Dealing with Daughter's Anxiety - won't take prescribed Medication

[GTH]

My 24 daughter has always suffered from a high level of anxiety and appears really effecting her ability to deal with many things in her life at present. Obviously with Covid already adding another dimension to everyone's lives, it is becoming a challenge for her to deal with trying to get a job after she has completed her Uni Studies at the end of 2020. She is also very conscious of germs or the threat of germs around her and is very concerned about being physically ill a lot of the time or worried about getting sick. She has been prescribed with some anxiety medication as a trial to see what effect it may have but basically refuses to even try because "she doesn't want the stigma of being medicated" for some reason - again i don't know why but this what she has said. My wife and i have encouraged her to try the medication but again she point blank refuses. Her struggles to find employment after many rejected applications is getting her down (totally understandable) but again with her anxiety in facing interview panels and to keep on applying in the face of reject is putting a real strain on our relationship with her. There has been many shouting matches over the last year between her and myself/wife and we always want the best for her but at times she just appears to not want to try to do things. Really getting quite concerned about how her anxiety is effecting all our lives in the house hold and wanted to see what advice to encourage her to at least try the prescribed medication - even when she has discussions with doctors, it has been difficult for her to express her true feelings and again, she is very self conscious about this year. She is normally a bright bubbly person around her friends and her sister/boyfriend but really struggles when she needs to talk to people she doesn't know in her attempts to land a job. I know it appears that i am being very judge mental and lack the understanding of what she is going through but i don't know what else to do at the moment and obviously want the best for her. Any advice would be most welcome.....

[Banksy92]

Hi GTH,

Really sorry to hear your daughter and family are going through such a tough time. I think the stigma for medication is still really strong in our community and so please know many people go through similar challenges. I myself have struggled with anxiety my whole life but never wanted to take medication for a similar reason, I also felt it would mask the issue rather than resolving it so I took a different route.

Have you considered having a conversation with your daughter about speaking to a counsellor or psychologist as an alternative? This can be a really constructive step to give her a safe space to explore and learn about her mental health and build life long tools to manage her anxiety. It may even lead her to reconsider the medication as well, depending on how she goes. Going to see a professional really changed my life and gave me so much more confidence to mange how I was feeling. Many people can benefit from it if you find someone you trust and are comfortable with.

Let us know how you go.

[Petal22]

Hi GTH,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im really sorry that your daughter and family are going through this I understand it is difficult.

I suffered with severe anxiety OCD it was a horrible condition to go through my anxiety was through the roof…….. I had horrible intrusive thoughts that would send my anxiety into severe levels….. I also had thoughts of germs and illness and other distressing thoughts…… I was stuck in a vicious cycle of OCD…… OCD is relentless until you are taught how to break free of it……

Anxiety has a way of lying to us and it doesn’t care about the things we care about…….. your daughters anxiety may be stopping her from trying to do things……. Believe me anxiety really tries to stop us…. It’s horrible…

Has your daughter been diagnosed with anything?

When I saw my gp with symptoms I was put on a antidepressant to help me manage my anxiety……. I’m so grateful for medication because without it I don’t think I would have been able to get my anxiety down on my own so I could be in the right head space to learn strategies in therapy..

My way of looking at medication is that I’m grateful that we have it the people in the old days weren’t so lucky……. Maybe you could mention this to your daughter….

Has your daughter done any therapy? I did a 8 week group therapy for my OCD I learned a lot of strategies it gave me the tools I needed to break free of the vicious cycle.

I believe medication and therapy go hand in hand.

Maybe your daughter is having trouble with interviews due to her level of anxiety, once she learns to manage it life will become easier for her…. And she can learn to manage it.

She could even do a mental health plan with her gp this will enable her to see a clinical psychologist… ask for a clinical psychologist…. The first 10 sessions are usually free.

Ive written two threads you may be interested in reading

From someone who suffered OCD and recovered

Effective treatment for OCD Metacognitive Therapy

Im not saying your daughter has this condition it’s something I was diagnosed with and have now recovered from thanks to the professional help I received. But you may be interested in reading.

Here to chat

[Summer Rose]

Hi GTH

Welcome to the bb forum. I’m sorry that your daughter is experiencing anxiety and that it’s getting in the way of her living her best life.

My daughter has anxiety and OCD, so I understand your worries and the impact of your child’s illness on the entire household. It’s tough.

Stigma is unfortunately still a powerful deterrent to taking medication for a mental health condition. I can certainly understand why you’d like her to at least try the medication, but worry that if you push too hard she’ll just get her back up. And this won’t help; but working as a united team to help her heal will help.

While medication can be very helpful to some people it’s not the only way to approach this. I think I would be having a family conversation and asking the question, “what’s the alternative?”

bb has published a booklet called “What works for anxiety” and I would encourage you to download it and have a read. It contains evidence-based information on different ways to treat anxiety.

Perhaps you could frame the discussion to emphasise that anxiety is an illness—just like any other illness—and that treatment is required, as it’s not likely to go away on its own. No one would consider not treating a heart condition, severe eczema or diabetes. Try to get her to see that anxiety is no different—it can be chronic, painful and affect one’s quality of life.

If she agrees to treatment then you can help guide her next steps. Over time you can revisit the idea of medication, if it’s necessary.

She is likely scared, tired and perhaps even ashamed—I know my daughter was. I think she needs to know that you have her back, that you understand how hard this is for her and that you know this is not her fault. Anyone can fall ill, at any time. The good news is that people can also get better.

Kind thoughts to you