Does anyone know how to describe this..?

[that_one_quieter_kid]

Hey so, I'm new around here so mind me if I'm intruding. Does anyone know how to describe the feeling that everyone you know hates you, whether it be family, friends, it could be anyone. Am I just paranoid or is it related to how other people have treated/treat me? Honestly I feel as though I intrude on every possible thing, I feel as though I don't belong anywhere. It's not even just that, I feel as though some of those people want to take their anger out in specific ways towards me, no matter what it be. I don't know how to describe it really. Whenever I try to talk to a friend about it they brush it off or ignore me completely, it gets to a point where I am constantly asking myself "do they hate me?" and when I ask them that same question, they get frustrated at me for saying it. I don't really ask it anymore. I'm half coming on here for advice and half coming on here to look for a way to explain how I feel. Not one of my friends understands how mental health works, not that they're dumb, they're really sweet, I guess. I just can't express how I feel without being laughed at or being made to feel insecure about my own feelings. I guess that's it for this 2am forum post. I'm really sorry if I'm disturbing you guys on this forum, it's not my intention at all, I just really need some help figuring this stuff out.

[Sophie_M]

Hey that_one_quieter_kid

Welcome to the forums and thank you for your honest and open post. We can hear that you are having a really tough time at the moment, we want you to know that it is ok not to feel ok and that you have done an amazing thing by reaching out to us here on the forums. Thank you for being brave and reaching out for support, that is an incredible step towards feeling better.
We think that it would be worth giving us a call on 1300 22 4636 to talk through these thoughts and feelings. It can be scary, but out wonderful team can talk to you about strategies for when you are feeling low as well as talk about how you get other support in the community. You can also call our friends at Lifeline 13 11 14 or KidsHelpline 1800 55 1800.
If you prefer, there are also a number of webchat options if talking on the phone doesn’t work for you. They are not all 24/7 but you can check out these links if you want to try it that way:
Beyond Blue: https://online.beyondblue.org.au/WebModules/Chat/InitialInformation.aspx
KidsHelpline: https://www.kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling
Lifeline: https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/online-services/crisis-chat
We also really recommend speaking to a GP about how you are feeling too. It can be hard to open up, but they are experts in helping people to feel as well as they can. Lockdown is a really tough time and opening up to a GP is a great way to build a plan for feeling better.
Thank you again for your post today, it is an amazing thing to have done. Please feel free to update us on how you are feeling, if you are comfortable, or jump in to some other conversations on the site.
Kind regards,
Sophie M
 

[geoff]

Hello that_one_quieter_kid, and welcome to the site, you are not intruding at all, you're just wanting to ask a question and that's what this forum does, help people.

You're not the first person this has happened to, it's certainly been the situation for many of us as well, our friends and even family members can't answer questions or queries because they don't know what they should say to us or they may have made a comment without any reaction from us, so don't bother saying it again and eventually disappear, leaving us wondering what's actually happened.

This is not your fault, this illness has so many different questions all of us are seeking to find the answers to, and each situation can be totally different for everyone but on this site, there are people who have suffered from a separate illness than the person sitting next to them but want to offer their own experience to help you.

To answer your question, no, nobody hates you, they may be inexperienced to provide a solution and as soon as mental illness is mentioned, those who have not been in this situation decide to leave, it's too difficult for them to talk about.

Geoff.

[sbella02]

That_one_quieter_kid,

Thank you so much for your post, and a warm welcome to our forums. Please don't feel like you're disturbing anyone on here or intruding! We're here to chat to you and help you out. 🙂

I completely get you, those pesky 2am thoughts of people in your life hating you or not caring about you. Happens to me too often, unfortunately. I know so many other people experiencing something similar, I'm surprised it's not talked about more.

As our lovely Geoff has said, a lot of people find talking about mental health uncomfortable. People sometimes don't know how to react, or they may be scared of saying the wrong thing, or they may even have their own struggles and feel that at this time, they cannot offer you the support that you need. The perceived anger or hatred of your loved ones towards your mental health is likely a result of people's discomfort, which is not at all your fault. Like you said, your friends/loved ones may not understand how mental health works, and I would encourage you to talk more about it with them and communicate what you're feeling and how you require their support.

Would you feel comfortable confiding in a counsellor, therapist, GP, or psychologist? If you feel like this would be a viable option, I would encourage you to have a chat to somebody who may be able to offer you support and assistance on a professional level.

Just remember that you are loved and supported no matter what. We're always here to chat to you more as well, if you ever feel like you need our support and/or advice.

All the best, SB