Overload. I don't know what to do.

[Mon_002]

This is my first time writing on a forum and I don't really know what to say. What I am about to write are things I haven't spoken about to anyone because I don't know how to and just don't feel comfortable doing so.

I am a very quiet and sensitive person who bottles up their emotions. I don't know how to let them out to talk to people and this make me feel helpless. I feel like there are so many things happening to me right now I don't know where to start or what to say.

I am currently studying and have exams starting next week. At the moment I am meant to be studying but I can't concentrate at all and keep
procrastinating. This has been happening to me for a long time and I can't get myself motivated to study even though it is the opportunity for me to achieve my dream job. I have negative thoughts about my grades and don't have any hope for myself passing; the trigger was when I received a mark below 50% for an assignment, which I still haven’t told my parents about.

I try to avoid my work and therefore contact friends to keep my mind off everything that is bothering me. I feel like my brain is in overdrive
as I am constantly over thinking ever situation. It is hard for me to clear my mind and the only way I could do that was if I went to the beach, the gym, rode my bike or went for walks, but now all of that seems too hard for me to do.

I am constantly tired and feel drained. I can't sleep and some nights I stay up for hours or I wake up constantly during the night. I have also woken up in regards to uni work being due and thinking that I have missed the due date for assessments.

I was seeing someone for a month but then things were agreed to be left and we would continue being friends. He is now overseas but I haven't heard from him since he left and neither have his friends. He was the only person I could talk to... I could tell him anything, like how I felt and things that were bothering me and were on my mind.. I can’t tell others these things because I don’t feel like I can and since he’s been away, I feel like this is when I've needed him the most. 

I don’t know what to do, I'm very worried and stressed about everything... even little things bother me. I just need some help and guidance into what I can do. My main priority is studying, sitting and passing my exams to then enjoy a good break.

[White_Rose]

Dear Mon

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. Glad you found your way here.

You sound very down and possibly depressed. Leaving school and going to uni is usually a huge change in lifestyle and in the way you learn. Sometimes this can feel overwhelming and set up all sorts of anxieties. I suggestion that the quickest way to sort this out is to visit your GP, on your own if you do not want to involve your parents yet. I understand the difficulty of explaining yourself to another person. On BB it is easier because you are anonymous which leaves you free to express yourself.

If you believe you will have difficulty explaining your feelings to your GP then write a list of topics to discuss. Also I suggest you print out your post above, which is a very good explanation of how you feel. Then you can either read it to your GP or let him/her read it. Either way the hard part is done. Then your doctor can get on with a diagnosis. It may involve you answering some questions, but this is easier than making the description you wrote above.

I will not write a huge post, but I do urge you to visit your GP as a starting point. I think you will be surprised how much they know about how you feel and how much help they can offer.

Write back and tell us how you went.

Mary

[Mon_002]

Thank you for replying Mary.

This isn't my first year at uni, I'm going onto my third year, but I do feel that I need a break from studying because it's too much. I am planning on stopping next year that I can get onto of things. 

I will let you know how I go after seeing my GP, and thank you for the points. I know that I feel greater  comfort in writing down what I need to say because I'm not sure how I could express myself without getting emotional and forgetting what I needed to address.

Thank you again.

[Elle_S]

Hi Mon,

I certainly agree with Mary, going to your GP would be a great first step.

I too am studying at university, however it's my second time around! I am working full time and studying a Master's degree part-time. Just last week I was having sleepless nights, snapping at my partner and generally being grumpy and aggravated because I was stressed out about my work load.

I often feel guilty when I am studying because its not necessarily 'productive', and then if I permit myself to have a break, I feel guilty for not studying. However - now into my sixth year of university (though not consecutive), I believe I have learnt to manage these nagging feelings better.

You absolutely MUST permit yourself to have prolonged breaks from studying. Something that allows your mind to completely wander and forget about your assignments etc. I found that going to the movies was great, or reading a fictional book outside in the sun (something easy that engrosses you - I like Dan Brown for this). Then, when you are refreshed and come back to your desk, try and look at your 'mountain' of work from a different perspective. It's not black or white, not all or nothing, pass or fail. Just breathe. Take out a note pad and break everything down into smaller portions. Don't look at the whole, just the portions. Make a list of tasks that will work toward achieving what you need to get done. Once you achieve A, you can then tackle B, and actually cross them off the list as you go. Set mini goals for yourself, such as "write 500 words before lunch" and then reward yourself for the achievement (did someone say ice cream?!).

No body is perfect, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Getting a mark below 50% is devastating (I know), but it doesn't mean the end of the world. Having completed my undergrad degree, I got a job in my desired profession - they didn't even ask to see my academic transcript!! You've probably heard the saying "P's get degrees" - trust me, it's 100% true.

Best of luck,

ES