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Anxiety

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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Succulent Queen Call out for how to keep a job - bullying, toxicity, anxiety, depression
  • replies: 7

Hello, Would anybody out there like to give tips, methods, strategies, things they have said, done - absolutely anything at all, whatsoever, that has helped you survive a workplace and keep your job. Also, anything you have successfully been able to ... View more

Hello, Would anybody out there like to give tips, methods, strategies, things they have said, done - absolutely anything at all, whatsoever, that has helped you survive a workplace and keep your job. Also, anything you have successfully been able to do to manage the dread of going to work each day. My experience - I have social anxiety. It results in depression, whirlpools of unhelpful thought, mood fluctuations, severe lack of interpersonal skills, inability to build rapport, chronic awkwardness, need to avoid / isolate and a moderate paranoia that everyone is judging me either too positively or too negatively. Sometimes I react defensively for no reason other than my own distorted social perceptions which confuses people further. Sometimes this defensiveness offends others. My filter is leaky and sometimes I say too much when on a mission to be more liked.I get caught up in listening to and sometimes participating in workplace stories and politics because I feel its safer for me to know and monitor/control the environment. Doing this is pointless and simply exacerbates the above thoughts and symptoms. I feel embarrassed and guilty afterward for getting drawn into the toxicity of this form of social bonding - the social politics that is. I'm also a people pleaser and even annoy myself with the degree of niceness I go to to avoid disapproval or being unliked. And on it goes. Im exhausted.So, I hope there are people out there who can help me learn where to start in stopping some of this behaviour by hearing what you have done to manage this. I can and have spoken to a psychologist (plenty) but a real convo out in the real world with a real peer is where I think the solutions are. So, to all my socially anxious, socially awkward, depressed, ridiculously anxious peers out there who are just trying to hold down a job, what do you do to survive the workplace? (And no I cant, for a couple of reasons, have a talk with my boss). We all have a right to earn an income. Mental health is a brute when it comes to the workplace.What do you do?

white knight Worry, worry worry
  • replies: 12

I've often said in these forums "worry is non productive". It doesnt produce a thing for your positivity. You can worry that you have an appointment the next day. Then you dont sleep because you are worried you will sleep in or forget your CV documen... View more

I've often said in these forums "worry is non productive". It doesnt produce a thing for your positivity. You can worry that you have an appointment the next day. Then you dont sleep because you are worried you will sleep in or forget your CV documents or not be dressed up well enough. All 3 things in this example is worry for zero benefit. You can have 2 alarm clocks to prevent you sleeping in, you can place your CV in the car so you dont forget it and you can select your clothing the night before....so off you go and have a good night sleep...bet you dont!! That's because 'worry' is inground, it's part of you, like a limb. So it's extremely difficult to rid yourself of this burden. The first and most important step is separating reality with unrealistic thoughts. When we allow out thought patterns to trod along without challenge then we have a problem. Discipline to attack unrealistic thoughts has to be there for many reasons like - the less you think unrealistically the more time you have for real thoughts. And unrealistic thoughts can cause other issues to- Fear! In 1987 I had a big dispute at my workplace. A pain in my chest and an abnormal heart beat led to a diagnosis of heart attack. This was incorrect and after a few months it was found to be a panic attack. My therapist asked me weekly what happened during the week and I'd tell him I thought my boss would knock on my door, or my doctor wouldnt believe my fear was real or I really did have a heart attack and they got the diagnosis wrong again. Can you the reader see where I'm coming from? The next step is relaxation. Learn it. Go to relaxation classes. Learn muscle tensioning exercises. They really work. What you would be doing is learning a task that some do naturally but for some reason you missed out. It isnt your fault but if you dont attack the issue it will be your fault. You wont find a relaxing life and that is not good. Take it from someone who knows. The last step is prioritising. Placing things in priority allows you to tackle the hard things first then as you tackle less important things you begin to relax more. Finances is a good example. Low on funds you should be shopping for food instead you decide to get that truck load of manure for the garden. For the rest of the week until pay day you struggle with coins only in your pocket. = worry. Worry is non productive.It doesnt produce a thing except hurt, anxiety, depression or at least assists these things. Remove it from your life. Tony WK

criss Feeling really stuck, lonely and unable to decide what I want.
  • replies: 21

