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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Panic90 My new colleague is triggering my anxiety
  • replies: 5

Background: I have anxiety and PTSD mainly as a result of my previous job. I started a new role in an office job about 12 months ago and it's been going great. About three months ago, a new person started in my team. Her behaviour triggers my anxiety... View more

Background: I have anxiety and PTSD mainly as a result of my previous job. I started a new role in an office job about 12 months ago and it's been going great. About three months ago, a new person started in my team. Her behaviour triggers my anxiety and PTSD quite badly. She talks a mile a minute, all day and in a loud voice. It leaves my head spinning and I often have to go and sit in the bathroom for some quiet. She will also suddenly exclaim something loudly which frightens me. She constantly walks up behind me and just starts talking which also frightens me. She talks endlessly about how worried we should all be about losing our jobs, how XYZ boss seems angry at you etc etc. Very doom and gloom which also sends me into a spiral worrying. How can I deal with this person? I'm not at all assertive. I've made a few albeit weak attempts to have her stop talking to/at me constantly but nothing gets through. I feel like I'm spending more and more time sitting in the bathroom hiding from her than working.

jessepinkmanfan my class is starting to bully me and it won't change
  • replies: 3

so i'm in the middle of my high school years and i've been at my current school since the start of 2022 since i left my old school for a similar reason. i'm a quite loud, open person who overshares and usually people aren't big fans of that, which i ... View more

so i'm in the middle of my high school years and i've been at my current school since the start of 2022 since i left my old school for a similar reason. i'm a quite loud, open person who overshares and usually people aren't big fans of that, which i can understand, so i try to work on my voice level and stuff. well, my class liked me for a bit, but then since the start of term 3 people have just started to be mean and snappy to me. i haven't even done anything.... and half my class had gone against me and talked about me and my mental health behind my back. they say i use it for an "excuse" for everything (i have a GAD and am always in a really low mood/have suicidal thoughts). they also make fun of my loud/people pleasing habits and at that point i have tried to change how i act to my class. it's really not fair. i don't like feeling like i have to walk on eggshells just to make OTHER PEOPLE not be mean to me. i can't just "stand up for myself" or "ignore it" like everyone tells me to because it doesn't work that way. that won't automatically erase the problem. at least for me it won't. before everyone asks i've told teachers, counsellors, and my parents and the school says they'll "deal with it" (this happened a week ago and they have not "dealt with it") and my parents say i need to ignore it and stand up for myself since they're not going to move me again. i know it sounds really petty but i'm hypersensitive so this is why it made me mad, i wrote a happy birthday thing on the whiteboard for my favourite celebrities since the class did that a lot and so did i, and someone genuinely yelled across the room really rudely and told me to rub it off cause "nobody cares". nobody in this class except like 5 people talk to me anymore. i feel like i'm only there in class to be judged by everyone else. i don't like feeling like me always feeling like i don't want to go on is unnatural and i should "fix it". my next psychology appointment is this afternoon but i feel like i should let everything out on here because i really want to cry and just never go to school again because of this. i hate my school so much.

Thesunwillcomeup Personal Embrassment/Worry - What If
  • replies: 3

I have struggled on and off with Anxiety since I was a teenager. I've had professional help, medication etc.. to control and place mechanisms in place to better understand and deal with larger and smaller attacks I have. I continue too struggle with ... View more

I have struggled on and off with Anxiety since I was a teenager. I've had professional help, medication etc.. to control and place mechanisms in place to better understand and deal with larger and smaller attacks I have. I continue too struggle with controlling and dealing with the "what if" the comes from both decisions and actions I take. I understand and accept this is a normal reaction and a healthy reaction ( emotion realisation is important ), but when irrational "what if" starts pushing through the rational, I continue to struggle. Two nights ago, I made a silly personally decision. I was alone and bored in a city away from my home, and decided to go to adult entertainment club. I have zero confidence and self belief, so I'm an easy target for the pushy ladies. When pressured I said yes to a dance. But before it happened, as I when to pay I decided to just walk out without telling her. Straight my "what if" kicked in. Will she look me up and socially embrassment me, will she ring my employer (stupid me, no confidence, used my real name and occupation) etc.. Then later, my "what if" when into overdrive. The owners of the club are underworld figures, will they use the cameras to face match me, find me etc... Now I never got a dance etc.. so I didn't owe or steal anything, but I did say yes, then walked out instead. Please can anyone provide me with a rational argument/though pattern to this anxiety. I accept the stupidity is on me, and I put myself in a vulnerable situation (I guess I was testing myself), but I hate that still with all the help/support, my brain will always revert to the negative irrational conclusion of worry. Help and support Is much appreciate

