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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Not_Batman OCD focus help
  • replies: 6

Hi all. Im trying to rein in my OCD, which seems to be getting a little out of control. Just want to find out if anyone has any strategies or advice on dealing with it. to start i have the O part, not the C part. Often My thoughts go fast, which i fi... View more

Hi all. Im trying to rein in my OCD, which seems to be getting a little out of control. Just want to find out if anyone has any strategies or advice on dealing with it. to start i have the O part, not the C part. Often My thoughts go fast, which i find good for coming up with ideas and solutions to things but, its very tiring, and that voice in my head also speaks louder and with more of a dark side. So i have that to contend with too. When it comes to activities, once i get onto something, i become obsessed until i have an outcome that im happy with, though sometimes its hard to move on until the outcome is near perfect. Sometimes it makes me get super excited kind of to a manic point, that's not so much the problem. the problem is, i dont have OCD when it comes to the important things such as work tasks or daily personal life tasks. If only i had the same enthusiasm. I know that if i had more of the energy then my workload would become less of a burden. how can i channel the energy into the important things. Not_Batman

demonblaster Working Through Addictions
  • replies: 28

Hi everyone ☺ Welcome aboard...hold on Being creatures of habit makes addictions mighty to break as many would know. Good news is we do have it in us to beat the brutes. There are so many different types which usually have a major negative impact on ... View more

Hi everyone ☺ Welcome aboard...hold on Being creatures of habit makes addictions mighty to break as many would know. Good news is we do have it in us to beat the brutes. There are so many different types which usually have a major negative impact on our lives affecting and hurting those around us creating more anxiety and depression. I've so far managed to break some including smoking. I've given up full time still have the odd one or packet but won't ever take it up full time again! Compulsive gambling. 21 yr habit. After 10 + yrs of abstinence had occasional devastating relapses which have been in mania. This will NEVER be an ongoing problem again! The compulsions not any longer there thank goods. So far.. • To break a habit we need to create a new one. Preferably not another addiction A new habit forms with persistence. By not indulging. Nothing easy tho either is the addictions consequences...but doable. Baby steps is one way Cold turkey's effective for many but puts tremendous extra stress on. Most people I've spoken with have been successful. I think addictions are a way of blocking pain by finding a safe place. Survival. Gambling gave me a bubble of security. I'd zone out.The excitement was phenomenal but devastating consequences. Financial insecurity's no ones pleasure. We adapt...too well. I built a near unbreakable wall where pain depression guilt sorrow didn't enter my thoughts for the most. An average person would have suffered deep depression and been suicidal. Not a good life. If only we could use that srength with Mental health (MH). Thing is survival our strongest tool...it's in us. Learning to redirect it towards recovery. Our reasons to give up build our strength. Belief too that in most cases it'll improve our lives. Reinforce reasons constantly. I'm going to write my reasons down and have them in sight and on my bedside table to read repeatedly. As well be thinking why I want to give up A lifetime habit I'm embarking on.Weight loss. I know I CAN and WILL. I want to feel good again about myself. A thought is I'll do this like I did with smoking. The craves go each time and there's many. They reduce in time. Already worked. Resisted about um... let's see...50 craves yesterday. Feeling better already! Good luck everyone. Support. We got this. The powers in us!

GTH Dealing with Daughter's Anxiety - won't take prescribed Medication
  • replies: 3

My 24 daughter has always suffered from a high level of anxiety and appears really effecting her ability to deal with many things in her life at present. Obviously with Covid already adding another dimension to everyone's lives, it is becoming a chal... View more

