Feeling Pressured

Lolue · ‎05-03-2018

Hi, I have been seeing a psychologist and a doctor to help both my mental and physical health. I'm currently underweight I get weighed by both my psychologist and doctor. I get weekly blood tests to check everything. I was previously going to headspace to see a psychologist but they didn't think things were working out so sent me to a specialist service. I still see the doctor at headspace who has been amazing. I was told today by my new psychologist who I like a lot better than my last psychologist that if things don't work out that I could be refered on to a another place but will be in the private health system and the adult system. I feel like there's so much pressure now to be gaining weight so that I don' get put in a hospital ward or don't get refered on to yet another place. It's already hard with work having to constantly take time off work to go to all these appointments and trying to set up my schedule to get consistency. Im also going on a trip overseas in may for my birthday if I get placed in a ward (which can be done against my will) Ill be forced to cancel my trip and pay cancellation fees. I want to get better but feel there' so much pressure. *please note:before replying I do not have a eating disorder and my pyschologist does not think I have one. It' more from neglect, poor diet and depression.

james1 · ‎05-03-2018

Hello Lolue,

It sounds very stressful having to deal with the demands of the health professionals while also managing your own health and work. Feeling pressured to get to a certain mental or physical state is something I've read from quite a few posters so you're certainly not alone in it, and this is something that is really difficult to cope with.

Just for my own understanding, it sounds like you are suffering from depression and one of the ways it is manifesting itself is poor eating habits and weight loss. Is that right? Do you mind if I ask if this is something that bothers you and if it is putting you at a physical health risk?

I suppose I am asking because it sounds like you aren't as bothered by your weight loss and are instead feeling quite bothered by your doctors' reactions to it.

James

Lolue · ‎06-03-2018

Okay that last comment really upset me of course I'm bothered by my weight loss! I reread my post and I don't see how I came across that way not my intention at all! 😠

Lolue · ‎06-03-2018

I just want clarify how I'm feeling cause apparently didn' come across right. I'm feeling like I'm too much to handle I saw a previous psychologist for a month and then was referred onto a another specialist psychologist who I've just started seeing it hasn't even been a month and she' started talking about if I need to be referred on if things aren't working here. It' upsetting to hear cause I don't think it was the right time for that conversation. I' feeling pressured to be gaining weight. I don't want to be refered on, I don't want to get placed into a ward against my will. I don't want to be forced to cancel my trip which affects my sister because it's not fair to her. I feel like I'm too hard to handle which makes me feel worthless and affects my depression and makesmell have shit thoughts. I feel like I'm trying to move forward but it' a step back.

james1 · ‎07-03-2018

Hello Lolue,

I am sorry that my question upset you. I did not want to make any assumptions which was why I asked, and sometimes it can be hard for us to understand exactly how you are feeling as we do not have to suffer through the same things as you.

It does sound very upsetting to hear that your psychologist is already talking about being referred on again like you're too hard to handle, which is of course untrue.

Have you had these conversations with your psychologists about how you feel when they talk about referring you on?

James

Lolue · ‎07-03-2018

Hi James,

I plan bringing it up with my psychologist when I see her in my next session. I can understand why she brought up the conversation but felt like it was the wrong time to have that conversation. I only just started seeing her and feel like were still in the getting to know each other phase.

james1 · ‎09-03-2018

Okay, that is good to hear.

I also would have been very put off by that so good on you for sticking around and trying to make this therapy session work for you. Hopefully she can understand why it hurt you and people don't make any snap judgments.

How are you feeling today? I was reading your posts from earlier in this thread and I am just wondering how you are going and if you had any questions or concerns, or just want to speak to someone?

Lolue · ‎10-03-2018

Hi James1, thanks for checking in 🙂

I saw my doctor the other day all my results with my doctor are slowly improving and on her scales I've been gaining weight which is a relief to hear. Only my heart rate is still a bit high when I'm sitting. She doesent think I need to be refered to a ward which is good to hear she also called a nearby hospital and spoke to a doctor there and they said I don't need to be admitted and that everything were doing is fine.

It was nice to get that reassurance from my doctor and to hear that on her scales I have been gaining small amounts of weight.

james1 · ‎15-03-2018

Hello Lolue,

Sorry I haven't been able to post recently as I've been away, but I am glad to hear how your results went with the doctors. I am also very happy to hear that they do not think you need to be admitted to a ward, and that you feel a lot more reassured now. It sounds a lot less scary.

Very glad for you and the recent news!

James