Struggling with uni, work and pressure

[May22]

I'm currently at uni and recently I've been feeling really hopeless. I work a lot and have class 5 days and the pressure of that and study and trying to worry about social expectations is weighing me down.

 I get really lonely a lot but I have quite a few 'friends'. Everything is just getting a bit much lately and I have a friend I can talk to but I'm weighing them down and I can't do that. It's not fair to them. i don't know what to do... I want to help myself without getting anyone else involved but I'm struggling. 

m

[Zeal]

Hi May,

I’m also at uni full-time, but I only work for several hours two afternoons a week babysitting. It sounds like you might be overloading yourself with commitments. Is it possible for you to work less hours? I know some people need to work a certain amount due to the specific job position, or for financial reasons.

It can be hard to maintain balance whilst studying. I’d recommend making an appointment with your uni counselling service. This should be free, and will allow you to talk freely to someone about how you’re feeling and what you need help with. These uni services are there to be used by students, and everything is completely confidential. I know this from personal experience at my uni – all Australian universities should have these types of support.

It’s good that you don’t want to overwhelm your friend with your struggles. Striking a balance between confiding in your friend, and listening to what’s going on with them is important, as you know. This is why seeing a counsellor at uni is a great idea. It will be convenient, as you can make an appointment when you know you’ll already be at uni.

In addition, you could see your GP about a referral to a counsellor, but this is your choice. It doesn’t sound like you have a mental health condition (which is great), but you are clearly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work and commitments in your life.

Good luck with restoring the balance 🙂

SM

[BenD]

Hi May,

Students get a pretty rough ride despite some circles suggesting otherwise. You've gotta earn money to live, while at the same time studying and challenging your brain everyday to absorb copious amounts of information. As well as this, being a young and fairly sociable person you also feel obliged to hang out with friends whenever you are not busy with work or study.

It sounds like you have are neglecting of 'me-time' (or 'May-time', if you will). That's time that you spend just simply zoning out doing things completely unrelated to work, uni or social obligations. The only obligation is to yourself. You do whatever you want to do, be it sleep, read a book, or watch a TV show ("House of Cards" is my current getaway 😉

It's admirable and very selfless of you to put lots of stuff and people before you, but eventually you burnout and it becomes unsustainable.

As for 'weighing down' your friend, I don't think you should be feel guilty about doing so. If they are really your friend then they understand. If you still feel hesitant about discussing things with them my advice would be to talk to your family if you feel comfortable to do so, keep posting on here and use the online counseling services available as well. It really is a great community.

Just remember that you deserve more of that 'me-time' to do whatever it is you want, with no obligations to anyone other than yourself. After all, you can't help anyone else until you've helped yourself first.

Ben 🙂

[HorrorHead]

Hi May,

I can completely empathise with your situation. I work full time and attend uni on a part time basis. As my goals are to be accepted into honours and eventually take a research based study path, my study requires many hours and dedication.

 At the same time I'm rolling out a large system implementation and, as project manager, all problems go through me. 

 Both the personal expectations of achieving high grades and the expectations of delivering a successful project are weighing me down also.

 I don't know about you, but it drives me nuts when people simply reply with 'You're just taking too much on'. If you're anything like me you take on this work load because you're ambitious and want success. Besides, have you noticed how bad TV is lately? What else are we gonna do?

If you don't mind I would like to extend upon your question and ask the wider community whether they employ any strategies to be able to achieve this high work load and not let the anxiety get to you?

I'm suffering quite badly with anxiety and depression right now which means I have a tremendously tough time with my concentration levels. Writing assignments for uni, and reports for work, take too much time which adds to the pressure which compounds the anxiety.

 It all makes me question my capabilities which does nothing for my self confidence or depression. 

It seems as though others can achieve success when all I do is seem to struggle. 

May, I may not be able to offer any help, but I hope it helps to know you're not the only one who suffers like this. 

 Good luck with your studies!