Feeling depressed every weekend

[Carlyrm]

I have a problem at the moment where I feel I am doing well during the week, I have set out plans and always have obligations which I find motivate and give me a positive attitude in my life - like I am moving in the right direction. By the weekend I feel my mood drop, my friends don't return my texts and I hardly get invited out. I could spend my Saturday night studying or doing something that makes me feel happy but I feel like I'm missing out not socialising on the weekend like most people are my age (not necessarily getting drunk or things like that just being social) and I begin to feel hit with severe loneliness. To the point where I feel so unmotivated to do the simpliest things or hobbies that could make me feel good instead I waste time and then go to sleep. I feel like no one wants to spend time with me I see friends on social media talking about their fun time out with other friends and feel depressed and alone. Why aren't I invited? Why am I still so alone? Maybe I just need to get some new friends? Why doesn't anyone seem to care?  I'm tired of feeling depressed every weekend and dreading feeling awful on the flipside I feel very positive and motivated during the week so that's something. I just needed to type this out to vent - it can feel overwhelming.

[white knight]

Hi Carlyrm, welcome

Unfortunately you are missing a key thing here. People including your friends just want to have fun, fun and more fun. They don't want a serious person that has problems and needs to talk about them. Sad isn't it...its actually disgraceful and it makes me really angry. I realised this and had to move on from several so called friends to find friends more my type, people with feelings and care.

So, you might need to alter your views to socialising. By all means keep the friends you have but only be in their presence when you want to have fun in the form they have fun. If you are not in that mood don't go out with them. Be true to yourself and your character.

But another thing, believe in yourself, be happy that you are who you are. If you are not the type that fits in that's ok, you are you, not one of them. Be happy within your own skin as they say.  Expand your social world, sports, hobbies, etc join other groups even for short periods...take the attitude the "world is your oyster".

Take the view that this journey in life is a great one and jump the hurdles, cradle the love from others and find yourself. It can be fun.

Tony WK

[geoff]

dear Carlyrm , I would love to know how old you are, you could have told us before in one of your many posts.

I would also like to ask a couple of questions and please only answer if you feel comfortable.

During the week do you associate with these 'friends' at school or uni, have a laugh together, or even socialise during the week, these answers may help me understand your concern.

These 'friends' may socialise in a way that they know wouldn't suit you or you would disagree to, so please get back to us. Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Carlyrm,

Thanks for posting to BB.

I'm sorry that you are feeling so lonely!  Loneliness can be a really exhausting thing sometimes.

You said that during the week you make plans and have obligations but then in the weekend friends don't return your texts.  Is it your friends that are constantly cancelling on you?  Are you making plans with different people or with the same?

If the plans are being made with the same people and they are constantly (every weekend) making reasons to cancel then yeah, I would be concerned.  Have you tried talking to them about it and how it makes you feel?  I know that I used to have a friend who would cancel but when I talked to her she said that it was "no big deal".  This was only because she didn't realise the impact that it was having on me.  This might be the same for you - maybe your friends might be up and down with commitments and not understanding how this is affecting you.

I also think that it's important to work on yourself too, because just because we are alone doesn't mean that it has to be lonely.  Sometimes people look forward to spending weekends alone - getting to relax, put their hair up, watch TV shows, going shopping or whatever they enjoy.

You may find that it could be helpful to talk to a counsellor about what's going on for you when you feel lonely - about why it is you feel so unmotivated or feeling like you're missing out.

I hope this helps a little! Take care 🙂

[morgs29]

Hi Carlyrm,

I'm so sorry to hear you are dealing with these feelings of loneliness. I can completely relate and want to assure you that you are not the only one that feels this way. Far from it! What has really helped me is finding friends who have things in common with me. I remember how distant and lonely I felt in high school, reflecting now, I realise it was because these people were not my kind of people!

I went through weekends where I was so down on myself, thinking there was something wrong with me. There is nothing at all wrong with you, it's just a matter of finding 'your tribe' 🙂 To get started, ask yourself what you love to do. Is it Reading? Writing? Movies? There are so many online and physical groups out there now where you can meet people who share the same interests as you. I have met some of my closest friends through volunteering, for example.

Don't give up hope that there are people like you, or who will understand you, out there. I promise you, they are there! There is a wonderful quote which I think captures this: "eventually soul mates meet for they share the same hiding places."

Take care,

Morgan