New to the site

single_parent · ‎22-02-2017

Hi,

I found this site when looking for help with depression and anxiety. I have struggled with it on and off throughout my life. Thought I had it licked. But have again been struggling for 12 months so last week was back at the doctor and another referral to a psych. I have two kids and work part time as a high school teacher. I love my kids and hate my job. The job is killing me...I have to get out but I am so scared that I will have nothing to go on with. I don't even trust myself to make a decision at the moment because I'm feeling so empty. I just wish that somehow I could be normal, and cope with things normally.

MarkJT · ‎22-02-2017

single parent, welcome to the forums - it is great to have you here. You are now part of a very caring and supportive community.

Have you been back to the psych as yet? Have you been on meds before?

I am living with PTSD, depression and anxiety and went nearly two years without medication but have been on them for a couple of years now. They helped me get over the hump to live a pretty normal life now.

Maybe this is something you should discuss with your psych?

For the anxiety, I do a lot of mindfulness. If you have not heard of it before, I encourage you to research it and start doing it.

There is a great app called, "Smiling Mind" that i use quite regularly but i used to use it every day. My mindfulness skills have improved to a point where i don't need to be guided. I listen to music heaps which is the best grounding tool of all time.

With your job, I'd be interested to see how that goes after you have your psych visits and whether or not medication comes into play.

Again, well done for posting, it is great to have you here. Please ask any questions that you want to. Only to happy to assist you through this journey that you are on.

Mark.

BballJ · ‎22-02-2017

Hi single parent,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Sorry to hear about the depression and anxiety coming back, it's happens to a lot of us when we feel we have it under control. It's good that you are going back to the psych, did you have much luck with them in the past or did time just seem to get it under control?

Regarding the job, can you look for a job whilst keeping the high school teacher job in the meantime, just so you're not out of work and try to alleviate some of that stress of not having anything to go to? No job is worth being that stressed over.

My best for you,

Jay

Jugglin_Strugglin · ‎22-02-2017

Hello SP, I'm one too. I get it when you say about not making decisions when you are feeling so down. I think this is a wise move. Depression has a way of twisting your thinking. It may be better to leave major decisions until you feel more like yourself- if it's possible,that is.

Do you think that the job is causing you to feel down? Apologies if I get too personal. No need for reply if it is. But I was wondering, did you always feel this way about teaching. Did you enjoy it at first? What is it that you don't like? I guess there's heaps of politics involved, as well as the smart A**d kids and the bullies. It's just that so many people look up to teachers with respect. Most trusted profession, I've heard. The pay seems ok and the hours and holidays seem so good, especially as a single parent. I've often wished I'd done teaching. The grass is always greener, hey.

I know the empty feeling well. No laughter, no joy, just black and grey. It is good that you've seen your dr. A lot of people here have good response to medications, others don't like it. Either way, medical help is needed, as in psychologists and psychiatrists. Being pro-active is a must. It is good that you've been looking online. BB site has loads of helpful fact sheets and info. Plus the forums are a therapy in themselves. I hope they help you. Keep reading here and you will know you are not alone, and keep posting. It is wonderful to connect with others who truly understand. I hope you feel a bit better for doing so.

Best wishes Lee.

geoff · ‎23-02-2017

hello Single parent, people think that once they have overcome their depression and anxiety that it's gone, unfortunately it doesn't, it remains with us forever, sure we might be able to get on with our life without much trouble, go to work, enjoy your family as well as socialise, but when a small crack appears and we let our guard down then it's possible for us to have a relapse.
What worries me is whether you had stopped taking your medication or whether they need to be reviewed by your doctor, and I say this because you are at a crossroad and don't know which way to go, but please realise that this damn illness has the strength to do this to anyone who is struggling with depression, and people take this as being a failure, but you're not, all you have to do is to rebuild the strength that you have had before.
If this job is not what you want to do then you must try and find one that would suit you, and by doing this then that's the first step to beginning to feel better, I know money is important, but you can't work somewhere you don't want to. Geoff.