My 24 daughter has always suffered from a high level of anxiety and appears really effecting her ability to deal with many things in her life at present. Obviously with Covid already adding another dimension to everyone's lives, it is becoming a challenge for her to deal with trying to get a job after she has completed her Uni Studies at the end of 2020. She is also very conscious of germs or the threat of germs around her and is very concerned about being physically ill a lot of the time or worried about getting sick. She has been prescribed with some anxiety medication as a trial to see what effect it may have but basically refuses to even try because "she doesn't want the stigma of being medicated" for some reason - again i don't know why but this what she has said. My wife and i have encouraged her to try the medication but again she point blank refuses. Her struggles to find employment after many rejected applications is getting her down (totally understandable) but again with her anxiety in facing interview panels and to keep on applying in the face of reject is putting a real strain on our relationship with her. There has been many shouting matches over the last year between her and myself/wife and we always want the best for her but at times she just appears to not want to try to do things. Really getting quite concerned about how her anxiety is effecting all our lives in the house hold and wanted to see what advice to encourage her to at least try the prescribed medication - even when she has discussions with doctors, it has been difficult for her to express her true feelings and again, she is very self conscious about this year. She is normally a bright bubbly person around her friends and her sister/boyfriend but really struggles when she needs to talk to people she doesn't know in her attempts to land a job. I know it appears that i am being very judge mental and lack the understanding of what she is going through but i don't know what else to do at the moment and obviously want the best for her. Any advice would be most welcome.....

Baljit *Trigger warning* (Violence) Incident - Feeling Vulnerable
  • replies: 2

Dear All, I just wanted to share a incident that took place yesterday, and I can’t stop replaying this in my mind. In summary, I was in the bank yesterday having a chat with one of their staff, and suddenly out of no where there was a commotion with ... View more

Dear All, I just wanted to share a incident that took place yesterday, and I can’t stop replaying this in my mind. In summary, I was in the bank yesterday having a chat with one of their staff, and suddenly out of no where there was a commotion with a male shouting and swearing, and the next thing I see is him storming over to his partner who automatically got onto her knees and into a ball position to protect herself. (This is the image that I can’t get out of my mind), and at this time fortunately the security team intervened. I was and still am in shock and feel physically sick as I have never experienced anything like this before and it’s just breaking my heart. I cant stop thinking about the female and her life, and how I can help her. Baljit

Iwanttocryeverday I can’t stop myself going down the black hole
  • replies: 3

I don’t know how to really do this I’m new here but I believe I’m really struggling and my mental health is now getting in the way of my life. I thought I knew what was making me this way but to be completely honest I don’t even know what it is anymo... View more

I don’t know how to really do this I’m new here but I believe I’m really struggling and my mental health is now getting in the way of my life. I thought I knew what was making me this way but to be completely honest I don’t even know what it is anymore but I am so unhappy I’ve lived with my partner and his family for three years and it has been everything but rainbow and daisies - it’s been HELL and so difficult to co live with each other at the start I was treated badly because his own sister was going through some mental health issues. I felt like nothing I did was good enough, there was always a problem because I didn't do what they wanted up for their standards, I was spoken about in another language, she would purposely run hot water while I was in the shower so I could never shower and there was an argument or fight everyday. Ever single day. My partner was gambling I felt like I was losing control of what was happening. I feel like I lost myself for them. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’ve had my privacy taken away from. My happiness. My dignity. Everything is gone and I don’t know if I can’t even get it back. I can’t help but feel so much resentment towards them because I blame them but now, everything in the house has calmed down so much and changed abs it is better way better but I feel like, I kept my mouth shut for so long in order to respect them, now I'm not okay and they think why am I upset if it’s all in the past? But I can’t let it go no matter how hard I try I have so much resentment I don’t know what to do anymore

CJJ Anxiety and Health
  • replies: 9

Hi everyone, Does anyone else feel that their anxiety contributes to their health issues? I have become so anxious (and perhaps paranoid) about covid that I don’t know if my anxiety is causing my body to be symptomatic at times. I’m going for covid t... View more

Hi everyone, Does anyone else feel that their anxiety contributes to their health issues? I have become so anxious (and perhaps paranoid) about covid that I don’t know if my anxiety is causing my body to be symptomatic at times. I’m going for covid test #15 tomorrow and can feel everyone’s eyes roll that I’m going again I hate that anxiety makes me feel so bad. It feeds my depression and is best friends with my ocd. This roller coaster sucks!

