Work and life

[micjane]

Hi everyone! I'm a 21y/o female.

Basically I have a hard time making myself go to work. I mostly enjoy the job (once I get there it's okay, it's just actually getting there that is the difficult part), but I make myself feel like I hate work and I can pretty much have panic attacks and have to get my boyfriend or mum to call in and say I can't come in.

I feel like I put it all on, does anyone else ever feel that? Like they fake their anxiety?

I know I'm not faking when I'm bawling my eyes out hyperventilating, scratching at my skin, or a panic attack causes me to pass out. But still, sometimes I think it's just all in my head and the reason I don't want to work is that I'm lazy. 

I feel like I'm weak and searching for excuses if I took time off work to make myself better. If work is the main issue, wouldn't the obvious solution be to take a break from work? Or should I suck it up and make myself keep going?

Honestly, I would love to stay home everyday, thats the kind of person I am, but I'm 21 and want to own a house so I need the money.

This post is a mess, my brain has too many things running through it at the same time.

Any similar experiences, or suggestions, would be appreciated.

[SeanM92]

Hey friend,
Welcome to the forum and well done on getting the courage to post here.

Don't worry, i too find transit the hardest parts of most trips.

Something that works for me is listening to my favorite music and just having a good time on the way, not giving the panic a chance to wiggle into thought. 

I would consider going and seeing a GP or a counselor just for that extra release of stress and will help with clearer thinking and working through things.

When i was working i did the exact same thing, identical to your story so trust me, i feel your pain. At one stage i even got my baby sister to call in for me so i didn't have to go. 

Maybe finding a new job may help or as i mentioned, seeing a therapist may help to relieve stress and work through this issue your having at the moment.

Try not to worry to much, i don't think your making it up, it seems more like your not sure how to handle it is all.

I hope i've been of some help and that it all works out for you soon.
Take care and good luck

[Narniakid]

Hey micjane, welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.

I experienced the same symptoms whenever I had to go to work or to my college for study. There were a couple of times I had my boyfriend call up to say I couldn't come in, so I know exactly where you're coming from. 

As Sean said, I don't think you're making it up, you just don't know how to handle it. What I suggest you do is see your GP for a referral to a professional psychologist, and they will be able to help you through the panic attacks and retrain your thinking patterns.

Definitely work on the breathing techniques and tell yourself affirmations - "I CAN do this! I WILL get through today's shift!" If all else fails, remind yourself that you need the money. There is also a chance that your workplace, particularly if it is a large company, offer counselling services and special provisions for employees going through a tough time.

Crystal