I've lived alone for years, had relationships on and off that didn't work. Never married. I spent a long time alone working on myself, my home, I travelled and did all I could to follow my truth, be honest with others, work hard and overcome my own i... View more

I've lived alone for years, had relationships on and off that didn't work. Never married. I spent a long time alone working on myself, my home, I travelled and did all I could to follow my truth, be honest with others, work hard and overcome my own issues at times. For the most part, outwardly I seem like I have done good. Many of those years alone I felt comfort knowing I was free to live my truth, even when I struggled I got up and kept going. I guess I believed that one day, things would fall in to place and someone would appear in my life that would complement and add that missing element. That hasn't happened. I don't worry about needing someone to live with, to offer me financial security or anything like that. I'm used to living on my own. However, the last few years I feel so very sad and empty inside. I can't even talk to friends about it because often they tell me how envious of my freedom they are and don't hear me. I look at joining groups, classes like I used too etc but nothing inspires me any more. I feel the world has changed around me, things aren't how they used to be. I do not find online meetup and social media at all fulfilling and don't participate although I have recently been tempted to a virtual other world platform simply to be able to feel like I can find connection. When I think about meeting someone new and a possible relationship I'm frozen and fearful and question myself whether I really want someone new because I don't trust whats out there. Many do not reveal themselves honestly any more. I look forward to work for the activity and friendships but my life at home feels so empty. I've been tempted to contact old flames just for the connection, but I've done that before and it always ends badly where I regret calling. I stop myself each time I think this way now for fear of making the wrong decision in reaching out as I have experienced alot of disappointment and let down in my life and do not want to feel that pain again. So, I'm stuck.I'm not sure what to do from here in my life. I'm in my mid fifties, and keeping it together barely internally. Just reaching out here for so feedback and to be heard.Thanks in advance for reading my post and sharing...

Bill Skarsgard Mental breakdown
  • replies: 5

Hi all, I’ve come here as a way to help my self. The last week or so I have not been my self. I haven’t been able to work, go out, socialise with anyone besides my partner. I’ve been crying out of the blue, mind is racing, experiencing derealisation ... View more

Hi all, I’ve come here as a way to help my self. The last week or so I have not been my self. I haven’t been able to work, go out, socialise with anyone besides my partner. I’ve been crying out of the blue, mind is racing, experiencing derealisation and paranoia, feeling as if I’m not in touch with reality. Experiencing anxiety and panic attacks, the whole shebang. I feel completely hopeless and at the same time, feeling a terrible amount of guilt due to my mental health deterioration. I am on the verge of quitting my job. Everything is too much, everyday life is too overwhelming. Has any one experienced this?, if so how did you overcome, and get on with life? I feel it is a nervous breakdown, I’ve never experienced one. I guess a build up of work stress, on top of that my father being hospitalised for months at a time in ICU.

Jane1996 Sexual Orientation Obsession
  • replies: 2

Hello, I am new to the forum and need some peer support. I was diagnosed with OCD 6 years ago about my sexual orientation and since being off medication it came back worse than ever at different times. The fear remains the same. I thought I liked men... View more

Hello, I am new to the forum and need some peer support. I was diagnosed with OCD 6 years ago about my sexual orientation and since being off medication it came back worse than ever at different times. The fear remains the same. I thought I liked men but became confused and have internally debated whether I am gay since I was 17. I had not questioned before this time, it happened suddenly when I read an article about a gay man and then I thought what if I am gay? and began to get sexual images of people. The obsession keeps grasping onto different things each time and changing, it is a living hell and has made me suicidal in the past. This time I saw a video of Jodie Foster and something caught my brains attention, maybe because she seemed to talk like a male character I had seen on some other show or something. Anyway, it felt like I was attracted to her? but also not attracted to her? it was a weird feeling like my brain had registered something masculine about her and got confused. I have been obsessing about this for hours- was it attraction/not attraction? what was it? why did this happen etc.? I realise this is reassurance seeking and I need to stop doing it but I literally cannot sleep properly until I feel some resolution to the problem. I re-watched the video more than once and the feeling was gone after checking and rechecking. Any help?

