Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Chris_B · ‎01-07-2014

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves. I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician. I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

thisaquarian · ‎06-07-2015

Hi to everyone 🙂 I have been here before but have been a bit of a lurker in the past. Thanks to everyone who shares their personal stories and journeys.

Well I am here because I think that I need to find a different way to cope with things. I have an anxiety/PTSD and have suffered with depression in the past... I work in a very stressful role in mental health and at the moment everything has just become too much.

Does anyone else feel like their bucket is just too full? At the moment the bucket for me is overflowing and I feel that I have no control.

Part of my stress comes from work, then my relationship, then my weight/eating issues...

So I have linked in with my work EAP, and had a session with a social worker over the phone this morning, which I found very helpful. I have an appointment with my GP later today, and I am going to go for a walk this afternoon with my partner.

About me: I'm 34, an employment consultant working in mental health, I'm engaged to my partner of 1and a bit years... we have two cute kitties named Tiggs and Babs (who are currently sunbaking themselves beside me on the lounge room floor). I'm a proud Aunty - I have a niece, and a nephew so far... and there's one more coming - the gender is kept a secret! I love travel, pretty teacups, mastercheffing something in the kitchen... and even though I have failed in the past as a gardener, I am going to give it another go and plant a herb garden!

Jai_apos_s_Mum · ‎06-07-2015

Hi, I'm new here. I lost my 16 year old son to suicide in 2013, I was the one to find him and have been diagnosed with PTSD and clinical depression since his death. Jai was bipolar so I've been dealing with mental health for quite a while but it's different when it's your own. I've struggled every day since his death, I have flash backs and night mares as well as many other issues and i have absolutely no support system that I can rely on so I've been going it alone for such a long time now and I'm so exhausted! I was put on medication just after Jai's death for the PTSD mainly but also for the depression but it made me feel so numb that I never really grieved my son's death and so I weaned off the medication. I think I should have stayed on it to be honest! I see a psychologist irregularly and am in the process of seeking out support groups, I figure that I need to create my own support system to keep my head above water. My husband is battling his own demons so to speak and so I feel very isolated within my own family unit also. Some days I feel like I'm the one who carries it all on their shoulders while everyone else just takes advantage, I'm not sure if that's the depression on common sense though!

pipsy · ‎06-07-2015

Dear Jai's Mum. How dreadful for you with losing your son so tragically, and so young. Please accept my deepest condolences. With the nightmares and flashbacks, that actually is a grieving process too. The depression you're experiencing is also very much part of the grieving. There is no rule or regulation about grieving, everyone is different. maybe a suicide support group would help you say 'goodbye'. I think you should see your Dr/counsellor and maybe start the meds again. It doesn't have to be 'long term', although, again, everyone is different. No doubt you feel angry/hurt/bewildered, guilt because of the other emotions. Also mixed up in that lot is the very real pain of not being there when he needed you. That also makes you angry, the feeling of failure. You possibly wouldn't have been able to stop him, but that doesn't help now. The feeling that everyone 'takes advantage' is possibly because of the grief. I think you need to be honest about how you're feeling and seek support from the groups I mentioned. BB and lifeline have good support systems.

You're not alone, you never are. Your husband needs help too, but until you're able to work through your grief, you can't be there for him. The support groups I mentioned will help him too, when he's ready. Men handle grief differently to women. Because they're taught 'men don't cry', they often don't know how to grieve.

Pixie15 · ‎06-07-2015

Hi It-miles,

Saw your post here and remembered another thread that you might be interested in. It is in Young People - "Regaining Control of my life" by Ampersand.

cheers,

Pixie.

Pixie15 · ‎06-07-2015

Hi Jai's Mum,

Welcome to the bb forums. I am sorry to read your story. I have been participating here for a couple of years now and have found it helpful for myself. I hope you find it supportive.

thanks,

Pixie.

Beatrix · ‎07-07-2015

Hi,

I'm not sure if I'm doing this right or replying to someone else's thread so if it's the latter, I'm sorry! I'm just here to introduce myself.

I'm in my mid thirties and have a Mum who has depression and schizophrenia. My brother has been diagnosed with the same but he takes care of himself well and is nowhere near as sick as she is.

Most of the time I cope alright - my brother is one of my best friends, actually - but sometimes I just need some extra support and my counsellor isn't always available. Plus it would be really nice to hear from others who also support someone with depression and schizophrenia, especially at those moments when I feel like I have given all that I can and it's still not enough, or when I run out of patience and feel guilty about it.

So that's why I'm here.

thisaquarian · ‎07-07-2015

Hi Jai's mum. A friend of the family lost her son to suicide 10 years ago, and it was an awful time. You've come to the right place for support. I'm so sorry for your loss. Try to remind your husband and other family members around you that you're still grieving and that you need support too. You seem like a caring sort of person who holds everything together... it can become natural to do more than required for those you love - but then they become accustomed to it, and think it's the norm. I've just been through this in my relationship. Wishing you strength, to be kind to yourself first. 🙂

Hi Beatrix, I don't know if I'm doing it right either - it says in reply to your post... but so long as it goes after yours, I don't mind how it really goes! Welcome... I have been on BB for a while but never used it and last year did a bit of lurking. Since yesterday I have been doing more posting and replying and I find this a very supportive place. 🙂 Don't forget that although your mum and brother are going through some things mentally, it's important to look after your own mental health as well. It's natural to run out of patience, not know what to say or do and feel guilty when you are supporting someone struggling with a mental illness. My work just paid for me to do a Mental Health First Aid Course, which gave me some really good skills and more understanding of mental illness. I suffer from anxiety and PTSD so it also gave me some good self-care tips as well. I'm not sure if you are working/can afford it etc - but it's worth a look. Search: Mental Health First Aid. 🙂

Mehico · ‎07-07-2015

Hi I'm a 30yo girl named YUKA! I have a great interest on Art, Music, Party and cooking. I'm originally from Tokyo Japan, while living in Australia for these 4 years.My favorite artist is Frida Kahlo,Gustav Klimt, Alfons Maria Mucha....etc. Also interested in old Japanese style art called UKIYOE, and street are as well!

thisaquarian · ‎09-07-2015

Welcome to BB forums, Yuka 🙂 I just googled UKIYOE - very cool. I love it 🙂 Have you been to Melbourne? Awesome street art there! Just google street art Melbourne - some really awesome artists there! 🙂

Chris_B · ‎09-07-2015

Hi Miles, welcome to the forums. It's awesome that your brothers see you and treat you for who you really are. Even in this day and age, it's still a tricky thing for parents to get their heads around, but give them time. Maybe refer them to this beyondblue resource, Families Like Mine.

We have a Sexuality and Gender Identity forum with stories from young people like yourself, but unfortunately it isn't very active. I can highly recommend the Minus 18 forum which is specifically for young LGBT people.

As a gay man myself, I know what it's like to have that feeling of disappointing your parents, but you can't change who you are and it's so good to hear that you're well on the way of accepting and embracing your identity as male.