I don't know what to do any more, I feel lost

[Jimmy19]

This is mainly going to be a vent to anyone who will listen.

I have been feeling really tired and just sad lately due to almost every aspect of my life. My family, my uni, my friends, everything.

My family is, in my mind, the main problem. I live at home with my mother and my older brother and I feel like they either think I am incredibly stupid or can't be trusted. They will say or do anything to stop me from doing pretty much anything social, (for example, I went to town for a friends birthday, and my brother, my mother and my gandmother constantly told me I will probably get mugged, my drink spiked, get into a fight and wont enjoy myself. this went on for 3 days non stop, every conversation. and on the occasion i decide to stay home, they complain that I dont go out. It doesn't make sense because every counsellor and all my friends I have told this to, tell me that my family is in the wrong. But its the fact that they all gang up on me that makes me think I am wrong. I understand that tragedies can cause repression, which I think this is. But they make me want to run away forever.

As for my Uni, I hate it. I am studying first year product design and it is just too much. but i cannot find a job where I live. I have given out over 150 resumes and I haven't even gotten an interview. My Uni peers treat me like an Alien and I just want to quit, but i have nothing else to go to.

As for my friends, My best friend Brad is the only person on this planet I can tell anything to, but sometimes I feel like I put to much pressure on him with my problems. I always feel second best out of my friends and I just hate it all. I feel like I cant tell anyone how I feel because I am being over dramatic. I am starting to get extremely angry at little things, i never express it but in my mind I just feel like exploding.

I have tried counselling and have spoken to my GP a few times about this, but nothing helps. the tablets make me feel tired and sluggish which I cant be for Uni. there just feels like no escape. And I feel so alone, I only have 1 friend that takes me seriously and I dont want to keep putting pressure on him. 

If anyone has the time to offer their thoughts I would be grateful, I don't know what to do any more. I just think I need someone to guide me for a while.

Thanks

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hey Jimmy,

First of all I want to say, come here any time to talk and I will keep an eye out and get back to you asap! Im random, Im weird, Im funny, and I care about others more than myself.

How long have you been on the tablets? and are you referencing anti depressants or something else? Medications CAN cause you to be drowsy and lacking in motivation if they are not right for your system, but depression and stress is a huge factor in this too.

I have to agree that your family does seem to be adding extra pressure to your lifestyle which is really unfair. A couple things you quoted them saying about going out on the town or to parties ARE usually born of concern but I do not know the frequency, intent or tone behind what they say, yet by no means believe it is solely concern for your well being. This is a situation only you can change, but maybe your best friend could be there for your support at the time/s you attempt this?

You need to do what makes you happy and you need to get them off your case. They need to know what they are putting you through.. Often these behaviours come from their own insecurities and issues, if their lonely they will try to make you that way too, and when you are and they feel bad for it they will try to turn it on you. SO many people are like this but often do not realise they do it...

As for Uni, do you have any options in splitting your study? For example doing a years work over 2 years.. Yeah I know its a bit of a daunting thought but you know everyone needs a break from hardships and this may be what you need to do just to get back on top short term, for greater success in life long term..

It is possible you could put a bit too much on your friends shoulder, but those who truly care wont care about that! If it gets too much for him he will either tell you honestly or he will begin to put a bit of distance between you at which point you may need to ask. You have no idea how lucky you are to have someone who listens and understands so close though so look after that relationship as best you can.

You say tragedies can cause repression, your right they can, and if this is the case the problem is making them see that it is effecting their behaviour. They need to face this just as much as you need to face them... Though this will benefit you, it is for their own health that it must be faced, maybe its something you can help with. If the situation is too hard maybe you need to distance yourself from them.

[Jimmy19]

 Thanks for the reply

The tablets were a medication I was taking and they just made me feel so tired so I stopped taking them. 

As for my well being I actually feel so much better. I was laying awake in bed one night and realised that most of the things that bothered me and made me feel pressured so much were me making them harder.  

I am still struggling to find a job, I am going to speak to my program co ordinator at uni to see what my options are. I have signed up for a gym that is quite cheap that I can go to regularly. I just feel like every problem I have can be solved, even though it might take a bit of work. 

I think my main problem was that I was looking at my life the wrong way. I was sitting waiting for my problems to stop instead of getting up and making them stop. 

It sounds kinda corny, but i watched a movie on tv recently called "Scent of a Woman" and it was probably the main reason I have decided to change my lifestyle.

The reason being is that I have never had a male mentor, when I was 6 I lost my father and both my grandfathers in the span of about 2 years. I never had someone to teach me proper life lessons, my mother kept me under a rock, which I can understand. But in the film he meets someone who becomes a father/ mentor to him. I think i need to find a mentor.

Even Terry Crews, who is one of my favourite people on the planet said in an interview that he never had a father figure, so he went and found one (i believe it was Sylvester Stallone in expendables) and it helped him greatly in his life.

As for my family, I will never stop them being the way they are, I have spoken to them hundreds of times and it always goes back to the same. However I can stop it from bothering me. I just need to stop sitting around waiting for things to get better and blaming everything.

[GuardianMike]

I think you've got the right mindset here. Things aren't done, problems aren't fixed, without some doing. The gym will be great, not only for your physical health, but your mental health. Maybe take advantage of any group activities at the gym; you can definitely meet some fun people in these classes. A lot of people socialise just before, and after, group activities. 

A positive role model or mentor in life can make all the difference; it did for me. I found a solid path in life to walk, and I've come so far in three years I can hardly recognise who I was before it. It doesn't even have to be a male, just someone with traits you'd naturally pair with masculinity. I know some military women who are very strong role models in general.