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What do I do about my disturbed neighbour?
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Hi all!
Firstly, I'm sorry if my title sounds judgmental. We're all a bit disturbed from time to time. I have my share of mental issues too. But my next door neighbour, who lives in very close proximity, rants, yells and swears almost every night to his imagined guests. He's in his 60s, lives alone, and I don't know what to do about it. I care for his wellbeing but am afraid to approach him directly. The sudden outbursts are a bit scary, I live alone, and don't want to get him offside. He's calm and friendly when I see him in the daytime. I did report this to my real estate agent and she said there was nothing she could do, and suggested I call in the CAT team, which seems extreme!
What would you do?
Bette
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Hello Bette, can I ask you whether he drinks at night and that's why he begins.
Best wishes.
Geoff.
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Hi Bette E,
Wellcome to our forums!
You sound like a very caring lovely neighbour.
I understand this would be scary.
Do you know if the man has any family that visits him?
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Hello Bette,
I'm sorry I can't answer your question.
I can understand how your neighbour's behaviour is disturbing & how you are concerned for him as well. I've been through something kind of similar, & being told there was nothing I could do. If I was a relative, a guardian, or maybe if I was a long-term friend, it may have been possible to get some help, but as it was, no. Both occasions I'm thinking of it was our State's Gov housing - & they wouldn't intervene.It was awful, both situations.
If he does have any family visiting, if you could approach them, they may be able to talk to him, maybe get him the help he needs.
mmMekitty
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Hi Bette
My thoughts were alcohol abuse too. Personally I wouldn’t approach but call police if it’s excessive. They can attend and assess the situation and call ambulance if needed.
MC
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Hi Geoff,
You're right, it is triggered by alcohol use. I should have said that! Hence why I wouldn't approach him.
Hi mmMekitty and Petal22,
He has told me he has an adult daughter who is married with kids, but I've never seen him have a visitor.
I feel like calling the police is too over the top.. 😕
Bette
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Hi, welcome
Although not ex police I've had some law enforcement experience.
Swearing was deamed acceptable many years ago when police somewhere in Australia charged someone and the judge threw the case out as not in keeping with modern standards of how frequently swearing is exercised in public and on TV.
Loudness is an EPA Environment Protection Authority issue. I've had dealing with them on barking dog and noise (loud music) issues. But I've never attended a noisy remises for loud voices. I'd suggest because of that rarity you wouldn't have a case.
At the end of the day you can still call police with the intention of him lowering his voice and to be asked to stop swearing. The police are likely to do that in an attempt it could make him do it all under his breath or at least quelled. The only risk is he could pin point its you that complained and hold a grudge, not a nice outcome for a direct neighbour to be in.
The alternative is to purchase wireless headphones which are remarkable in their efficiency nowadays. I bought a pair for my mobile phone and can walk around the house with them on and as they fit well my wife has trouble getting my attention (thats another reason why I like them lol). I would recommend this option.
One final suggestion. During the day when you catch him say nearby, have a gentle chat with him and tell a white lie, that you had children over the night before and they heard you swearing. Say something like this-
"I hope you dont mind me mentioning something as you are a terrific neighbour. I had children over in the evening and they heard you swearing. I told the parents I'll have a nice word to my beaut neighbour about it".
The last 2 I'd carry out before the other police option.
TonyWK
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Maybe he's screaming at the TV, or unwell? He could also be responding to internal voices, ie have a form of psychosis.
If it was me, I might talk to other neighbours to see if they're affected.
I would call the catt team if it's very scary.
It's impossible to know as an outsider what is going on. I guess if he's nice during the day a concerned, warm question could shine some light on the situation.
Even if he's psychotic he should be able to calm himself etc...if not then he would be unwell and in need of medical attention. You wouldn't be the first person who has reported someone for such to the catt team.,..