reaching out

[yesican128]

Hey there,

I've been struggling with depression on and off for the past two years and I've never really been able to open up to people about it. I've been wanting to tell my close friends for a while now but I'm just not sure how to bring it up. I really need to talk to someone and not being able to has been causing me some anxiety, so thought I'd reach out on here instead. 

[Narniakid]

Hey yesican128, welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing with us!

It is wonderful to hear you have decided to reach out here for some support; the forums offer lots of advice, as well as the resources beyondblue provides, which are well worth a read, and you can even have them sent out to you in the mail free of charge!

Have you considered seeing a therapist or psychologist? Talk therapy with a professional can be extremely helpful if you are willing to open up to them. While we are always more than happy to listen and assist you as much as possible, a professional has the skills to pick up your negative thinking habits and other areas that you can work on with them.

Don't be afraid of telling the people around you how you are feeling - after all, they will not change their behaviour if they do not know! More often than not, their reaction is supportive and caring, and it is important to have that network around you during recovery.

Remember that negative thoughts are just reactions to fear and anxiety thrives on avoidance.

Crystal

[-headintheclouds-]

Hey.

im in a situation like yesican128, where i cant really tell anyone

you say that people cant change their action unless we reach out to them, but ive been depressed for about a year and a half, and though i just recently worked up enough courage to tell my parents, they havent changed. not one bit. i have a bad day where i feel like im drowning, and they yell at me for it. i tell them i need help, that i want help, and they say im fine, that im just tired.

they searched through the history on my laptop and found i was messaging the counselors on this site, and they went crazy. saying im just wasting their time when they could be saving someone's life, and then confiscated my laptop, only giving it back to me for school. i fell and drowned so bad [not literally, its how i explain my mood] for a month.

they still havent changed, and im not getting any better.

how can i tell them when they cant hear my cries?

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hey Yesican,

Love the name and congrats on reaching out. Everyone needs someone to talk to, but not everyone has someone in their life to talk to, so great move!

I highly recommend starting with a GP, explain your situation and listen to what they have to say. First reaction to your circumstance is usually medication or a psych, I myself find this more of a desperation move, I have been there but sometimes you just need reassurance that, like, your not a pathetic human being... If that makes sense..

Often a GP will be willing to take on somewhat of a counselling role, if you find the right ones, but will still always mention that youd be better off with a psych or actual councillor. However it is very rare a GP will deny your 'business' so to say lol.

Once you feel comfortable talking to a GP, which usually happens pretty quickly if you have a good relationship, that is the time to spread out further to friends and family, just start small, don't give everything to one person as this may leave you feeling like your life is in their hands, this is not so concerning with a GP..

Practise makes perfect in all things, start small and work your way up. But even the smallest actions such as coming here can start you on the right path to feeling better. In order to see people care for us we must first allow them to..

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hey -headintheclouds- its great to see you back!

Parents are often a struggle to get on your side in these situations, especially if they are set in their ways or from the generation of 'Get over it and get it done' or are heavily religious.

You need to give them some time to adjust to you having issues, or accept that its not their fault you have issues. I have seen that reaction many times, where parents learn their child has an issue and automatically feel to blame and get overly defensive or sometimes even abusive. There are MANY people out there who don't believe in depression also, this is a battle!

As for them having a go at you and saying your wasting time... Well that's just NOT true at all... And I would suggest quoting this to them 'Would you prefer I waste a single moment of someone's time, or feel like ending my life' I tell you what their jaws will hit the deck and you can just walk away and leave them with that thought!

You need to get into a GP, if you require your parents help with this, fake a sickness like flu etc, and when you walk in to the doctors room, spit the truth out... Get your GPs backing and force your parents to see the issue.

If they still try to say 'Your just tired' and stuff like that, tell them you want a break then, you get to have a break and they get to see their wrong when that doesn't 'fix' you...Tell them the way their treating you is not helping and is actually making you feel weaker and worse!

You need to take your life into your own hands! No matter what age you are! Which is worse? A short period of fear and pain to become better, or a long period of sadness lethargy and more that will leave you on scarred and spiteful towards them?

Too many people are scared of what others think or feel, it is a great quality to be CONSIDERATE of others feelings and opinions (which they are not being), but it is a truly damaging quality to allow yourself to be told what to believe and how to behave, you will end up allowing yourself to be oppressed and controlled the rest of your life...

A message to both of you here - Stand up and take control, no one survives this world alone and their IS light at the end of the tunnel, stop letting yourself believe that light is the lamp of an oncoming train!!!