. I ask alot of questions so I can make informed decisions. This brings me peace of mind. I noticed lately, many people operate and respond at different levels, some outright avoid, or redirect questions as to not be accountable etc. My issue is I feel anxious or frustrated when others dont answer the question, or answer a question with a question or dont give me a timeline for things when I ask.I mean this by way of everyday comitments and things to do such as dealing with companies online and off, trade, or every day issues with people at work or otherwise that require info for me to do a project or something. I find myself really stressing, feeling lost and out of control, not heard or respected. I understand everyone has issues but I just feel that times have changed and society just dont want to deal with others or common expectations or comittments. When I feel I can gain control of my circumstances and am at the mercy of waiting constantly for others it really affects me and my outlook. I get down, negative and it makes me feel like being the same back because thats the only way people learn. I hate being like that because its not my true self.Just putting it out there.

Kimmy63 Looking at taking anti anxiety medication
  • replies: 4

Hi my name is kimmy ,I.m just asking if anybody is taking anti anxiety medication and how they feel about taking them ? As I.m looking at going on anti anxiety meds

Hi my name is kimmy ,I.m just asking if anybody is taking anti anxiety medication and how they feel about taking them ? As I.m looking at going on anti anxiety meds

Succulent Queen Call out for how to keep a job - bullying, toxicity, anxiety, depression
  • replies: 7

Hello, Would anybody out there like to give tips, methods, strategies, things they have said, done - absolutely anything at all, whatsoever, that has helped you survive a workplace and keep your job. Also, anything you have successfully been able to ... View more

Hello, Would anybody out there like to give tips, methods, strategies, things they have said, done - absolutely anything at all, whatsoever, that has helped you survive a workplace and keep your job. Also, anything you have successfully been able to do to manage the dread of going to work each day. My experience - I have social anxiety. It results in depression, whirlpools of unhelpful thought, mood fluctuations, severe lack of interpersonal skills, inability to build rapport, chronic awkwardness, need to avoid / isolate and a moderate paranoia that everyone is judging me either too positively or too negatively. Sometimes I react defensively for no reason other than my own distorted social perceptions which confuses people further. Sometimes this defensiveness offends others. My filter is leaky and sometimes I say too much when on a mission to be more liked.I get caught up in listening to and sometimes participating in workplace stories and politics because I feel its safer for me to know and monitor/control the environment. Doing this is pointless and simply exacerbates the above thoughts and symptoms. I feel embarrassed and guilty afterward for getting drawn into the toxicity of this form of social bonding - the social politics that is. I'm also a people pleaser and even annoy myself with the degree of niceness I go to to avoid disapproval or being unliked. And on it goes. Im exhausted.So, I hope there are people out there who can help me learn where to start in stopping some of this behaviour by hearing what you have done to manage this. I can and have spoken to a psychologist (plenty) but a real convo out in the real world with a real peer is where I think the solutions are. So, to all my socially anxious, socially awkward, depressed, ridiculously anxious peers out there who are just trying to hold down a job, what do you do to survive the workplace? (And no I cant, for a couple of reasons, have a talk with my boss). We all have a right to earn an income. Mental health is a brute when it comes to the workplace.What do you do?

white knight Worry, worry worry
  • replies: 12

I've often said in these forums "worry is non productive". It doesnt produce a thing for your positivity. You can worry that you have an appointment the next day. Then you dont sleep because you are worried you will sleep in or forget your CV documen... View more

I've often said in these forums "worry is non productive". It doesnt produce a thing for your positivity. You can worry that you have an appointment the next day. Then you dont sleep because you are worried you will sleep in or forget your CV documents or not be dressed up well enough. All 3 things in this example is worry for zero benefit. You can have 2 alarm clocks to prevent you sleeping in, you can place your CV in the car so you dont forget it and you can select your clothing the night before....so off you go and have a good night sleep...bet you dont!! That's because 'worry' is inground, it's part of you, like a limb. So it's extremely difficult to rid yourself of this burden. The first and most important step is separating reality with unrealistic thoughts. When we allow out thought patterns to trod along without challenge then we have a problem. Discipline to attack unrealistic thoughts has to be there for many reasons like - the less you think unrealistically the more time you have for real thoughts. And unrealistic thoughts can cause other issues to- Fear! In 1987 I had a big dispute at my workplace. A pain in my chest and an abnormal heart beat led to a diagnosis of heart attack. This was incorrect and after a few months it was found to be a panic attack. My therapist asked me weekly what happened during the week and I'd tell him I thought my boss would knock on my door, or my doctor wouldnt believe my fear was real or I really did have a heart attack and they got the diagnosis wrong again. Can you the reader see where I'm coming from? The next step is relaxation. Learn it. Go to relaxation classes. Learn muscle tensioning exercises. They really work. What you would be doing is learning a task that some do naturally but for some reason you missed out. It isnt your fault but if you dont attack the issue it will be your fault. You wont find a relaxing life and that is not good. Take it from someone who knows. The last step is prioritising. Placing things in priority allows you to tackle the hard things first then as you tackle less important things you begin to relax more. Finances is a good example. Low on funds you should be shopping for food instead you decide to get that truck load of manure for the garden. For the rest of the week until pay day you struggle with coins only in your pocket. = worry. Worry is non productive.It doesnt produce a thing except hurt, anxiety, depression or at least assists these things. Remove it from your life. Tony WK

criss Feeling really stuck, lonely and unable to decide what I want.
  • replies: 21

