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Struggling connecting with people in general
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Hi
My names Jim, I’ve just come to Australia on a WHV. On paper I should be over the moon with they way everything is going but I just can’t seem to connect with people on any level, I feel quite lost to be honest, and feel I can’t talk anyone with real any substance.
I don’t feel I’ve got anything to say either. I’ve become a bit mute and quiet at time's, only speaking when I’m spoken to, not really having much in the way of a response a lot of the time.
It’s getting worse and I’m struggling to stop it spiralling in to a bit of dispare, I know it’s down to my confidence and lack in there of, god knows i’m trying to get a hand on it too, not even sure that this is the correct place to be putting this out.
I’m really not sure about anything anymore, constant indecision.
There’s probably lots of things I should do but I can’t even get out of the gate with one.
I suppose I wouldn’t mine knowing if anyone else feels this way, I’m sure people do. Maybe any tips of how to deal with it a bit better than I am
currently. Thanks to anyone who does take the time to read this anyway and comment if they’ve got the time.
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Hi there Jim and sorry to hear about things. Been in Oz long or ? Also wondering if you normally have those personality tendencies or is that just been bc of how things are going or ?
At any rate, it can be a weird thing , for me anyway too. l think in passing or even in a work situation, people do often tend to just go for something quick, easy, light and they're on their way.
Me that actually suits me really bc l don't like becoming too involved in convo just in passing or whatever. Might be bad time or l'm in a hurry or just not in the mood or l just don't feel any connection with that person , don't even know them or whatever.
l've been away 5wks or so just lately myself , just caravaning but in all honesty, don't think l've had a convo with anyone yet, cept just quick stuff in shops or so.
Been weird really bc although there's been people around where l've stayed, they're usually with others or away from where l am of whatever . Haven't used caravan parks but nope, not a soul really. Only convos l've had are in calls with people at home so l know how you feel , starting to feel weird myself.
Personally l feel in these quieter times through life we just have to hold onto who we are and for the right people to come along well, that's the way l try to go anyway. The town l just left lived there nearly 9yrs hardly had any people stuff at all there in all that time. Shops and things were about it really, just not my people really.
All the best anyway and l hope things start looking up soon.
rx
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Hi Jim. I can relate to having become quiet or mute in social situations. I struggle to find a response for most small talks (even with people I am fond to) and it gets quickly tiring for me to find something to reply with each time someone starts a conversation. I recently looked up on the word Selective Mutism. I found it a bit therapeutic. I also think it is weirdly therapeutic to converse with animals with body languages, like slowly blinking eyes with my house cat.
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Hello,
Recently someone suggested I try Meetup. It is an app that has alot of social groups or events on it. That may be a way to connect with people on a social level.
I so far have tried meetings on Zoom. It is a 1st step to meeting people in person. Perhaps you could give that a try. There are social groups with so much variety/multiculturalism/passions/interests and even support groups for many different conditions.
But only do things that you are comfortable with.
Hope this may be helpful,
ABC01