bedridden with depression

[JasKat2499]

Hi, I'm Jas. I am 16 yrs old and currently doing yr 11. In 2010 I came down with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome due to stress given by a teacher.   She would ridicule and humiliate me in front of the entire class all because I couldn't answer her questions. I was only 11 yrs old when this came upon me.  Although, I was able to overcome Chronic Fatigue I have ever since suffered from uncontrollable stress and severe depression followed by anxiety. I constantly have the symptoms of headaches, stomach pains, an aching feeling especially in my shoulders and back, In my worst moments, my hands will shake uncontrollably. I also hold a lot of resentment and anger towards teachers in general and I'm so fearful that I will be yelled at my anyone if I make a mistake which has led me to become a perfectionist. During my time in yr 11 I found I could not cope doing my classes at my normal high school so  I decided to do Open Access part time homeschooling but even that has become troublesome. I have recently just had a run in with one of my teachers at open access she absolutely criticised me and my work she said that I had handed it up late and that she shouldn't mark it even though there are 30 other students who haven't handed up their work. She also said that I had plagiarised parts of my work from yahoo answers but I can't remember ever using that website for information. Maybe i've got it wrong. She's made me self doubt myself and my work. All i feel now is depressed that I am worthless and what I do is never go enough. I am starting to question whether going to open access was the right choice? but my high school didn't seem to work for me and thats the only school close to me. I don't know what to do about myself at the moment and I'm not sure what direction I should be going in. 

If anyone could give me some advice. It would really help me. ​

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Jas,

Welcome to BeyondBlue and thanks for reaching out.

I'm sorry that you've been having such a rough time and it doesn't sound like your teachers have been very helpful or understanding.

I think that it would really help if you had somebody to talk to; because chronic fatigue is so tough and it's hard because not a lot of people really understand what you are going through.  Unlike other conditions chronic fatigue is invisible, so it can really help if you have a support team.  Sometimes this might be a psychologist/counsellor or even a group of friends that support you and don't judge you.

It might also help to get a bit of an advocate - it certainly doesn't sound very fair that your teacher is criticising you.  Does your teacher know about your condition?  Sometimes they can give 'allowances' - kind of like extensions because they get that sometimes you're not well.

The only other thing I can suggest about plagiarism is referencing everything - it's really easy to be accused of it but referencing is really the best standpoint to go off so that you know what you've used and when.  

In terms of where to go now - well that's up to you.  If you don't have any other schools maybe TAFE might be an option?  Often TAFE and schools have agreements so that you can still pass year 11/12 if you start doing some other study or community experience.

I know you feel a bit stuck but it won't last forever. Your diagnosis is not your identity.  

Hope this helps,

[JasKat2499]

Hi romatic_thi3f's thank you so much for your reply. It's nice to know there are people out there who understand what I am going through. I am wondering though If there are schools in adelaide who help students like me. All I have ever been looking for is a teacher who can understand my condition and can support me and help me strive for the best. I have had enough bad teachers in my life who haven't been able to give me what I need. 

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Jas,

Thanks for your comment and I'm glad it helped. 

I definately agree that there is a teacher out there that can help understand what's going on - it's just a matter of finding them.  If you have a school counsellor that might help be your 'advocate' or even another person in the school who you feel like you get along with.

Good luck finding them. You are never alone 🙂 

[Narniakid]

Hi JasKat2499, welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing with us.

I'm sorry to hear that your teachers and schooling have been causing you so much stress - teachers should be focusing on your strengths, as well as your weaknesses, and it sounds like they're being really harsh on you, which is disappointing considering they're supposed to be professionals.

Have you spoken to a professional psychologist or a school councillor? I definitely think you need someone to talk to regarding the negative thinking and the perfectionist habits. Ask your school about special provisions for anxiety and depression, particularly with exams and assignments. Usually you'll need a doctor's certificate for this, so it's best to see your GP for a professional diagnosis.

Crystal