new member ?

[loouuiiee]

Hi there 

im unsure if I'd class myself as a 'new' member but I'm defiantly inexperienced.. I've visited the site a few times, I read quite a few threads, but I'm a little shy so quite often I don't post.

I'm a 23year old female with anxiety & depression. my psychologist believes I also have borderline personality disorder & is planning on testing me for this.

Despite being only young I have had my fair share of tough experiences & been in many harmful situations and relationships. 

I live alone & have been feeling really down because I get so lonely & just want kind, honest people to talk to & to offer me their advice. 

 i have never had a problem with making friends but because I've had such an unstable past I have so much trouble keeping friends. 

im a very generous, sweet natured person.

i work with kids and I love my job. 

I also love animals & being outdoors.

Anyone who has similar interests or experiences to myself I would love to hear from you please 🙂

 Thankyou xx

[Fairywings]

Hi gorgeous girl everything u ask for in a person i am it and guess what i love kids and animals and i love being outside.  Don't ever feel afraid to post stuff on here u will never be judged and you are completely safe.  We r going to get along like a house on fire lol just want to c u happy again.  Im 15yrs older than ursrlf am a mum to a beautiful baby boy and i have very young at heart and very down to earth sort of girl.  I studied to be ac youth worker and a child care worker so u can tell i love working with infants and young people ur age.  Ive always loved my work and that why im here talking to you for this very same reason. I think being tested is a good thing bc it will give u a sense of closure and help u to understand how u can help yourself.  The fact that you are working and keeping busy is a great thing for you to be doing in time it will help you to gain some clarity in ur life.  I have a very dark past but im still here helping beautiful girls like yourself giving them hope and inspiration in their lives to keep moving forward in life.  Always happy to talk and have a chat stay safe xxoo 😊😊

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Loouuiiee,

I am new to this site too and I just wanted to say hi and let you know how warm and friendly everyone is here.  It's nice to have a safe place to have a chat and be yourself.

I am 41 and have recently been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and am getting help from a variety of sources including a psychologist like you.

When I was your age I had experienced a lot of hard times and troubled relationships too. I also lived alone for a while and I know that it get feel very lonely especially in the evenings. 

I have 3 children the youngest is 3. I also love animals and I am hoping to get a dog when I am doing better. 

I have a good circle of friends and am normally their go-to person but I am finding that hard at the moment so I am trying to get in touch with people here and share where I can.

I am sure you will feel less lonely soon with all the wonderful people here.  Happy to chat anytime.  

Warm regards

Lost Girl

[loouuiiee]

Hi Fairy Wings & Lost Girl,

Thankyou so much for responding! it helps to make me feel as though I am not so alone 🙂

I am hoping to do a night course (Cert.IV youth work) this year or next year so that I can continue working where I am currently but also get some knowledge and pursue my interests as it is my goal one day to be well enough & have the experience to help other young people who are going though, or have been through tough times. I am a teacher's aide & my work involves working with children & teenagers in particular. Some of which are from disadvantaged backgrounds & some who have mental health issues of their own. I'm hoping it will give me some useful new knowledge & also it is an area I have been interested in for a long time now. 

I guess on this site I am looking for people who have experience and can be a listener & offer me the wisdom of what they have learnt on their journey & offer me advice if they think I need it.  sometimes I need a kick up the bum, a reminder that your past doesn't define you, and to be steered in the right direction 🙂 once I'm on the right path I go at things like a bull at a gate & don't give up until I am happy that I have achieved my goals. Ive never been a quitter, but sometimes I feel like I'm just running in circles.

Being outdoors & alone with nature helps me to calm down and relax. I find animals healing as they love unconditionally and are unbelievably loyal. I think getting a dog once you are ready is a fantastic idea!!! can I suggest that you adopt one from a rescue centre? Not only will the dog be a companion for you, but you will be saving the life of your new friend also 🙂 

I'm so grateful that I have found two people I can talk to who know what depression & anxiety feel like & have similar interests to myself.

Thankyou again so so much 🙂 hope to hear from you soon ❤️

[Fairywings]

Hi beautiful girl im so glad in found you too. That's great news about pesuing a youth work course u would be fantastic at it as u have the life experience behind you.  Ur past helps you become a much stronger person and i totally agree with you it never ever defines a person.  I admire the way you take life by the horns i do too it takes guts but it is very helpful.  You should be proud of yourself u will be an amazing youth worker and a beautiful inspiration for the people involved in these forums.  Im grateful that i found you to hunny and so glad i was able to inspire you and allowing you to see that there is light at the end of the dark tunnel and that beautiful things happen when u refuse to give up xx so happy u reached out to us. You are never alone here.  Little tip im an earth angel so in nature is where i belong too. 😊😇

[Lost_Girl]

Hi again,

I was really excited to read about your goal. I think it's really important to have something to aim for and you've got that. Well done!  Continuous learning is a good thing. Hopefully you'll meet some great people along the way too. You mentioned earlier that you make friends easily but have problems keeping the friendships. Did you want to share a little about that? Sometimes it helps to talk things through. Only if you want to.

