Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Chris_B · ‎01-07-2014

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves. I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician. I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

Sar76 · ‎08-09-2015

Hi Jai's mum

I'm so sorry for your loss. What you are going through must be indescribable. Depression is such a cruel isolating disease and coupled with your grief it must be really hard to deal with day to day. In your post you make reference to irregular psychologist visits and maybe you should consider a way to make it more regular as well as look into finding a support group. You are not alone and I hope you find the strength you need to take these steps you've mentioned as they will help you move in the right direction. Thinking of you.

Johnno1402 · ‎08-09-2015

Hi beyond blue,

my name is Brendan I have had a mental illness for 14 years I been mainly working through this on my own.

Last year I had a complete meltdown and I thought there was now way of getting though the dark places I put myself in. I have the most amazing family who I love and protect very much.

Some days are good and I feel on top of the world the others are filled with self doubt and mixed thoughts. I get good support from my GP and Psychiatrist and medication help too.

i hope I can stay apart of this chat room to get a feel of how other people deal with their own issues.

Sar76 · ‎08-09-2015

Hi. I'm new here and decided to join and post as tomorrow I'll be having my first ECT treatment. I suffered with severe depression and anxiety for the last 16 months and to be honest it's been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I had a pretty good job but overworked myself and ended up with insomnia, insides shaking, being overwhelmed and unable to control my emotions. I haven't been to work in the last 16 months and have been on numerous types of meds but I have treatment resistant depression and end up feeling like I have depression but with side effects on meds. I'm on a combo nos that I hope will help stabilize me during and after ECT. I'm a little scared but compared to how I've been living theses last few months think it's the way to go.

I comfort eat and the 25 plus kgs I've put on hasn't helped but I seem to be incapable of stopping. I feel really guilty about the impact my illness has had on my family as I have a very supportive husband and two kids that are aware of some of what's happening as our life has changed really dramatically. I'm hoping the ECT will help me out of this black hole and the constant feeling of overwhelming dread will ease so I can go back to being able to do just normal things ( at the moment even cleaning my kitchen freaks me out - just all feels like too much ). I have great docs and a supportive home family but I've pushed everybody else away...its amazing to see how many people suffer like this and yet how alone you feel when its happening.

So I plan on going online when I can and recording myexperience with ECT as just reading up on these forums has helped me today and maybe it can help someone else in future...

Whitebrow · ‎09-09-2015

Hi all,

Im feeling depressed about my relationship with my son. My marriage broke down about 6 years ago, my 3 children stayed with their mum. I kept seeing and spending time with my kids, the eldest 2 boys eventually moving out by themselves, leaving my youngest daughter with her mum.

My middle son took it hard and I believe he blames me for the breakup.

Last year my ex passed away, so my daughter came to live with me and my new partner and her daughter.

My son pretty much refuses to see me, although we do see each other occasionally.

Feeling pretty down and would like to talk to others who could help me through.

C_C · ‎09-09-2015

May i ask what happened to cause the marriage to end? You don't have to answer if you don't feel the need.

Also how old is your son? Maybe he just needs time. I've realised that I've come to understand things alot more clearer as I get older.

I think you just need to continue supporting him no matter what, always be there for him. Everybody deals with situations differently and while some may adapt quicker, others might take more time.

Just cherish the time you do spend with him and make the most of it. I have faith that he will come around eventually.

As hard as it is, try not to dwell on it. Good luck to you with it all 🙂

Hope you're ok.

MrsMoody · ‎09-09-2015

Moody & tired, Lonely in the outback. I feel as there is too much to say really, I'm needing a GP check up soon and get a ref to see someone. I have 2 cute little crazy boys ( that dont sleep well, and its my tiredness makes me down , a bad circle I'm always in) A helpful hubby that is also tired from the bad nights, but he can only hear so much from me , and I'm a full time mum & need to get some casual work soon if only for some adult interaction and mental health. If I can attach myself from little 2 year old, he drives me mad but I would miss him so much, the circle of guilt!! I've moved from the city last year to the other side of country , its hot , like 48deg summer hot, and I dont tan ! and nothing to do , well I've done it all already, one ugly shopping center and a few cafes , a sports compex ,and my husband & I dont fit in, as we are not beer drinking idoits that love sports. Hubby was doing FIFO last year and I had a mental breakdown before he left, then for the next 8 months he would be gone 3 weeks then back for a week, my family was unhelpful, with a alot of bad history & awarkdness amgonst the family, my step dad was agressive and I think my mother envied me, i dont know , I cant turn to them, if I'm down they almost enjoy as they seem annoyed when I'm happy and enjoying motherhood, or my marriage. Both my parents have depression and on tablets but never really helped them selves, never ate right never owned up to there mistakes never said sorry for all the pain & bullying, I guess as I'm typing this my parents are the pit of my issue right now, writting helps, I had a huge fight with my step dad before I left and it was over my baby napping when they were over, I wanted the TV off so he could nap loudly , he had an adult tantrum and I ended up calling my mother a push over as she didnt say a word or help, and the my step dad meanly beeping the horn on the way out , so to wake my son. My 2 older sisters that werent there were quick to side with them, and of course my half sister saying I've always been diffcult. Then my step father sent out a group email of all things saying he gives up on me, we have all spoken since no sorry has been said by anyone, my rea;l father drank himself to death, he didnt love me either. I'm trynig hard to be a good mum, but I think my mum resented me and so did my step father, it hurts that all my sisters have sided with them. Ijust wanted my baby to nap & my TV off. Is that crazy?