Macchiato Is it Anxiety?
  • replies: 2

Hi. I'm an 18 year old, bisexual guy and I've just moved into Australia five months ago. I'm not certain but I'm doubting that I might have anxiety.Lately, I've caught myself fidgeting alot. Although I notice that I'm fidgeting, sometimes I can stop ... View more

Hi. I'm an 18 year old, bisexual guy and I've just moved into Australia five months ago. I'm not certain but I'm doubting that I might have anxiety.Lately, I've caught myself fidgeting alot. Although I notice that I'm fidgeting, sometimes I can stop it but sometimes I can't. I'm introverted. Yet nowadays, I find myself reaching out more to people. I think I might be afraid of being alone. For instance, this morning I found out that my roommate was moving out. Tho we don't have a strong bond between us, I felt sad. The feeling stayed with me for the whole day and I couldn't focus. I usually am not this kind of person and this is new to me. I also wanna reach out to a psychologist or therapist, but I don't know how and I'm not sure if I'm brave enough for it. I'd like to know your thoughts and experience on this one. It'd mean alot to me.Thanks in advance.

99isthebest Health Anxiety about hearing damage
  • replies: 5

Hey all, So doing the usual health anxiety thing and looking for reassurance. Which I know is not a good way to help but here I am. Basically, I went to watch a video on YouTube the other night in bed as I do from time to time. And I only had one ear... View more

Hey all, So doing the usual health anxiety thing and looking for reassurance. Which I know is not a good way to help but here I am. Basically, I went to watch a video on YouTube the other night in bed as I do from time to time. And I only had one ear phone in my left ear. I didn’t realise but I had my volume turned up to the max level. At first I tried to turn it down but felt I wasn’t doing anything quick enough then ripped it out of my ear. So all in all it was probably about 5 seconds. I know no one here’s a medical expert but I guess I wonder if anyone had anything similar and found a way to overcome it. I keep trying to rationalise about it. Thing such as apple wouldn’t make the loudest volume available defeaning over a short period of time. or that I can still hear I guess it’s hard as I already have tinnitus which I know comes and goes with my anxiety as well. But my ear still feels funny. What’s anyone ever experienced something similar and how are ways you’ve dealt with it? Any help I would be very thankful. cheers.

Blue2 I'm a Newbie
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm new to all this. I feel totally unqualified to offer anybody else advice or pointers. All I can do is say I am more than happy to be involved and contribute as usefully as possible as we go along. I recently slipped into a round of insomnia, ... View more

Hi, I'm new to all this. I feel totally unqualified to offer anybody else advice or pointers. All I can do is say I am more than happy to be involved and contribute as usefully as possible as we go along. I recently slipped into a round of insomnia, causing my previously mild anxiety to escalate into a claustrophobic blanket that self perpetuated itself to the point I couldn't see a way out. Fortunately, I have a listening caring GP who gave me shirt term sedation but only if I agreed to take Therapy to find my way out of the dark tunnel I was in. Is anyone else feeling as I did? If so, please unburden yourself here and share your thoughts. It will help. We are all here for each other. Thanks for listening folks. Belle

string_cheese Medication - coping with weird feeling in face
  • replies: 4

Hi there! I have recently been on a strange journey with medication. At a low dose I find it really helpful. But recently (to cut a long story short) I have had to take a higher dose. It is only temporary but I hate it. I constantly feel like I am fl... View more

Hi there! I have recently been on a strange journey with medication. At a low dose I find it really helpful. But recently (to cut a long story short) I have had to take a higher dose. It is only temporary but I hate it. I constantly feel like I am floating in the air, falling through space, or like a ghost somehow. I am confused by simple things, and don't understand things. On top of all this, it feels like my thoughts go in loops or get cut short, and then I feel breathless. Around my eyes and my forehead feel tight. It is so unpleasant. Has anyone else had this before?

Heidi_1 Hard start to the year
  • replies: 2

hey everyone, This year hasn’t gone the way I want it to and it’s only the start, looks like I might be in for another tough one. I just feel like it’s never going to get easier to constantly fight with the battle in my head, I’m worried I might just... View more

hey everyone, This year hasn’t gone the way I want it to and it’s only the start, looks like I might be in for another tough one. I just feel like it’s never going to get easier to constantly fight with the battle in my head, I’m worried I might just give up fighting, it’s extremely tiring, it’s like I’m fighting a losing battle. People tell me it will get better and it’s not going to last forever but it certainly doesn’t feel like it.I’m exhausted and it’s so hard to get up and do things. When does things start to get better? Let’s hope the next few weeks are looking up.