Working with others who have their own troubles can also be tough emotionally so I am glad to hear you have some mechanisms that work for helping with your anxiety and depression. Do you have any animals of your own?

I love the outdoors too, I think there's something very naturally calming about being somewhere away from the hustle and bustle.

I have very bad allergies to animals so I have to be very particular about what breed but I will definitely try to rescue one first. We have 2 guinea pigs that we rescued through RSPCA and the kids love them. They give me hives though so I can't hold them for long. 

Looking forward to chatting with you,

Carol

[loouuiiee]

Lost Girl I'm sorry to hear about your allergies restricting your time with your pets! I bet your kids are good little helpers & give the Guinea pigs lots of cuddles & attention though :)I have a black dwarf rabbit. She is 5 human years old. I got her when I was going through a particularly dark time and she has been my motivation to not give up ever since. I have a strong desire to look after my pets & this motivates me to also care for myself out of fear that if something were to happen to me that my pets will suffer. I have an 8 month old baby long neck turtle also <3I would love to have a dog, a cat & maybe even some farm animals one day.I have not lived at home since I was 15 when my parents threw me out. Since then I've lived with various ex boyfriends. A few of these (including my most recent ex) were controlling. The most recent ex was extremely controlling & emotionally and financially abusive. Before him I had trouble keeping friends because I moved around so much. I've lived in almost every area of the northern and western suburbs of Melbourne including Geelong. I've moved up & back inbetween relationship break ups & my parents saying I can come home & then them changing their minds & throwing me out again. I come from a divorced/re-married blended family & it has been hard for me to deal with since my parents first separated when I was 4years old as my parents do not get along and my mother punished me for wanting to maintain contact with my father since she was granted full custody of me & wanted me to accept her new husband (my stepdad) as my father & never see or speak to my real father ever again. Anyway, the point is; I have little to no support from my family & I have been on the move since I was 15. I never seem to be able to stay in the same place no matter how much I want to or how hard I try!its hard to keep in contact with friends when you are always moving, always stressed & always having a hard time.Ive been told my unstable life was a burden for anyone I befriended & I guess many were not mature enough or simply didn't understand what I was going through & found myself & the situation confronting or daunting.in the past two years I lost all contact with everyone as my ex was so controlling & I allowed him to manipulate me into not talking to anyone except him! Ive made a few new friends through work however, I don't want to talk about personal things with my colleagues.

[loouuiiee]

I'd love to have friends I can go on weekend adventures with such as camping trips, horse riding ranches, drives to the beach, or even just trying out different restaurants or catching up for coffee/tea occasionally. I'm sure I'll find friends I can do this with eventually. But I need to make sure my life is stable for once before I do anything else!

[Lost_Girl]

Hi,

They sound like wonderful things to aim for.  You are so right though about your health and well-being coming first.  Everything else can come in good time.

I have been enjoying this weekend having my kids around. My youngest two are big into arts and craft and my 3 year old keeps bringing me random creations where he has cut and glued coloured paper. I love how enthusiastically he announces what it is, "it's a chicken!". 

Take care,

Carol

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Loouuiiee,

I am sorry to hear you've had such a hard time with moving around and with your relationships.  I really relate to this but unlike you I had my parents support, though my Dad was my Mum's second husband and she had a child from her first. 

I moved out of home at 16 as I used to get travel sick. I flatted with friends then moved in with a boyfriend. I moved through a few relationships and moved in and out of places like you. I had different friends at different times and found it hard to keep strong friendships just like you. I too had one relationship with a guy who was controlling and he even tried to suicide in front of me. I lived in a womens shelter for a short time then moved home to my parents when I got up the courage to tell them I had failed or so I felt. 

However, I then got a job, saved some money, met a nice guy. Yhen my Dad died of cancer and I knew I eanted something better for myself. My boyfriend and I moved to another state. I got a new job, new friends a new life and I have never told any of my friends about all of that hardship...just about losing my Dad.  I have quite a few very close friends that I could tell all of this to now if I wanted but I really don't feel I need to know. It felt so hurtful and so hard at the time but I am ok now..better than ok and I know that in time you will be too because I've been there.

Is is possible for you to develop friendships with your work mates without telling them all of your hardships? I truly found it worked for me. It felt like a whole new life, one I chose. 

This is a great forum where we can talk about what you've been through. You can always feel safe and listened to here.

I hope sharing my story has helped a little.

Your rabbit sounds gorgeous and I love little turtles.  My kids are great with our guinea pigs and my hubby too. I think they think my hubby is their Mum.

Take care,

Carol