Dear Aaliyah
Hello and welcome. Thank you for your courage in writing here. It's not easy to write about yourself when you are not feeling good. Please remember this is a safe place to express all your feelings. No one judges anyone here.
I believe we get so used to being anxious that we almost fail to recognise what it is. Your counselor should be able to help you with your feelings of anxiety. I expect we can give you all sorts of tips but this will not make it go away. Why are you anxious? Perhaps you don't know. I must admit it came as a surprise to me to realise I became anxious at times. By this I mean more concerned than is usual for the various situations I am in. I get anxious meeting new people because they may not like me. So I put on my 'best' face and smile and talk. It gets me through. Traveling on my own to a new place also scares me silly. One of the best presents I received two Christmas' ago was a GPS. It got even better when I learned to use it.
Actions like deep breathing and mindfulness need to be practiced constantly. It needs to be an automatic response when you encounter difficult moments. So periodically stop and take a couple breaths and feel how your body responds. Remind yourself this is how you want to feel when in a potentially stressful situation. Teaching yourself how to feel better when you are not anxious, or only mildly anxious, will help you to remember and respond in that way without having to consciously think about it. It's like learning to swim in a calm pool before trying to swim in the ocean.
Mindfulness is an action that is good to use all the time. Not just because you can become calmer but because it enhances your enjoyment of life so much and you look at the world in a different way. So if you practice mindfulness most of the time it will be easier at crunch time. I would also suggest meditation. Meditating at least once a day, preferably twice daily, will help you to develop a depth of spirit to your life. It helps you to draw on those inner resources we all have but cannot reach.
Good to hear from you and I hope you keep writing.
Mary