I've lived alone for years, had relationships on and off that didn't work. Never married. I spent a long time alone working on myself, my home, I travelled and did all I could to follow my truth, be honest with others, work hard and overcome my own i... View more

I've lived alone for years, had relationships on and off that didn't work. Never married. I spent a long time alone working on myself, my home, I travelled and did all I could to follow my truth, be honest with others, work hard and overcome my own issues at times. For the most part, outwardly I seem like I have done good. Many of those years alone I felt comfort knowing I was free to live my truth, even when I struggled I got up and kept going. I guess I believed that one day, things would fall in to place and someone would appear in my life that would complement and add that missing element. That hasn't happened. I don't worry about needing someone to live with, to offer me financial security or anything like that. I'm used to living on my own. However, the last few years I feel so very sad and empty inside. I can't even talk to friends about it because often they tell me how envious of my freedom they are and don't hear me. I look at joining groups, classes like I used too etc but nothing inspires me any more. I feel the world has changed around me, things aren't how they used to be. I do not find online meetup and social media at all fulfilling and don't participate although I have recently been tempted to a virtual other world platform simply to be able to feel like I can find connection. When I think about meeting someone new and a possible relationship I'm frozen and fearful and question myself whether I really want someone new because I don't trust whats out there. Many do not reveal themselves honestly any more. I look forward to work for the activity and friendships but my life at home feels so empty. I've been tempted to contact old flames just for the connection, but I've done that before and it always ends badly where I regret calling. I stop myself each time I think this way now for fear of making the wrong decision in reaching out as I have experienced alot of disappointment and let down in my life and do not want to feel that pain again. So, I'm stuck.I'm not sure what to do from here in my life. I'm in my mid fifties, and keeping it together barely internally. Just reaching out here for so feedback and to be heard.Thanks in advance for reading my post and sharing...

Bill Skarsgard Mental breakdown
  • replies: 5

Hi all, I’ve come here as a way to help my self. The last week or so I have not been my self. I haven’t been able to work, go out, socialise with anyone besides my partner. I’ve been crying out of the blue, mind is racing, experiencing derealisation ... View more

Hi all, I’ve come here as a way to help my self. The last week or so I have not been my self. I haven’t been able to work, go out, socialise with anyone besides my partner. I’ve been crying out of the blue, mind is racing, experiencing derealisation and paranoia, feeling as if I’m not in touch with reality. Experiencing anxiety and panic attacks, the whole shebang. I feel completely hopeless and at the same time, feeling a terrible amount of guilt due to my mental health deterioration. I am on the verge of quitting my job. Everything is too much, everyday life is too overwhelming. Has any one experienced this?, if so how did you overcome, and get on with life? I feel it is a nervous breakdown, I’ve never experienced one. I guess a build up of work stress, on top of that my father being hospitalised for months at a time in ICU.

Jane1996 Sexual Orientation Obsession
  • replies: 2

Hello, I am new to the forum and need some peer support. I was diagnosed with OCD 6 years ago about my sexual orientation and since being off medication it came back worse than ever at different times. The fear remains the same. I thought I liked men... View more

Hello, I am new to the forum and need some peer support. I was diagnosed with OCD 6 years ago about my sexual orientation and since being off medication it came back worse than ever at different times. The fear remains the same. I thought I liked men but became confused and have internally debated whether I am gay since I was 17. I had not questioned before this time, it happened suddenly when I read an article about a gay man and then I thought what if I am gay? and began to get sexual images of people. The obsession keeps grasping onto different things each time and changing, it is a living hell and has made me suicidal in the past. This time I saw a video of Jodie Foster and something caught my brains attention, maybe because she seemed to talk like a male character I had seen on some other show or something. Anyway, it felt like I was attracted to her? but also not attracted to her? it was a weird feeling like my brain had registered something masculine about her and got confused. I have been obsessing about this for hours- was it attraction/not attraction? what was it? why did this happen etc.? I realise this is reassurance seeking and I need to stop doing it but I literally cannot sleep properly until I feel some resolution to the problem. I re-watched the video more than once and the feeling was gone after checking and rechecking. Any help?

Macchiato Is it Anxiety?
  • replies: 2

Hi. I'm an 18 year old, bisexual guy and I've just moved into Australia five months ago. I'm not certain but I'm doubting that I might have anxiety.Lately, I've caught myself fidgeting alot. Although I notice that I'm fidgeting, sometimes I can stop ... View more

Hi. I'm an 18 year old, bisexual guy and I've just moved into Australia five months ago. I'm not certain but I'm doubting that I might have anxiety.Lately, I've caught myself fidgeting alot. Although I notice that I'm fidgeting, sometimes I can stop it but sometimes I can't. I'm introverted. Yet nowadays, I find myself reaching out more to people. I think I might be afraid of being alone. For instance, this morning I found out that my roommate was moving out. Tho we don't have a strong bond between us, I felt sad. The feeling stayed with me for the whole day and I couldn't focus. I usually am not this kind of person and this is new to me. I also wanna reach out to a psychologist or therapist, but I don't know how and I'm not sure if I'm brave enough for it. I'd like to know your thoughts and experience on this one. It'd mean alot to me.Thanks in advance.