AvispaN · ‎09-09-2015

Hi all, AvispaN here. I was diagnosed with anxiety induced depression when I was 16, but have been suffering from "the cold shadow" (that's how my kid self used to explain it) for as long as I can remember. This eventually led to a case of personality disorder and delusions, for which I am now being treated. As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at recognising the signs and acting appropriately. I cried the first time I ever answered truthfully to the question "are you ok?", and feel that if I just keep trying, eventually I'll be able to slay this dragon! I hope to be able to use these forums to better understand and be inspired by the individual battles everyone quietly faces.

Ladyhawke · ‎10-09-2015

Hi. My name is Lisa. I don't know if this is the Introduction site but that's what I was aiming for. I have been under psychiatric care since 1995, although I had a history of anxiety and depression dating back to around the age of five. I sought professional help after being misdiagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Initial diagnosis was Bipolar disorder. Prescribed every class of antidepressant drug and mood stabilisers did little to alleviate symptoms. In 1997, i was advised to have ECT treatment: 6 unilateral and 8 bilateral sessions over a period of 3 week inpatient care. Treatment was unsuccessful and resulted in disturbing memory loss. I do, however, realise ECT can be very effective for some people. At the time, i was under the care of psychiatrist whose treatment was drug oriented and was not interested in talking as an adjunct to medication. I muddled along until 2001 when I was so fortunate to find a psychiatrist who was the perfect fit for me: medication and psychotherapy. Unfortunately, I had a major breakdown in 2006, but I was able to function adequately after a 3 month period due to the support of my doctor and a family member. My diagnosis was gradually changed to major depressive/anxiety disorder, ADD and later BPD. Life still challenges me every day and there are many periods when I cannot function at all, however my doctor is always supportive and I see him on a weekly basis. Until now I have resisted hospitalisation due to past experience, but I am now aware that a period of inpatient treatment, within the next few months, could be a viable option. I decided to sign up with BeyondBlue to feel part of a community of people who may have had similar experiences to my own. We are a unique community (i mean this as a positive expression) and have unique insights and ways of dealing with life - something that the 'general' community often doesn't share. I'm very open to sharing my own experiences if it can help/support others; i also look forward to hearing from others if there is something they can share to assist me. That's my Introduction - i really hope i've typed this in the correct section. Lisa

Ladyhawke · ‎10-09-2015

Hi Unicorncass, i just signed up with BB today so I am a "newbie" too. I have a long history of feeling bad, going back to the age of 5 or 6. I continued feeling depressed, anxious and very angry until my late 20s when I became aware that it might not be "normal" to feel so bad for so long. I realized that I needed help but I was too ashamed and embarrassed to say to someone, "I need help". I also didn't want people - family and friends - to think I was weak and "different". I muddled through life, self-medicating and taking part in activities i really didn't want to as a way of distracting myself that I had a problem. At the age of 34, i began to unravel until I had a meltdown at the age of 35. I couldn't stand my life anymore - I had known for years I had a problem but I was unable to accept it - and finally I was tired of pretending and surrendered. I accepted the fact i was ill and had been so for a long time and that I would have to ask for help. I spoke to my GP who referred me to a psychiatrist. At first, i didn't tell anyone - i felt weak and ashamed that i needed the help of a psychiatrist but after about six months, i saw that the therapy helped me and slowly i let people around me know. Some embraced my story, others rejected it but I didn't care; medication and talking to someone changed my life enormously. I've been where you are, and I really believe you should have an honest talk with a GP - and tell him/her you need help. I wasted so many years worrying what other people would think of me. I regret not acting sooner. Don't do what i did; the sooner you speak to someone, the sooner you will feel less bad. I hope my experience has helped you take that first step. If you want to contact me, i'm sure there is a way to do so on this site; as i said, i'm a "newbie" here too and i'm still unfamiliar with the various sections. I really do wish you the very best.

kanga_brumby · ‎10-09-2015

Ladyhawke welcome to bb the eclectic bunch of fiterinners. We all fit into our own bunch. All needing help and giving help to each other through life. With out being judged.