Diane100 Workout anxiety
  • replies: 4

I had a personal trainer quite a while ago. I saw him two times a week because of a beauty paegent. When the paegent finished, I still kept training with him for my health. Although he was a nice guy, he made some comments that made me feel uncomfort... View more

I had a personal trainer quite a while ago. I saw him two times a week because of a beauty paegent. When the paegent finished, I still kept training with him for my health. Although he was a nice guy, he made some comments that made me feel uncomfortable or topics of conversation. Even as far as poking me which I do not feel comfortable about. With that reason in mind as well as the fact that it was expensive and I had gotten the hang of it, I quit the personal trainer. The problem is I have severe anxiety attending the gym while he is there. I’m fine when I’m on my own but since it is a small gym, I feel very awkward because I quit him. I’m a people pleaser and I get extreme anxiety thinking he’s judging my routine and I get very conscious about what I’m doing. I can’t handle the awkwardness that I quit him but it’s the only nearby gym and the other gym is either too expensive or it has other people I know in my personal life attending there. It gives me anxiety because I worry people are laughing at me either because I don’t know what I’m doing or that my body isn’t good enough to be going to the gym. I don’t know how to overcome this fear.

Max15 Always looking forward
  • replies: 5

Not sure if I should be on this forum. I'm always looking forward and never satisfied with now. It has affected my previous marriage and is now affecting my new relationship. I have nothing to be sad about, I have a great relationship (as I did previ... View more

Not sure if I should be on this forum. I'm always looking forward and never satisfied with now. It has affected my previous marriage and is now affecting my new relationship. I have nothing to be sad about, I have a great relationship (as I did previously) I have a beautiful house, good job but can't get my head to be satisfied. I never feel good enough. Not sure what to do or if I really need to do anything except ignore.

EllyJoy work anxiety
  • replies: 2

I have always struggled with Anxiety and Jobs. I have been working since 2014. In that time I have moved workplaces 6 times. (2 hairdressing jobs and 4 childcare jobs) Currently I feel like I am carrying around a big rock in my chest, caused by my fe... View more

I have always struggled with Anxiety and Jobs. I have been working since 2014. In that time I have moved workplaces 6 times. (2 hairdressing jobs and 4 childcare jobs) Currently I feel like I am carrying around a big rock in my chest, caused by my feelings towards work. I also feel that I have experienced some workplace bullying recently. I have recently been so uncomfortable at work that I couldn't eat any meals until night-time, and even then not much. It's affected my sleep and my wellbeing.I have reduced my work hours. I work in Early Education and always put on my best front for the children, being kind, friendly and caring. But i feel so burnt out doing this work and being uncomfortable at work because of poor relationship with my boss is making me feel awful. I also feel guilty because I feel I shouldn't be working children if I feel this way.I volunteered 6 months of this year doing Administration with an aged care charity which was very refreshing. It was a calm and quiet environment, and much easier on my body. Every time it comes to making a real change, taking a new industry job or moving on I just get paralysed by fear of change. So I end up getting burnt out, taking a new childcare job, hoping for better. But it never works out. I'm also just afraid that the problem is me and that I'll never find a job where I am happy. I have lots of hobbies that I love, so my job doesn't need to be the end all and be all. What really want to do is just quit. I want to rest in bed for a week. Go back to volunteering, work causally and try out some different industries. If have read this, thank you. I feel so lost.

Jessksch I had an anxiety attack at work and now have a week off...feel guilty
  • replies: 45

So some personal things have happened through the years: both my parents passed away in 2014 and 2015, my brother sueing us for the inheritance...recently my partner tried a new job to an area with hopes we can buy a house there but the job didn't wo... View more

