Trouble Coping

[Catmum]

Hi, I just joined this forum. I'm having trouble coping, feel scared all the time. I'm having physical issues as well, hearing noises, breaking things as I've become super clumsy, getting confused and just start crying at any time. I can't even cook anything as I keep burning things, my husband now has to prepare all our food. Last night, or actually early hours of the morning (1.20 am) someone started knocking on our front door loudly. I didn't know if I was imagining it or not? I woke my husband up and he said he heard it, so I don't think I imagined it. I couldn't sleep after this as it unnerved me so much. We decided not to answer the door as it didn't seem safe to do so in this area where we live. Tried to do some exercise today and have a break from the house and went for a walk (keeping my distance of course). People pass me by and I say hello, and they don't even reply. I said "we can still say hello from a distance". But I guess when I look around people have empty faces now and don't want to even say hello. I don't actually mind that much being at home, as I spent a lot of time at home before and I have lots I can do. I just can't shake the fear. Now I'm worried about my elderly mum. She relies on me to visit her and get groceries for her. I need my husband to come with me as I can't drive through city traffic on my own with the way I'm feeling, shaking all the time and I can't think straight. Now the rules are its only one person who can visit I don't know what to do. She is so lonely and even though I'm suffering I try to help her, but now I feel like I can't as maybe this is risky for her and I don't want to break any new rules and I don't think I can travel there alone. I don't know what to do, I'm so full of indecision. I just have this feeling of impending doom all the time. I suffered severe depression in the past, but this is the first time I've felt distressed since then. I know we are all going through it, so please don't tell me that (I don't know why but this phrase irritates the hell out of me as we all experience things differently) but I guess I was an anxious person even before this so now my anxiety has gone sky high. My husband says he thinks I need some professional help with what I'm feeling.

[uncut_gems]

Catmum (great username!),

Welcome to the forums. I'm so sorry to hear that the chaos of the present moment is making your anxiety worse, but why wouldn't it! These are stressful times, and your concern for your elderly mother's wellbeing is touching and totally understandable. In addition to calling our elderly relatives to keep them from feeling lonely or scared, people all over Australia are stepping up to make sure that they also get the food that they need.

If you are comfortable using Facebook, you can search for a group called "Viral Kindness" followed by the state or city you live in. There are tons of young, healthy people volunteering. If you look around the page and like what you see, you can find someone in your area who will deliver groceries in a safe way to your mother. If not, there are many other informal groups popping up to do the same thing. I also believe Cole's and Woolie's are setting up delivery services for similar reasons.

I think your husband's suggestion sounds very sensible, if it's something you're not opposed to? In the coming days and weeks, as GPs and counselors get set up online, it should be easier to set up a remote appointment to discuss some of what's been troubling you and perhaps get a referral.

I know what you mean about feeling strange walking by people outside– I think people are still learning how to adjust our normal greetings, interactions, and behaviours with strangers to the new physical limits imposed on us.

Warmly,

Gems

[Soberlicious96]

Dear Catmum,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and well done for reaching out.

I like your username by the way; 'Catmum'! I am assuming it is because you have a cat, yeah? I have a pet cat and she is super affectionate and cuddly, and I gotta say, I do love the cuddles of my furry baby. They are helping a lot!

I too have an elderly parent whom I cannot see because of the current situation, and also my own health issues, but my sister lives close to him and sees him frequently, which is good. Do you think perhaps if you asked your husband to be the one to look after/go see your Mum that he could and would do that? Is that a possibility?

On the note of your husband, and his suggestion of professional help, perhaps it might be something to consider, yeah? I know that more and more doctors are doing over-the-phone consultations at the minute, so maybe you could book in with your doctor for a phone consultation and discuss your options. I know that a little while ago, over Christmas when all the fires were happening and I was really struggling, I went to see my doctor and she gave me a list of online support services I could access. It was such a great help. There's one app/site called 'Mood Gym' which is 'like an interactive self-help book which helps you to learn and practise skills which can help to prevent and manage symptoms of depression and anxiety'. Maybe you could give that one a try, yeah?

In the meantime, you can come back here as much as you like. Try to remember to keep your focus in the here and now; focus on what you can see, smell, hear, taste, and touch RIGHT NOW and leave all the rest to take care of itself. Life is only ever one day at a time anyway, so just do what you can when you can. And remember to ask your husband if he can, and "will please" step up to the role of taking care of your Mum.

Take care. Hope I helped at least a little bit? I'll be thinking of you. xo