Will my depression ever go away ?

[victoria97]

I've had depression for 4 years now and initially i did seek help from a psychologist but everyone around me just thought i was lying that i have depression. I'm now 18 I have no friends, im alienated from my family and most of the time I just sit at home all day. I have extreme social anxiety and the thought of even having to go to the supermarket makes me get into a panic, I feel like i can't go to a psychologist because of what happened last time I went and as well as that i cant go anywhere without my mum following me even into public toilets to wait for me, I just feel so trapped and like im just dying slowly and there's no way out. I feel like I was making progress lately doing things to make me feel even a little better and then something happened that just made me spiral back to where I started and it drove me to come to this site and do this which is a big deal because i'm usually so ashamed of what I'm going through. Will my depression ever go away or do i have to live with this ? 

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hey Victoria,

I'll just break it to you straight, depression rarely ever goes away forever. But it DOES become more manageable.

Look the good news is your still in your learning years, these are the years you learn your coping mechanisms and your triggers.

Honestly there will always come times where you feel you have hit a new all time low, but when you come out the other side of it, your stronger. The term "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" holds much more truth than people give it credit for.. Each new low you make it through, becomes a building block you will look back on it a year or two and see the way you once reacted to things changed.

Everybody comes and goes in our lives, you will make new friends, and lose some of them too. Some old friends that just faded away will fade back and then disappear again, they bounce back an forth, and you will make new best friends. New highs new lows.

Always remember, what goes up must come down, but once your down, the only way is up. It goes both ways..

Getting out and socialising is important, even if its social media, or forums, or going out shopping. Each time you do something new you do something else new, the more you do alone the more you WILL do alone, you just start small...

Try studying something your interested in, or do a little research on my favourite "Creative/Expressive Therapy" Its something you can do on your own, many activities to choose from in that field.

Don't be ashamed of what your going through, we all feel that way sometimes, but you have to push it away otherwise it makes you feel even worse.

I put it this way, it covers all of life "Being stressed stresses you out" Because being stressed or upset about something, makes you more stressed or upset with how it makes you feel, then you get stressed about that, then stressed about all the stress your under...

You see what im getting at right? Vicious circle...

Come back and talk with us whenever you need to..

NT

[_NaturalTalent_]

Also.. Go see a GP.. Tell him your situation with the psych and say you need to start smaller... Take your time...

[geoff]

dear Victoria, I'm so sorry that this is causing an enormous problem for yourself, and to answer your question maybe very hard for you to believe at the moment and that is something which I can understand, but please stay with me.

When we go through depression of any type, nothing at all seems to be possible, and that's right , because we look at everything in a negative way, so we feel as though our depression is going to be with us forever, and that's exactly what happens, however we can overcome our depression even though we still have it.

All of this sounds to be ridiculous, maybe, but what happens is that we learn on how to avoid situations and people who had originally brought us to get depression, and believe it is that we become a stronger person, however for me to try and convince you now may seem to be impossible, but it's a slow process with help and support you will learn on how to do this.

If someone told me, and actually my psychologist kept telling me that I will get better, when I was deeply depressed, I never believed her, but I always trusted her, but it took many years for me to overcome my own depression, so she was right.

Depression never leaves us once we have it, but that doesn't mean that I can't get on with my life, and if I was still depressed there is no way I would be replying here on this site. Geoff. x

[Ladyhawke]

Hi victoria97.  It's a really positive step for you to reach out to other people for advice or help. There is no need to feel ashamed about your situation; everyone who contributes to these discussions has been through some sort of difficulty; many very similar to your own.

I have experienced severe, debilitating anxiety since I was five years old. I have also experienced bouts of depression since the age of nine or ten.  I did not seek help until my mid-30s when I spoke to my GP who referred me to a psychiatrist. This made an enormous difference in my life. I took a long time to seek treatment because I was ashamed, felt like a failure and didn't want to believe I had a mental health issue. I now regret that I didn't act sooner because life would have been much easier. I wouldn't have woken up every morning feeling sick with anxiety; sometimes shaking, sometimes vomiting. I could have avoided, or at least, learned how to cope with anxiety and panic attacks when I was in public. I need not have spent years trying to cope with debilitating depression alone which prevented me from participating in normal, everyday activities.  When I finally did seek help in my mid-30s, it was not by choice; I had become very ill and could barely function.

There are so many people dealing with severe anxiety and depression; you are not alone. It is unlikely your situation will improve unless you seek help again. Don't worry about past experiences or what other people think. I realise this is a difficult concept, but ultimately you are the one suffering not the other people.

I really urge you to speak to your GP and tell him/her exactly how you feel. Don't be ashamed; GPs deal with these issues every day. Ask him/her to refer you to a psychologist or other mental healthcare professional. If you can't travel alone, ask a family member to go with you; you can then speak to the doctor alone. Don't hesitate because of past negative experiences; I saw three psychiatrists before I found one I felt was a good "fit" for me and I have been seeing him weekly for 14 years.

The first step is usually the hardest. There is a great deal of professional help available if you need it. Feel free to contact me if i can help you further. 

Best wishes and good luck.

LH

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Victoria97,

Thanks for reaching out.

I think the question that you asked is a great one, and my answer to this is : sort of.

Everyone is different, but for me, depression means prolonged sadness, withdrawing from friends and family, not engaging in conversations or hobbies, feeling physically ill/sore and having lots of negative thoughts.  I think as we (in general) get to know our depression better, we know what our triggers are - how we know we aren't doing so well, when we start thinking negatively, when we start withdrawing from people.  This can often be a cue to go to therapy or do something proactive so that instead of feeling like we're sinking - we notice it and start to get a little better.

Depression and recovery from depression is never easy, and it's never straight.  There will always be good days and bad days.  But over time, and with therapy and techniques from therapy - we'll know how we can turn our bad days into not so bad days, and have more good days.

So for me, I don't think my depression will ever go away - but there will be moments where I don't notice it.  There will be moments where it doesn't affect my life.

Hope this helps,

[victoria97]

Thankyou for your help I guess I really needed to see this because you do sort of isolate yourself and it become "your illness" and in a way it is but there's so many people suffering and so many people that can help and you know that but sometimes it's so hard and I did need to hear what you had to say and it's helped me a lot thankyou, I've booked an appointment with my gp next week ! 

[victoria97]

Thankyou for your insight, coming on here as made me see how many people like yourself have gotten through your dark days and still fight them and it was something I really needed so thankyou it does mean a lot 

[victoria97]

Thankyou very much it has helped a great lot all of what I've read here and I'm glad I took the initiative and built up the courage to face my depression and what depression is generally, hearing from real life experiences and people who do and have felt the same is what I've needed because for so long I've had to explain to people who don't understand depression and anxiety what I'm feeling and I've felt so alone , this has been great for me, Thankyou a lot x