Teen pregnancy

[Hope1dream2]

During pregnancy I was perfectly fine with studies I studied well kept my head in the game but after having a baby it feels like everything is falling apart. I can't focus on anything, I don't even see the future I wanted in reach anymore and have so much stress. I feel like just giving up. I don't feel like I can confide in my parents or anyone, there's so much bottled up inside, I just can't deal with taking care for a 4 month old and at the same time having to study is just troubling me. I am so close to graduating but I fear that I won't reach there, the motivation I had to study is no longer there.. even my grades have dropped. I just don't know what to do, everything is falling apart, I just feel like I cannot cope with all of this. The only pathway left seems like the one of giving up, is there anything I can do to bring my motivation and hopes up again? To come back into my aim?

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[Kitty_Kat]

Hi Hope1dream2,

I'm sure you've been told this already, but having a baby is a big responsibility, especially at your age. Do you have support from your parents and the babies other parent? If not, I suggest you reach out to them, unless they are terrible people of something! You should tell them you are struggling and ask for there advice and care.

I'd also suggest ringing up BeyondBlue as the call services are open 24/7 and it would be like seeing a psychologist but free!

 Good Luck,

Love Kitty xxx

[Doolhof]

Hi Hope,

I'm not sure what advice the Beyond Blue team have suggested to you, but I do hope that it has been helpful to you.

Does the place where you are studying have a counsellor available or some kind of support person you can talk to?

Can you go to your Dr and ask him/her if they have any suggestions of people and resources you can utilise to help you?

Do you have some friends who can look after your baby even for a couple of hours so you can have a bit of respite? Are your parents supportive?

Do you have siblings who may be able to help out? Sometimes it is hard to ask for the help that we need. Once you have managed to do that a few times, then it will become easier.

It must be a huge effort looking after a baby and trying to study at the same time if you have little support. I hope you are able to reach out to the people around you and they will be there to help you.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Mike_101]

Hi Hope

Study and raising babies are probably two of the hardest things a person can do - let alone at the same time. Is there a reason you feel you can't confide in your parents, if they were against the pregnancy then after the initial "I told you so" lecture then they might be able to be more supportive of your current situation. If they weren't against the pregnancy then I'm sure your putting too much pressure on yourself in trying to do everything alone, so they will probably be more than happy to help.

If your parents were against the pregnancy then it will be harder for you to ask for them for help, but in the long run it will be better for your own health and your own piece of mind. Yes sometimes asking for help is the hardest part, however it doesn't sound like they don't want anything to do with the baby or with you, it more sounds like you feel you can't confide in them for other reasons. If you don't know how to approach it - start by saying yes they were right but now you need their help (you can even zone out while they lecture you if it helps). Overall however asking for help can't be any worse of a feeling than your already feeling now.

In regards to school - I'm not sure which level your at but most universities and schools are adaptable when it comes to time frames and study. I know in university they are usually quite explicit in allowing extensions to assignments and assessments. If you requested an extension they usually allow a 48 hour extension without any medical referrals and longer extensions with Dr. slips or similar reasons. Depression and family troubles were also taken into account and valid reasons for extensions.

So talking to your teacher, or lecturer and asking for extensions may help relieve some of the pressure of your studies which might help give you extra reading time or finishing an assignment. If you feel like things are falling apart, before giving up you can try just moving the time frame back a little. While it's obviously not ideal your goals today can still be your goals, just delayed a little. On a brighter note if your grades have dropped it just means your a good mother and putting your baby first.

Try not to put so much pressure on yourself, your little one might be a handful now with your studies, but in the long run it will all be worth it.

Kind regards
Mike

[Dreams_Are_Free]

Hey Hun,

I can't imagine how hard it must be for you with trying to do everything at your age. But look at the positives, your baby has a mother who didn't just give up on her life when she got pregnant young, she was strong and continued with her life and most importantly her/your studies. you can do it. Your child will be so proud of what you have achieved, as will you and everyone around you.

don't be afraid to ask for help and seek for services or people that may be able to help you out for a bit. 🙂 you'll get there, and at the end you will look back at what you've achieved and aim for the next thing!!