High School

[SomeBritishGuy]

My name is Michael and i'm starting at high school. I had a lot of friends going into high school (a small little group) but now a lot of them just left. No warning, just gone... My social life with boys is so-so as i'm small and skinny. my social life with girls is horrible as i'm no the best looking and also like i said before, small, skinny, nerdy and not very popular. One guy in particular, was my best friend, we did everything together. We were inseparable. But sadly now because hes in normal classes and i'm in AEP for everything, (Academic Extension Program) hes started to ignore me and just taunt me. Does anyone have any clue on what to do? - Michael 😞

[Keira]

Hi Michael, I'm Keira. I'm sorry that you feel this way, when I started high school last year I found it hard. I still do. It's a really difficult place to be at times. It made me depressed and insecure and I lost all my confidence. I also lost a lot of friends too. But I made new friends after a while, and they accept me for who I am. I had a best friend who did the same thing that your friend did and it's made me realise that I'm better off without her. Sometimes people change for the worst. Your old friend is probably insecure and you should feel sorry for them. Maybe they will realise their mistake one day. Popularity doesn't matter in high school. Being popular doesn't get you anything. Sure it might be nice sometimes to be included but the real people that matter like you for the person you are inside. Don't bring yourself down, you sound like a good person. You will find people that will accept you and make you happy. It just might take a while to find them. I hope this helped x

[Croix]

Dear Michael~

I'm another British guy, though school is long behind me - thank goodness. Being in an AEP is both an opportunity and a drag. It allows you not to be bored witless by being stuck in classes that creep along, but does also provide the sillier elements in the school with ammunition to hurl at you to make themselves feel better.

I guess ask yourself - would you be happy being one of the ones that did the taunting, or better off as you are. When you do make friends - and you will - you will not always be worried they are gong to abandon you, any more than you would them.

Keira is spot-on, people will see the you inside, the thing that is you - not outside looks, and that is what lasts.

You asked what to do, I'm afraid the answer is the sensible long-term one, stick it out, wait for the right people to come along, have pride in your self and your achievements. Cultivate interests you enjoy and see if others do too.

I can understand with a home life that is not 100% and a father that yells all the time this can seem even harder, all I can say is that in your school there will be many worthy people of your age in similar circumstances, you simply don't know them as yet.

Croix

[iianxietydamn]

hi Michael, I have also started high school this year, I am in the same situation as yours, all my friends have left and I am in all the higher classes, they are all lower than me. this made me feel quite lonely, I walked to class alone, I sat alone at lunch, I caught the bus alone, then one day all of a sudden this new kid came to my school, she was put in all of my classes and she also had "no friends" so we started talking and we are so close now! this might not happen to you as I must have just been very lucky, but this has just taught me that everything has a happy ending! hopefully, your ending will be happy too!

[zoltron]

Hey Michael, I hope you're doing a bit better this week. I'm in my last year of high school (year 12) and the same stuff happened to me in years 7-9. This girl and I had been best friends for about 10 years and all of a sudden she just shut me out and stopped talking to me. I later realised that she was really superficial and stopped being my friend because I wasn't in the "popular" group and I wasn't pretty enough (by her standards). During that time I cried every day and I thought I would never have any friends ever. She was also really controlling and manipulative, though I didn't understand that until after it all happened, so she didn't let me have any other friends.

Things will get better Michael! Over the past two years I've made heaps of friends that I would have never even expected to talk to. Once you get older and reach the end of high school you'll notice that people begin to mature and the superficial and 'fakeness' of school wears off. From my previous experiences, it is better to have lots of friends, rather than have just one friend. (What will you do if they're away??) I'm not saying that you shouldn't have any close friends, but don't limit yourself to just one or two! I also have a great group of friends at my workplace, and though I don't get to see them all the time because I'm still at school, it makes it better when I do get to see them! Just be yourself and you'll notice that people will be drawn to who you are and not what they want to see.

Do you have any friends in your classes? It can be daunting, but try to talk to them! I get really anxious in new settings with new people, but if I have a few people I know and can talk to, it really helps for the next time. Do you have any hobbies? I really enjoy painting and calligraphy, even though I'm not great at it, it really helps to do something I love. I do notice that I am getting better, and that gives me heaps of confidence! Don't be afraid to try something new, don't worry if you aren't good at it, you won't be perfect the first go and that's ok!

I hope you are getting better and have made some other friends! All the best Michael xx