University, panic and agoraphobia

[Blue_Velvet_skies]

Hi BB,

Thought I'd start a new thread about anxiety and panic for students. I'm hoping that others can empathise and that I'm not alone! 

In the past I have had traumas and severe mental health issues but through intensive therapy was finally feeling better. Last year my brother was in an accident which has thrown me back into my struggles with anxiety and panic as it has brought up a lot of past trauma for me. I am currently a full time uni student and cannot get to my tutorials or appointments as I avoid leaving the house. My panic often sets in for no reason at all and it is severely affecting my well being and study. I have already missed many tutorials and every day feels like a battle against my own mind and my own thoughts. I know it has to pass at some point but when?! I am increasingly frustrated by the avoidance cycle I have fallen into. Today it was even a struggle to go to the shops. I feel like my university experience has not been as it should be... It's a constant battle with my mental health. If I'm not studying I get bored, I need the intellectual stimulation and the routine and sense of achievement. I want to and need to finish this degree to prove to myself that I can do it and that I am better but at times I wonder if I can handle it? I know I have the intelligence to do it, but my anxiety just seems to be consuming. Has anyone else had experience with this? I do not want to drop a unit for fear of feeling like a failure, but I may have to, which in itself makes me feel on the verge of panic. I am waiting to see the uni doctors to apparently get medicated for my panic and agoraphobia so I am hoping with all of my heart that this, along with seeing the unicouncillor  will turn my semester around.. But is it too late?! Ahhh 

kind words would be greatly appreciated. Thanks xx

[Neil_1]

Dear BVS

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing this post of your most recent struggles.

Yes yes and yes are some of the answers I can let you know with regard to things you’ve been feeling and how you’ve been.  You are DEFINITELY NOT alone with these thoughts/feelings/issues.

I’m so pleased to read at the bottom of your post that you are due to see a doctor at some stage (soon, I hope) and I guess going hand-in-hand with that, there’s been arranged for you to see a Uni counsellor as well.  Good – GREAT – very very positive steps.

Taking on a Uni degree, the study, commitment and all else that it entails is something that takes a hell of a lot of intelligence, inner strength, determination and ability in order to achieve what you are shooting for.  So what I’m channeling you towards here is that in NO WAY will you be, or are you a failure.

At the moment, you are doing your very best to achieve the goals you’ve been setting for yourself, whilst battling with mental health issues.  To me, I can only bow to people who are doing their bit at Uni, to better themselves and earn themselves a degree – but when I hear of someone who is doing that very thing BUT has to do it while battling a mental health issue, I not only bow, but I get down on my knees and bow as well.  Mega kudos to you BVS.

I don’t know how much longer you’ve got to go to complete your Degree – but hey, if you feel that you really need to drop a Unit at some stage, in order to look after your own wellness, then that is totally acceptable. Totally.  Your health and wellbeing is the Number One object of importance here.  Other things can just go on the back-burner while we attend to getting you feeling better.

Would love to hear back from you on this also.

Kind regards

Neil

[BenD]

Hi BVS,

I've been in a very similar situation to you, sometimes I'd drive to uni and then turn around and go home because I was too anxious to actually turn up to class.

If you are going full time maybe it might be good for your health to drop 1 unit and in that spare time focus on getting better? Exercising, writing in a diary, going through these forums or even just focusing on life outside uni for a little bit every day can be quite helpful. Uni is one of those experiences that follows you around night and day so it can be hard to power down sometimes.

One last thing regarding avoiding uni - someone on here explained to me that one of the great things about universities is that they are places that everyone can be accepted for who they are. It's different to going to work because there you have to conform to narrowly defined, set standards.

Be good to hear from you again,

Ben

[cat005]

This thread is exactly what I need to see right now. You are 100% not alone in this and thank you for helping me be convinced I'm not either. I am in my 5th year of a 4 year degree and anxiety is in full swing. I am struggling to make classes and complete assignments even though I love what I'm studying and enjoy the work. It is so crippling and feels so external to who I am. In the past week I have driven to uni twice, had an anxiety attack and cried in the toilets/car before turning around and going home. I don't know how to explain it to everyone because it can really come across as laziness to others.