What it feels like to be 'hated'

Yutong_G · ‎15-08-2022

My name is Yutong, and I am in year 7. I am writing this post while bored in a Geography lesson and when my friends are talking, laughing, and discussing things together without me. Earlier during this lesson one of the borrowed a sharpener and pencil and broke them. That really infuriated me. That is it. They literallly depended on my stationery, and targeted my when borrowing things. Enough is enough. If this was the first time someone borrowed my things and broke them, I wouldn't be that mad. But when I saw my broken sharpener and pencils, my blood pressure increased, and I felt really mad. I threw my pencil case onto the ground and said that I swear for my life that I will never bring my pencil case to school again. But my friends just had a good chortle and asked me to give it to them if I didn't want it.

At the start of this lesson one of my friends asked my other friends to go to the bathroom together. She asked everyone BUT me. They left without even looking at me. After they came back, they conntinued discussing about their work. I tried to ask them to join in, but they pretended that I was invisible. After less than three minutes they finished the task becasue they were helping each other (many hands make light work), and they went to the teacher. My teacher praised them and gave them a certificate for working together well as I watched them sadly. And when my teacher asked why I didn't finish my work, I told her my whole story. My teacher didn't help me, and gave me a lunchtime detention.

I already have some mild COVID-19 symptoms. All of this just made them worse, and I now feel more sick than ever. I tried to message my mum, but my phone went flat. Suddenly I feel like that I was rejected by the whole world. I opened Kids Helpline for some advice but to my shock and anger our school had blocked it. Are there any other places where I can get help from at school?

Anyway, thank you for reading!

Sweetz · ‎15-08-2022

Hi Yutong_G

Hope you are ok. Just reaching out. I would ask your friends if you have done anything wrong in the first place that u are unware of? Sometimes others act out against you as you have done something to them that you may not even be aware of. get their point of view as to they they behaved like that. I do know Sometimes they just pick on you for no reason, but make sure you find out why in a way that is safe for you to do so. If you do not like conflict, you can go to the school's counsellor this helps in any circumstances and they may provide some helpful information and direction. I would ask your teacher if you can chat to them at a time that works best for you and start to say how you feel that the detention that is given that you feel it is unfair and say your side of the story and how you feel. If your teacher won't listen then go to the head teacher, or Principal.

Do not feel discouraged in times like this as some of us have been there. It is what we do in this moment that gives us a strong can do attitude to try and solve our own problems in a positive way and reaching out for help to guide us along the way. Also circumstances/problems exist to teach us, help make us confident and to strengthen us. In this case your learning about friendships and your boundaries and what you will and will not accept. Make sure you have positive clear boundaries around you that way you are teaching others how you would like to be treated. Hope you start to make friends that have respect for you and your belongings.

Sophie_M · ‎15-08-2022

Hi Yutong_G, We’re sorry to hear what’s going on, and that you’ve not felt understood when talking to your teachers or classmates. That sounds really difficult and isolating. We’re really glad you could share this here though. Hopefully, we’ll hear from a member of this amazing community, once someone spots your post. In the meantime, we wanted to let you know that there’s a few places you can reach out to, whenever you need to talk things through and get some ideas for how you can get some better support. What sort of supports do you have that you trust at the moment? Is there a school counsellor that you can speak to or your parents? There’s our friends over at KidsHelpline on 1800 55 1800 as you’ve said you tried online but was unfortunately blocked by your school, so perhaps try when you are home from school! Otherwise headspace are avilable on 1800 650 890 or on their website. Please know that the Beyond Blue counsellors are here for you as well, and you can reach us on 1300 22 4636 or online anytime if you feel like talking it through. Thanks again for posting here. It must have taken a lot of strength to share this but you never know who will read this post and feel less alone in their own experience.

Kind regards, 
Sophie M