Young people

‘Changing into another part of me’

replies: 4

Hello reader, I’ve come to ramble again about my mental health here and just wanted to vent out and see what might be an issue since I’ve got a psychologist appointment soon. ill start with the fact I’ve posted here before about the issue of me ‘chan... View more

Hello reader, I’ve come to ramble again about my mental health here and just wanted to vent out and see what might be an issue since I’ve got a psychologist appointment soon. ill start with the fact I’ve posted here before about the issue of me ‘changing to a different state’. This also may be due to psychosis, I’m not sure. I was only recently diagnosed this January. This happens at random or certain times such as after 9:30pm or when left alone (e.g by myself or not around friends or people I like) and what happens during this is I become completely number of most emotion except anger and narcissism is raised drastically. I’m above everyone else and deserve more, I don’t feel emotion or care, empathy is gone and sadness is non existent. I don’t feel until I switch back to my normal self. Currently im in this state, I seek knowledge of what my issue is and this is often what happens when I change. Everything is silent to me, my brain doesn’t think to me and all I hear is single thoughts instead of my usual racing mind and non silent self. I’m completely aware about myself and it’s other part. We share thought and memories, there’s no blanks in them or anything. Often when in my normal phase, I have my other part of me talking like a thought would come through, it’s like a thought except it’s not my usual thought if you know what I mean. Imagine you looked at a duck and wanted to feed it, another part of me says “No, end it’s pathetic life” or another example is when talking to people when I really care about what their saying, I ‘think’ “I don’t care about you, you don’t matter”. It’s kinda like an intrusive thought except I don’t feel worried about it at all since I can’t really feel it or im so used to it. i often behave silently and it’s very noticeable if I do switch. Most commonly is I tend to have no facial expression, I’m monotonous and my English is hightend in vocabulary. I also express a lot of rage and violence’s if provoked. I’ve been provoked in the past and have hurt people without thinking, but let’s not think about that it’s not too important. my finals point here is that I’m so confused to what on earth this is about, is it an ASD alter? Psychosis? DID? I’m not very sure and would like to hear what you think. If you want or can, perhaps you should read my other posts that I’ve made. I’m it sure if I know how you can find them but I’m a strange child with a little bit of everything Thanks for your replies and I’m out of characters.

Unsure of approach to socialising

replies: 3

Hi, I'm new to this forum, in need of some advice about the best way to approach talking about oneself. I have a get-together tomorrow and I'm worried already that I'll be the silent loser in the corner... I'm a bad storyteller and conversation-maker... View more

Hi, I'm new to this forum, in need of some advice about the best way to approach talking about oneself. I have a get-together tomorrow and I'm worried already that I'll be the silent loser in the corner... I'm a bad storyteller and conversation-maker. My mind just goes blank when I try to recall a story. I'm fine with the listening and asking questions bit, just suck at talking about myself. I just came back from a trip overseas so technically I should have heaps of stories. But, say today, I couldn't bring myself to talk about any of my journeys with a friend. He talked about himself, and the conversation flowed but then when it came to my turn, all I could muster was a few facts about what I had learnt about overseas and the general vibe I had felt about the place. Nothing more, as my mind was blank. I think I have trouble remembering specific facts like how many floors of flowers there were in a building. It's partly why I can't tell stories as I start a story then have to go back and correct the numbers and facts, and get worried that I'm losing the other person's patience. As well, I have a harsh inner critic that says "that's stupid and boring" whenever I think of something, although usually it is actually a stupid and boring idea I just thought up. Like "Oh I saw a mahjong auto-shuffling table" which would be really random to talk about and difficult for anyone to relate to. Perhaps it is my attitude in general - I usually have no patience for superficial things. I want to talk about stuff that is relevant to people, but it ends up being silence because my mind becomes blank. Could someone please tell me how to best approach this? Selfhelp videos keep telling me to be spontaneous, let my guard down etc. but that advice isn't working because it feels forced and I always feel like I don't have energy to spout anything that comes to mind and then try to make a story out of it. It just ends up in me spouting random facts and awkwardness ensuing. Is there a more fun and enjoyable approach?

Why is it so hard to find a job?

replies: 3

I graduated from High School in 2014 and did a few courses here and there like I did my Certificate IV in Community Services and Certificate III in Early Childhood Education and Care and really just trying to find something that I can relate my inter... View more

I graduated from High School in 2014 and did a few courses here and there like I did my Certificate IV in Community Services and Certificate III in Early Childhood Education and Care and really just trying to find something that I can relate my interest to and to get an idea of what it is that I'd want to do. I'm currently doing my Diploma in Community Services (Case Management) because I finally found an interest in the field. I did work as a Disability Support Worker that paid well for a year and they unfortunately terminated my employment because they wanted someone who can do more hours than I do, I tried arguing that it is also because I am a full-time student but it seemed like the admin person just had something to say which really pissed me off. I tried so hard looking for a job in the field, maybe something other than a support worker again, just want to try something different but why the hell is it so hard to look for a job? Out of the 60 jobs I applied for online, all I'm receiving are rejections because I'm not "experienced" enough. Well how can you expect someone to be "experienced" if you can't even give them an experience to do?

