Metaphorical frying pan

[Bella_bee]

Hi, I’m new.

I graduated last year and I turn 18 in two weeks. I’m not going to uni until next year since I wasn’t up to snuff physically to get into the Air Force. I work everyday at the local grocery store, and I was bullied in high school. I only have one close friend and they are out of town. I’m lonely, I cut off all ties with everybody, and I’m supposed to be somebody by now.

I feel like this is what it’s going to be like forever, and that terrifies me. I tried to date someone and I try to talk to people because I’m very out going, but I’m terrified because my last relationship and close friendships ended up being abusive. I don’t want to go to a dark place again, but I feel like my life is stagnant while everyone leaves me behind. I expected more for myself, not sitting alone every night.

I don’t know where to go from here.. I’m tired of being sad and scared all the time. Is it normal to feel like this? What can I do to fix this and mature?

[startingnew]

hi Bella Bee and welcome to the forums

your sounding pretty isolated right now, have you heard of a site called meetup? they have heaps of groups that you could join in you just search your area on the site and see what pops up, they ahve social groups, mh groups, interest groups all sorts really. maybe that could be some help?

hat about trying to find a new job and get out there more, or possibly doing part time study through tafe?

have you got family that you could speak too? or possibly speak to your gp for extra support? they are also able to perform a mental health assessment and refer you to other services.

headspace could also be another place for you to try, they have onsite gps, psychologists, psychiatrists and also run social groups and outings too

hope this helps somewhat,please feel free to keep talking here

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Bella bee,

Thanks for your post.

Sounds like you're struggling and I'm sorry that you're feeling this way.

You're telling us in your post that you're supposed to be somebody and how do you be more mature - but the way I see it, you're already somebody and you're already mature. Going to uni or going to the airforce doesn't make someone a somebody. It doesn't make them more or less worthy than the next person. Personally I think that's the biggest illusion when you're just out of high school - you're still a somebody.

I don't know much about you but I can see that you're driven - being in the airforce is no walk in the park so wanting to do that I think makes you very committed to your future and making a plan for it.

I also think that you're resilient as all hell because your last relationship and friends were abusive. I know a lot of people who would really shut down after this - potentially not even seeing a future for themselves and feeling hopeless.

I'm telling you all this (big rant!) because allowing yourself to be more and do more things really starts with you. You may have been shut down from uni and had all these things happen that's out of your control, but it doesn't mean your future has to be this way.

There is no 'normal' way to feel and it's okay that you're feeling sad and scared all the time. Just because you're feeling this way now doesn't mean that you will keep feeling this way.

Have you ever thought about talking to someone about this? Maybe a counsellor or headspace - like startingnew suggested? Sometimes I think it's about finding back roads to get to where you want to go.

I hope this helps a little 🙂

P.S. What is a metaphorical frying pan? I tried to google it but couldn't understand it. 😛

[Bella_bee]

Thank you very much!

I really appreciate your advice and might look into that meet up idea.

I might talk to someone too, it would probably be better then a mandatory school counseling session where I felt uncomfortable in the past. Probably because I was being a brat!

Thanks starting new 🙂

[Bella_bee]

Hello thief,

I really appreciate your rant, it made me feel so much better after a crappy day.

You really hit the nail on the head with how I was feeling, and your compliments really made my day.

Your right, just because I’m feeling this way now, doesn’t mean it’s going to be like this forever. I just have to hold on to the fact that it can get better.

I might go to head space and talk to somebody, the least I can do is make the effort to reach out.

thank you so much.

p.s it’s from the saying out of the frying pan and into the fire. It means going from a bad situation to a worse one, often a result of trying to escape from the bad one. It’s quite fitting, and I’m petty like that.

[startingnew]

hi Bella its nice to hear back from you. i think youve already made a good start by reaching out to us on here. we all have those bratty yrs dont worry but this time itll be your choice not forced upon so might work better in your favour hey. headspace is suppose to be really good and also offers group sessions as well so you can meet other people too.

well done for reaching out and trying to make better life choices too. im looking forward to keeping up with how you get on in life through both good and bad.