So some personal things have happened through the years: both my parents passed away in 2014 and 2015, my brother sueing us for the inheritance...recently my partner tried a new job to an area with hopes we can buy a house there but the job didn't work out and now we're lost not being able to afford a house. That all has passed and I work in a job I'm ok with, but difficult to balance full-time work and life. It has been a year and last week was stressful, people kept coming to me about mistakes I made every day, then one day my supervisor mentions a mistake AND that I am working too slow, I lost it. I ran to the bathroom trying to do breathing exercises, but the body wouldn't listen and tears started pushing through until I just let it out. I washed my eyes and continued work, but quiet and people knew something was wrong. At the end of the day I called in sick for the next day and saw a doctor who gave me a week off for stress leave, I have already been off a few times this year and seeing a doctor and a psychologist again today but the guilt of not being able to cope is overwhelming. I keep thinking of the future, where and how can we afford a home without renting? How am I able to function in the real world? What is the point of it all?... I was on medication and it has helped through the year, now taking another medication so I can sleep at night, but anxious dreams still come up though able to fall asleep in less than an hour at least. I'm trying so hard not to loose it, yes I should relax and it is a disease, but in real life nobody will give you a break and it makes you a loser for it. I have been thinking of just working as a cashier again part-time, but feel like a loser. Especially since I always wanted to sell my art but nobody buys it even with paid advertisement so now I don't know what to do in my life. I don't have anything to look forward to, nothing excites me anymore and my passion for life has run dry.

Liz-ard Scared of dying
  • replies: 4

Hi I have been having these panic attacks that are intense. My youngest daughter left last year to go live in Townsville and it broke my heart. I suffered for 8mths till my Dr decided I needed more help and was put into a private mental facility whic... View more

Hi I have been having these panic attacks that are intense. My youngest daughter left last year to go live in Townsville and it broke my heart. I suffered for 8mths till my Dr decided I needed more help and was put into a private mental facility which I stayed for 2 mths. Which did help, but I find it hard to follow what I was taught in there to do it at home. She also had been wanting to join the Army and this happened last week and I’m heart broken all over again. I don’t know if it’s the fear of something happening to her, but because of all of this I’ve had to see a Cardiac specialist as my heart rate is so irregular and I’m trying not to stress, but the fear is taking over my life. I have no family and I don’t have many friends so I’m all alone. Any advice??

Coconutpancake Anxiety over a blackout
  • replies: 9

So I have a fear that I have cheated on my partner every time I drink and don’t remember something. I am in no way a heavy drinker. Maybe a few beers once a month or more on a Friday due to being locked down. I drank the other night with my housemate... View more

So I have a fear that I have cheated on my partner every time I drink and don’t remember something. I am in no way a heavy drinker. Maybe a few beers once a month or more on a Friday due to being locked down. I drank the other night with my housemate while on a zoom video with some of our friends. We were having a great time and I remember majority of the night apart from the end. I woke up in the morning in bed with my partner in my underwear (I like to sleep freely). Automatically I panicked and though “shit, what if I kissed our housemate?”. So I got up, checked our ensuite to see where my clothes were and they were there, I must of had a shower before bed. Even while writing this I’m automatically thinking “I must have slept with him and he put my clothes in my ensuite to cover it up and put underwear on me. Aaah! Anyway I got up because I had to work from home and I was nervous to see him because I had convinced myself already that something happened. I don’t remember anything, don’t have any flash backs but I found myself looking in his room, sitting on the couch where we had the zoom and even kissing my hand to see if I remembered anything. I have been looking on the internet for the past two weeks trying to find answers there to put my mind at ease. I don’t think anything is weird between him and I, but it’s like I’m trying to find things out sneakily. For example he called me hun and I’m like why the heck did you call me that? I know this probably stems from one occasion years ago when I got drunk and according to other people I cheated on my boyfriend and kissed someone and then they said they were tricking me? Who does that? Or is this just anxiety? I’ve always been an over thinker and think about my past and cringe and wonder what I could have done different. Like the time I was 10 and over thought so much that I thought I was a lesbian because my brother told me I was. Or when I put my dog to bed in the laundry and remember the tap was leaking and it might flood the laundry and he would get hypothermia. I feel like I have something I’m hiding from my partner - why do I feel like this? Does it mean I did do something? Help!

Ariel-08 Empath
  • replies: 7

This week I’ve been feeling a bit consumed with life’s happenings and hard to stay focussed. I thought to myself that I care too much and am always there for others . I am tired of being there taking on others peoples issues. I some health struggles ... View more

This week I’ve been feeling a bit consumed with life’s happenings and hard to stay focussed. I thought to myself that I care too much and am always there for others . I am tired of being there taking on others peoples issues. I some health struggles but being a empath is a challenge . I know how much my energy can be zapped ! I am learning more about this . I am reliable and caring but I wanted to take a step back . I believe my care factor needs to be adjusted slightly so I am doing things for me . I realise I need to but in boundaries , see my councellor and lower my expectation of myself . Can anyone relate to this ? Let me know your ideas