Getting Angry or sad too much, too often.

[iwantedapuppy]

Hi. I wanted to know if anyone else gets really angry or sad for no reason, just out of the blue? I am 19 and living with my boyfriend and it just seems to be a constant pattern for me. For a few days I am quite fine, maybe feel a little unsure or comfortable with something, but nothing bad. Then out of no where I'll be crying or fighting over something small. Just today I got angry at my boyfriend for him somehow losing his myki on the tram. I felt annoyed that he has lost it again as he's replaced it at least ten times, and because of this always has to carry around a spare myki. I don't know why I got so annoyed by it though, even though I don't want him to get a fine and all, it really shouldn't be a big deal. It felt so bad arguing with him about it. I feel like I am always having to apologise to him. I use to be really sad all the time and because of this no one wanted to be around me except him. I don't know how to control it. I almost feel like I am possessed or something when I get this outburst of sadness or anger.

My boyfriend is really kind and has been there for me through all my issues and I love him very much but I just seem to get too emotional sometimes. I went through some really bad stuff in Grade 12 and I feel like I still haven't forgiven my parents for what they did. I feel those events have a lot to do with me getting upset over little things not going my way. I hated my life so much in grade 12 due to having no real friends, being bullied, parents divorcing, domestic violence, my mum's horrid boyfriend moving in... just a few to list. It was so bad I had to move out as soon as school finished. I do now talk to my parents and sometimes we visit each other, but I still feel hurt. It's not something I can bring up because when I have it just upsets them. I randomly will have a flash back of an event and then it's just really hard to shake off. Like sometimes I won't be able to sleep properly because my brain is too busy worrying about what happened at my school formal (my 'friend' ripped my dress, ditched me and a few other things I don't want to talk about). But yeah just stuff like that somehow just decides to randomly pop up throughout the day. Doesn't help with my university studies now either.

I just want to be happy and not angry or sad randomly. It just hurts me and my boyfriend. I don't want to keep being like this or go back to what I use to be like. I just want to know if anyone has any tips on moving forward? Thanks.

[white knight]

Hi and welcome

A few things come to mind, some are obvious to me others need checking up but I'm glad you came here.

Re: the MYKI card. We all being human, we have mental blockages on different things. Occasionally we might not be able to recall where our keys are or wallet. For what ever reason (and to over analyze it will get you in a spin) the MYKI card it the issue with your man. Best to suggest adjustments to how he stores it on his person that ranting. So ask him. What is your routine when you get on a tram/bus/train? He might reply "I put it in that pocket" etc. Check that pocket, that wallet or where he stores it and go from there. Sort the solution, suggest the solution. Help him.

Our emotions if too high (like a see-saw)get raised above logic when we have any mental illness like mild anxiety or worse.

Crying for no reason- the story of my life. I'm 62yo and up until 54yo I had that condition. I was diagnosed with bipolar2, depression, anxiety and dysthymia. In my case it was a simple case of a small amount of medication and wow!! a big change to my life came about, calmer, more tolerance, more laughter, less anger. I urge you to consider a visit to your GP for a check up. Overlook the stigma and the challenge of accepting you have a mental condition. Such worry is non productive and although you are doing it for yourself, your loved ones will benefit.

I'm a parent that divorced and my girls had to endure that process. I cant begin to explain the internal pain and suffering I went through watching my kids feeling the sadness of us splitting up. But it was absolutely uncontrollable and I couldn't remain with that woman one more day. In fact I was suicidal. So, the fact that your parents could not avoid hurting you indirectly, it might be time to put that aside and forgive them and move on. After all, it would be even more upsetting if they remained together for the sake of their child and weren't happy. Imagine staying with a guy you didn't love for the sake of other people? I think you know this because you appear quite articulate. Sometimes we need to be told anyway to "seal our mind".

A busy brain is a tormented one. Sleep is essential for anyone with emotional issues. Its a cycle. No sleep, moody, conflict, worry, less sleep again... Finding a settled life is your quest.

Google

Topic: who cries over spilt milk?- beyondblue

topic: crying, a gauge to our mental strength- beyondblue

topic: dysthymia- beyondblue

Repost anytime

tonyWK

[zoltron]

Hello! I'm currently in year 12 and am struggling. I understand where you're coming from, most days I feel so down and helpless and I don't know why. I also get really sad and angry for no reason, my mum might be trying to explain something to me and I just want to scream or throw something.

