Having General Anxiety and Depression but never declaring it at my work!

[Ryan0707]

Hey everyone,

I really felt the need to connect to the Beyond Blue community as I would love some ideas.

I work in alternative education and many of the students and one of my main colleagues are neuro-diverse.

This is woven into their identities and they are proud of the unique way they see the world I enjoy working with them and hearing their insights.

However, I have always had G.A.D and at 42 years of age have just always tried to cope. I have never disclosed in any of my workplaces that I deal with my anxiety every day and going to work is manageable, yet exhausting as I have to navigate all my interactions 'pretending' that I am not an anxious person.

At this point I do not plan to tell people that I have G.A.D as I don't feel comfortable in doing so.

In my work, the main colleague I work with is autistic and has O.C.D.
We started out the year great but I have noticed they are a workaholic and work on weekends. I have no intention of doing this but lately, I have missed a few bits and pieces in my duties (nothing critical) due to my colleague's intensity, they call me out bluntly about missing these bits and pieces.

When they do this I find their bluntness upsetting and when we go off to do our separate duties, I find myself having to do lots of wellness (breathing and gratitude work) just to get myself in a headspace to do my set tasks - hence why I am behind.

I am the first one to sat that I have missed something and will rectify it but due to my colleague's bluntness I am finding myself paranoid that they think less of me and have changed their opinion of me as I forget to do some things in my job.

Any advice is much appreciated as this is causing much anxiety - especially as I write this on a Sunday as Monday we go into meetings ( a place where my colleague calls me out).

[ABC01]

Dear Ryan0707,

As a sufferer of GAD and having worked full time in a high stress position, I can tell you that I empathise with you.

You have the choice to disclose what you like to who you like. Stigma can still be prevalent depending on circumstances. And you absolute confidence in what you say is most important.

In terms of your workplace and workload, it reminds me of when I used to get reprimanded if I missed a timeline ect. After awhile my anxiety started to internalise every moment as a criticism. At my expense. The fact that you are already putting mindfulness into place is a great coping mechanism.

I was always exhausted by my job. Depending on which part of the anxiety wave (the dip or the top) is whether I cope better or not. Maybe if you can identify which part you are on,whether more self care is needed at that time. Olis, I have to work and communicate with others.

Depending on many factors in others lives, they may come across bluntly. Where they are on the spectrum and also the o.c.d can come across as blunt or frankness. That isn’t a you problem. Unfortunately you may have to remind yourself that.

Putting up a “front” is quite a regular thing for every one to do. It is of us being “normal”. We want people to only see that front. And it is exhausting. So I empathise with you there too.

Worrying about someone’s opinion of you is a human thing. It is natural. But believing into the fact is another. You are competent to do your job role and stay employed in it. So there is no reason to believe anyone else’s opinion. Plus you don’t if it is even truth or not.

Please take care of yourself and remember you are important.

Keep up with the mindfulness and wellness that works for you.

ABC01

[Scared]

Work colleagues can be so draining from the Micro Manager to the critic. 
Dont worry I would be very upset if someone was talking to me like that too.

So ok they work weekends could be because they cant do the job in time given.  Thats not your problem its their problem for not being able to do the job in allotted time do you agree.

However being shown up for mistakes is your problem and this needs to stop do you agree. 
Maybe you could simply say next time you are shown bluntly your mistakes is to say "  Excuse me I would feel less stressed and more productive in my duties if another less blunt way of me being informed of my mistakes "

You can thank him for the feedback noting my mistakes and look forward to a more productive happier workplace

So basically what Im saying is all you are interested in is a great productive workplace and highlighting that he is not helping the greater cause without actually blaming the critic

You look good dont have to disclose your anxiety and now the spotlight is probably on the critic if anything.

The goal is you come out smelling like a rose and getting change you need and deserve.

But clean up these mistakes ok and stop giving them ammunition

[Ryan0707]

Thankyou so much for your wise advice and I can tell you've been through it too in the workplace.

Believing into the fact - this really resonates with me! I find this idea very grounding and will equip it into my arsenal that gets me through the day.

1. Thanks again for taking the time to offer support - I appreciate it 🙏🏽. 

[Ryan0707]

Thankyou for your message. I had not considered the idea about them working on the weekend because they couldn't finish in the alloted time. 

I likened it to they have an unhealthy work ethic but your idea could also be true.

Thanks again for the advice - incredibly valuable to sound out these ideas to neutral yet understanding people. 

1.