Coming to terms with anxiety

Rj_40 · ‎11-09-2015

Evening,

this is the most I have ever reached out and admitted that I may have anxiety! I am struggling to deal with some of my symptoms. I am always tired,have muscles aches,feeling scattered(the best way I can describe it) and my stomach can make up its mind(very irregular)..

I have been to the doctors(regularly)and feel I need a medical diagnosis..whether it be chrons,IBD or something! I am probably over anxious that it could be something worse(cancer)!! And I think there in lies my problem..I obsess of worst case scenarios!

I am a married with 2 kids and feel like I should be better than this! I should be the rock not the crumbling cookie! I work in healthcare and I see anxiety all the time and feel like I shouldn't have it,like I'm better than that!

i want to get these problems under control! Just want to go back to normal!

Hope this all makes sense! I definately some times struggle to make sense of it all!

Thank you for anyone that reads this or replies!

Sparkles183 · ‎14-09-2015

Hi RJ40s

welcome to beyond blue and congratulations for reaching out. Often reaching out and admitting you have a problem is the first step in recovery. May I ask have you ever spoke to a psychologist about your anxiety. I don't know if you are aware but u are entitled up to 10 sessions in a calendar year under medicare with a referral from your GP.

i can understand about working in healthcare I also studied in healthcare and I remember that half the time when we learnt about new conditions me and my friends will spend half the time diagnosing our self, I found the more we knew the worst it got lol. But u will find a lot people who work in health care has some sort of mental health condition and they just get on with their life's and keep working. Any way I hope things get better for u soon

take care

sparkles

Rj_40 · ‎14-09-2015

Thanks for your Reply sparkles,

i had one session with a psychologist..it was ok but at them time still had a hard time accepting that I had anxiety and couldn't see the benefit it would be for me! I am still having trouble accepting that my symptoms are anxiety related! I'm very medical and am convinced they are medically related! In my head I'm worried about feeling under my arms or jaw because I'll feel glands that may be due to lymphoma or something nasty! I even feel stupid for writing this! I feel nauseated at times and think it has to be because of something else...chrons or bowel cancer! I can't get my brain to realize it is just my mind causing it!!

I think I need to go back to the psychologist and try again! I can't keep this up!!

i walk around feeling poorly and think there is no reason for me to be anxious so therefore it can't be anxiety!! Agh! It's a real catch 22..

but this is the most I've ever vocalized it so hopeful it's a turning point!

Ladyhawke · ‎14-09-2015

Hi Rj40. Yes, congratulations on speaking up and reaching out. I completely understand how difficult it can be to accept that at least part of your problems may be emotional/psychological rather than physical. I was first diagnosed with a psychological disorder in 1995 (bipolar which was later rediagnosed as major depressive/anxiety disorder; 3 years ago ADD was added and 3 months ago - BPD) after being treated for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for almost 2 years. Despite treatment for CFS, i was feeling worse both physically and emotionally. I realised that i was having some very negative thoughts and mentioned them to my GP. He immediately referred me to a psychiatrist. I felt very ashamed and weak; i was raised in a family that didn't discuss negative emotions - whatever was happening, we were expected to remain calm and pretend all was well. Accepting the fact that I did have a problem - quite a few in fact - was the most difficult thing I've ever done. However, I persisted with treatment weekly: appropriate meds and talking about things that bothered me. After a month or so, i felt an enormous weight had been lifted off me. I changed psychiatrists in 2001 when I found a.doctor who was a better "fit" with me. I still required meds, but required a deeper level of psychotherapy. I am still seeing him weekly and will most likely continue until one of us retires. He is my support, my lifeline. Had I not taken that initial step, i may not have made it - I was in VERY bad shape. I think you're right about seeing your psychologist again and the sooner you do so, the better the handle you can get on the things that are worrying you. Try to give it a decent period of time. At the beginning, I cancelled appointments and wanted to stop but now I'm extremely glad I didn't. Take care and be aware that there are so many people like us - it is staggering. Best wishes for your future health.