I also hate that everything seems to happen in year 12, the year where you're already struggling and then life decides you need all this other stuff. I'm currently not speaking to my dad (my parents divorced when I was 6) and I have no motivation to do anything, I just want to sleep when I get home from school. My sleeping and eating habits are totally out, I prefer not to eat and I can't fall asleep until really late and then can't get up in the morning. It's good that your boyfriend is supporting you! What are you studying at uni if you don't mind me asking??

Hope you have some good days and are doing better x

[BballJ]

Hi iwantedapuppy,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. Sorry to read what you are going through currently.

It sounds like you have been through so much traumatic experiences in your life have you ever actually seeked professional help from a doctor or a psychologist? When someone has put up with so much stuff as you have it can take such a toll on ones mental health and can cause these sudden feelings of anger or sadness, I know because I experienced a similar issue in year 12 and never dealt with it until now and was always angry or sad at sometimes very small trivial things. I think the positive here is you understand that isn't right what you are feeling but the other positive is that you are also wanting to get better and that is a major step here.

Please, post back as much as you like, we are always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

[iwantedapuppy]

hey zoltron,

Thanks for your message. I am really sorry Grade 12 isn't going that well for you. It can be really hard, but you can get through it. Even if you don't get the grades you wanted or needed there are other ways to getting into the career you want. But again that depends whether or not you know what career you want because most people (including myself) had no idea or just couldn't decide which one they'd prefer. The awesome thing is you don't have to know. This year I can guarantee though people will be asking you want are you wanting to do once you've finished school. But the best thing to say, really is 'I'll figure it out when I get there'. For all I know you've had a dream of being, lets say a vet but this year your friend tells you they are wanting to be a tradie and you've never thought of doing that career before and now after thinking about it, you want to be a tradie. Or you just feel you want to do something that involves fixing things. Just keep your options open and feel free if you go to university, tafe, work, travel or whatever that you can change your mind whenever and your grades in grade 12 don't follow you throughout your whole life.

I am really sorry you don't feel motivated enough to do stuff. I can relate. It's terrible when you want to do something but at the same time you really just can't be bothered. I winded up in year 12 at home when meant to be doing work just watching youtube or sleeping. I just couldn't stand the stress of it and the stress life was making for me. I would really hate for you to feel like you are alone in this. Because you aren't. I somehow survived it because my school counsellor pulled me out in the last few weeks of grade 12, out of all my classes and made me do all my work that I had fallen so hard behind on. I honestly would recommend if you can and if you haven't already, go talk to your school counsellor/psychologist. Because not eating and having trouble sleeping isn't going to help you this year. Don't punish yourself. Even if you really don't feel like eating, do it anyway. But don't be eating junk food because that won't make you feel much better for very long. I gained 10kgs due to my stress eating which involved skipping meals and then purging on chocolate or ice-cream.

I am also sorry your parent's divorced. I know how hard that is and that happening when you were very young can be very difficult. Maybe you should try talking to your mum about how you are feeling

I am doing science

[zoltron]

Wow! Thanks for your relpy, as much as it sucks, it's good to know that there are other people around experiencing similar things. I didn't mean to turn my reply into a pity party for me (sorry!!), I just wanted to let you know that I understand some of your feelings. Science sounds really cool, I'm not really into it, I like arty stuff and history! I'm hoping to keep working where I am now (an art shop yay!!). My colleagues are really supportive and want me to do my best. I'm thinking of uni, or even travelling (not sure, I'd be way to anxious on my own). I've found that journaling helps me, especially because it's something I already enjoy. Thank you again for all of your kind words, especially when you're going through such a hard time. xxx

[iwantedapuppy]

pity party?!dont be silly. I didn't view it that way at all and you shouldn't feel bad for not liking grade 12 that much. its pretty stressful. But you'll get through it.

That is awesome that you like art. I do too! I like to draw, paint and take photos. I found too as I did art at school and as an extra subject at uni that they are quite different from one another with how they are taught and marked. but I guess it just depends what school or uni you go to.

I honestly would of adored to have travelled after school and know so many people who have. I was just to broke haha.