I think I just had a panic/anxiety attack...<object type="cosymantecnisbfw" cotype="cs" id="SILOBFWOBJECTID" style="width: 0px; height: 0px; display: block;"></object>
I've been sobbing for the past ten minutes, but it quickly became me just hyperventilating and breathing rapidly. That lasted for at least five minutes, and afterwards, I just kind of lied on my bed, feeling absolutely worthless and depressed from it. I've cried before, but never that intensely over such a short time. The thing is, I feel fine now, apart from the emotional aftermath.
This happened because my mother disagreed with me over what bins to put on the street for collection tomorrow morning. I knew that the yellow bin didn't need to be taken out for another week, and that only the red bin needed to be emptied. Did she trust me? No. She just had to check for herself, to ensure that I was telling the truth. I have no reason to lie to her, especially about something so petty. When I returned inside, I decided to talk to my mum about this, since she'd encouraged both of us to be open about issues, so I was. I told her that it seemed that she had difficulty trusting other people, to which she agreed.
Then, I tried to ask her why she didn't trust me, and she told me that she had to see for herself. I told her that it really hurt me to know that I wasn't trusted by her, and she said that she 'understood'. However, I tried to talk to her about it some more, and she brought up the fact that she's nearly 50, she is an adult, and, therefore, she knows more than I ever will. When I tried to explain that, yes, she might be an adult, no, that didn't mean that she held all the answers. I then tried to say that I'll be a legal adult in 8 months, but she said that it didn't count. I was going to ask her when she became an adult, but she cut me off, saying that I would never know anything.
Then, she began crying, saying that she does so much for this family, and that she's never appreciated. At that point, I just gave up and headed to my room, where I pretty much broke down for a total of 15 minutes. Even now, I feel bad, and I have school tomorrow. My mum's more than likely going to twist the story so that it fits her narrative better and portrays me as the villain.
I can talk to my dad, but, ever since he and mum fought 4 months ago, things haven't been the same between them, and he prefers to stay out of these situations.
I guess I'm asking for help with identifying the emotional mess I went through, and also what I should do about this entire situation. I don't know right now. I feel so pathetic.
Hi Kiseki, welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing with us.
I'm sorry to hear about your tough night. It's crazy how one moment we're fine and the next something triggers and it's all a mess. The symptoms you've described definately sound like a panic or anxiety attack, however I cannot be sure.
The best thing to do is to see your doctor for a professional diagnosis of depression or anxiety, as it's hard to tell when you say you're feeling a little better after the anxiety attack. They will be able to refer you to a psychologist, which is a great place to start regarding learning how to deal with your own issues as well as your mother's issues. Don't be harsh on yourself, we all fight with our parents, we all experience things differently, and mental illness does not discriminate.