Ashley1994 Health Anxiety - Tingling
  • replies: 3

Hi there, I am in the process of waiting to see someone regarding health related anxiety. For the past 2 weeks I have had a tingling/bubbly feeling (similar to a piece of cotton rubbing on my leg) in the outer side of my left calf. I do not know if t... View more

Hi there, I am in the process of waiting to see someone regarding health related anxiety. For the past 2 weeks I have had a tingling/bubbly feeling (similar to a piece of cotton rubbing on my leg) in the outer side of my left calf. I do not know if this is anxiety related, it happens 10+ times a day randomly. Obviously I have gone to the google route and think I have MS. I am hoping this is not true. Has anyone experienced this feeling, in 1 specific area for longer than a few days? I’ve read about anxiety tingling but I’m not sure if they mean a full limb and only while they are having an anxiety attack, mine is even when I’m not feeling anxious. Thank you!

D Walsh No known trigger
  • replies: 4

Hi, I have been on and off with anxiety and depression for about the last 15 years. Initially it was triggered by stress with uni exams and people pleasing. Once that phase of my life was done I have found myself in and out of the cycle to the point ... View more

Hi, I have been on and off with anxiety and depression for about the last 15 years. Initially it was triggered by stress with uni exams and people pleasing. Once that phase of my life was done I have found myself in and out of the cycle to the point I sometimes now don’t even know what is triggering me? I find it so difficult when I can’t attribute this feeling to a cause. just wondering if anyone else is this way?

gracielou22 Struggling through my notice period at work! Advice?
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I'm hoping for some advice. I resigned from my job two weeks ago, but due to my contract terms I have to see out 6 weeks of notice before I can finally be free of the place! I'm finding it really difficult to get through the notice period. It... View more

Hi all, I'm hoping for some advice. I resigned from my job two weeks ago, but due to my contract terms I have to see out 6 weeks of notice before I can finally be free of the place! I'm finding it really difficult to get through the notice period. It's a small office environment and the only other employee who is in office for the same hours I am is being quite passive-aggressive and hostile towards me, and it's making me extremely anxious and miserable. Has anyone had any experience re-negotiating notice periods due to mental health issues? If so do you have any advice for how I could approach my situation? My boss is also pretty inflexible and stubborn sometimes so I'm wondering if I need to go to my GP for a medical certificate or something official to help me escape this corporate nightmare! They're yet to find a replacement for my role so I imagine that will also factor in. Additionally, I have no capacity to work from home so I'm really feeling stuck in the situation! Thanks!

that_one_quieter_kid Does anyone know how to describe this..?
  • replies: 3

Hey so, I'm new around here so mind me if I'm intruding. Does anyone know how to describe the feeling that everyone you know hates you, whether it be family, friends, it could be anyone. Am I just paranoid or is it related to how other people have tr... View more

Hey so, I'm new around here so mind me if I'm intruding. Does anyone know how to describe the feeling that everyone you know hates you, whether it be family, friends, it could be anyone. Am I just paranoid or is it related to how other people have treated/treat me? Honestly I feel as though I intrude on every possible thing, I feel as though I don't belong anywhere. It's not even just that, I feel as though some of those people want to take their anger out in specific ways towards me, no matter what it be. I don't know how to describe it really. Whenever I try to talk to a friend about it they brush it off or ignore me completely, it gets to a point where I am constantly asking myself "do they hate me?" and when I ask them that same question, they get frustrated at me for saying it. I don't really ask it anymore. I'm half coming on here for advice and half coming on here to look for a way to explain how I feel. Not one of my friends understands how mental health works, not that they're dumb, they're really sweet, I guess. I just can't express how I feel without being laughed at or being made to feel insecure about my own feelings. I guess that's it for this 2am forum post. I'm really sorry if I'm disturbing you guys on this forum, it's not my intention at all, I just really need some help figuring this stuff out.