Dreading the days ahead

replies: 2

I’ve just finished high school and am taking a gap year this year. There was a time when I thought a gap year would be so enjoyable and filled with happy times but all I’m feeling now is boredom and self doubt. i feel like I’m not doing anything wort... View more

I’ve just finished high school and am taking a gap year this year. There was a time when I thought a gap year would be so enjoyable and filled with happy times but all I’m feeling now is boredom and self doubt. i feel like I’m not doing anything worthwhile and I’m wasting my time. I feel depressed and bored but at the same time I don’t want to do anything. I never have any energy or strength. i wake up and often feel dread at the thought of the day ahead. I feel so much pressure and obligation but without any good reason. I have a casual job which is a cause for great anxiety, I always feel as if I’m being criticised when I’m working. It feels like such a burden. I am feeling a lot of self doubt and frustration at not knowing what I want to do; not having any real plans. I wish I was more confident and positive and could actually enjoy my life. Currently I am filled with so much hate and sadness and self-loathing. There is nothing that excites me or that I am passionate about, I just feel empty and useless.

Experiencing severe anxiety at university and am in a rut; advice is appreciated!

replies: 3

I have had a very long running, precarious relationship with completing my university degree. In fact, at the age of 22, when most of my friends have graduated and are pursuing their careers, I find myself still in the first year of a degree that I a... View more

I have had a very long running, precarious relationship with completing my university degree. In fact, at the age of 22, when most of my friends have graduated and are pursuing their careers, I find myself still in the first year of a degree that I am unsure about. Some background: I have always really struggled with studying during highschool. Even though I have been described as highly intelligent by many of my peers and teachers, I have never seemed to be able to sit down and focus for long enough to get anything productive done, or with any kind of consistency. When it comes to knuckling down and organising myself to study, it appears that my mind becomes a mess! I will sit down to study and get distracted by a minor detail, and before I realise it, hours will have passed without me having completed anything productive. Despite this, I managed to graduate with good grades. I started a bachelor's degree in architecture, which I absolutely loved. However, in the second semester of university, when I was 19, my mother passed away due to cancer. This is when everything started to fall apart. It seemed to me that the very foundations of my life had collapsed. All of a sudden, it appeared that I was alone to navigate the world. Nothing made sense anymore; it was as if I'd woken up one day living in a different universe. A universe that was unsafe, unpredictable and dangerous. I deferred uni for a year, after which I entered an abusive relationship that left me emotionally damaged for years. It also fragmented my relationship with my family, who were severely against my boyfriend. After this relationship ended, I started experiencing severe bouts of depression and anxiety which have only started to subside recently, four years later. Although I tried to pursue my architecture course, the place was too much of a strong reminder of previous events and ultimately, I ended up dropping out. Last year, I started to pursue a law degree at a different university, but really struggled. My father had just left the country, leaving us to financially support ourselves. I had no parents left; emotionally, it hit me really hard. As a result I have failed many units over the years and have lost a lot of confidence. Whenever I sit down to study now, I am faced with severe anxiety and thoughts that I am an incompetent, useless failure. I am currently seeing a therapist, however would really appreciate advice from anyone who may have had similar experiences.

Why do I feel so empty?

replies: 2

I mean, my life is going fine. I'm in my last year of school, got some cool friends... but why do I feel so empty? I wake up in the morning and I'm still tired, I can't focus on more than one thing or I muck things up, just the thought of talking abo... View more

I mean, my life is going fine. I'm in my last year of school, got some cool friends... but why do I feel so empty? I wake up in the morning and I'm still tired, I can't focus on more than one thing or I muck things up, just the thought of talking about my problems to my mum makes me feel sick. I was brought up in the country and where I lived, to talk about your feelings was seen as a weakness, which is why I can't do it today. I lived there for 5 years so I suppose it's been moulded into my head hasn't it? I just don't know what to do... I've heard about this site but... I really don't see how it can help. But oh well.... I'll give this a go I guess.

Anxiety in cars

replies: 5

Hi there BB community forum, just checking in to see if anyone relates to vehicular driving anxiety. I will tell you about my experience with vehicles. Since I was probably about 6 years old I have had random fluctuations of panic when driving in a v... View more

Hi there BB community forum, just checking in to see if anyone relates to vehicular driving anxiety. I will tell you about my experience with vehicles. Since I was probably about 6 years old I have had random fluctuations of panic when driving in a vehicle. My heart will race and I will start to feel extremely dizzy. I cannot bare it. It happens when I feel trapped and have no other possible way out. My thoughts for example might be like this when traveling on the free way in mums car: "there's a car behind us, that means we have to keep going no matter what, what if I wanted to stop, I couldn't if I wanted to, we have to remain at this speed or accelerate, that our ONLY option at this point in time" then I will feel very dizzy and try to hold onto something. This dizziness will last for a few seconds but the anxiety might last for a few minutes. It is worse when sitting in the front seat so sometimes I will hop into the back seat to avoid it. Another example happened a few months ago where I was on the center bit of the tram with a full carriage. As it was moving my thoughts of entrapment had started and my heart rate increased so I got off and walked the rest of the way (2 blocks from my destination) rather than to endure a panic. If anyone has had a similar experience or feels this way too please tell me your experience and how do you try to deal with it? Thank you

