Hi Harley, welcome
thankyou for posting in this safe place. There is a few things that stick out to me that need chatting about. I do believe I can help if you follow my ideas.
Feeling alienated from your partner because he had what you don’t is understandable especially as a stay at home mum that on the surface is less important but in reality is just as important as any other profession. If your partner shows appreciation for your role there shouldn’t be an issue. If you harbour envy for his role that you see as superior then there is an issue which needs sorting out.
You could have some mental disorder that needs a diagnosis so start with your GP - that is essential. Some people, upon making amends with their partner, fail to go through with their doctor, that is an error.
I have an important thread I’d like you to read even if it is the first post only. It is a method of dealing with arguments that WILL WORK if you both commit to it.
Google
beyondblue topic relationship strife- the peace pipe
My wife and I have been using that system for many years with success.
When you can, spread your wings a little, seek out groups, clubs or a casual job. Your self esteem will grow.
Finally, telling a dad not to be with his children is like a red flag at a bull. In his mind he likely feels you are keeping them away from him. This is the major reason step parent relationships won’t work and I’ve been a step parent in two previous long term situations and had a partner as step parent to my kids. It is a delicate topic and one that needs for both adults to tread the fine line of empathy and encouragement to avoid hurt. I’m sorry if that upsets you but I do suggest not dividing him in any way from his children.
I hope I’ve helped. Repost anytime
TonyWK