What do I do

replies: 2

Hi, this is my first time writing on this so I’m not to sure how this works but here I go. My life has been spiraling out of control for about 2 years now, I’m now 18. My father died a week before my 17th birthday and I haven’t really spoken about it... View more

Hi, this is my first time writing on this so I’m not to sure how this works but here I go. My life has been spiraling out of control for about 2 years now, I’m now 18. My father died a week before my 17th birthday and I haven’t really spoken about it to anyone, I just feel like they don’t need to hear about it so I bury it inside me. I’ve always had a handfew of friends but when my dad died it’s like only 3 of them were really there for me but I’ve pushed them away, so I feel like I have no one. I have a girlfriend, but I had an incident where I was highly intoxicated and was taken advantage of that was about a year ago I still haven’t told her because I feel like I need her to support me, but I don’t think I can handle the guilt of not telling her what happened. ive always been an quiet person but when these two things have happened I just feel like apart of me is broken. I can’t remember the last time I was truely happy, i just put on a fake smile and pretend I’m alright but deep down I just don’t know what to do

I need help to grieve

replies: 2

Last November my baby brother passed away suddenly. He had been sick and sent home from the emergency room. Mum and dad were told he was a little blocked up and they gave him a nasal spray. A few short hours later he died at home in front of his twin... View more

Last November my baby brother passed away suddenly. He had been sick and sent home from the emergency room. Mum and dad were told he was a little blocked up and they gave him a nasal spray. A few short hours later he died at home in front of his twin sister. Mum and dad tried to revive him and the ambos and everyone did their best but weren't able to save him. This brought a whole new level of sadness and depression upon myself and my family. No one should ever go through this. Now I struggle everyday and my boyfriend has been great but I keep pushing him away and I just don't know how to let him in. He just sits on his computer game every day after work until he goes to sleep. I'm feeling more lonely everyday and I don't know how to cope. Sleeping is so difficult and going to work is difficult I just don't know how to life anymore. I feel trapped, I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I feel incredibly sad all the time. I'm afraid of losing everyone again. I don't know how to talk about how I feel and I just wish I could let my boyfriend into my head and how I'm feeling without pushing him away. I feel as though he's going to leave me because of how I am.

Metaphorical frying pan

replies: 5

Hi, I’m new. I graduated last year and I turn 18 in two weeks. I’m not going to uni until next year since I wasn’t up to snuff physically to get into the Air Force. I work everyday at the local grocery store, and I was bullied in high school. I only ... View more

Hi, I’m new. I graduated last year and I turn 18 in two weeks. I’m not going to uni until next year since I wasn’t up to snuff physically to get into the Air Force. I work everyday at the local grocery store, and I was bullied in high school. I only have one close friend and they are out of town. I’m lonely, I cut off all ties with everybody, and I’m supposed to be somebody by now. I feel like this is what it’s going to be like forever, and that terrifies me. I tried to date someone and I try to talk to people because I’m very out going, but I’m terrified because my last relationship and close friendships ended up being abusive. I don’t want to go to a dark place again, but I feel like my life is stagnant while everyone leaves me behind. I expected more for myself, not sitting alone every night. I don’t know where to go from here.. I’m tired of being sad and scared all the time. Is it normal to feel like this? What can I do to fix this and mature?

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

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All discussions

‘Changing into another part of me’

replies: 4

Unsure of approach to socialising

replies: 3

Why is it so hard to find a job?

replies: 3

Dreading the days ahead

replies: 2

Experiencing severe anxiety at university and am in a rut; advice is appreciated!

replies: 3

Why do I feel so empty?

replies: 2

Anxiety in cars

replies: 5

What do I do

replies: 2

I need help to grieve

replies: 2

Metaphorical frying pan

replies: 5

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

‘Changing into another part of me’ replies: 4

Unsure of approach to socialising replies: 3

Why is it so hard to find a job? replies: 3

Dreading the days ahead replies: 2

Experiencing severe anxiety at university and am in a rut; advice is appreciated! replies: 3

Why do I feel so empty? replies: 2

Anxiety in cars replies: 5

What do I do replies: 2

I need help to grieve replies: 2

Metaphorical frying pan replies: 5

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

‘Changing into another part of me’

replies: 4

Unsure of approach to socialising

replies: 3

Why is it so hard to find a job?

replies: 3

Dreading the days ahead

replies: 2

Experiencing severe anxiety at university and am in a rut; advice is appreciated!

replies: 3

Why do I feel so empty?

replies: 2

Anxiety in cars

replies: 5

What do I do

replies: 2

I need help to grieve

replies: 2

Metaphorical frying pan

replies: 5