Introducing myself

[Alternativealien89]

Hi everyone,

Im new to online forums but thought id introduce myself and share a little.

Im 28 years old, have a 3 year old daughter, partner & have been suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder for several years. Ive struggled with addiction & bulimia also. I feel my illness getting stronger and having more control over me lately =(

Finding it hard to have ANY control over my emotions or thoughts. I feel lile ive been locked in a cage with this beast and I cant get out.

my family have little to no understanding of BPD so I feel extremely alone most of the time.

Hoping to meet some people who understand so I know im not alone in this dark world.

thanks for reading 😃

Xo

[james1]

Hello alternativealien,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for posting your message here.

I'm 25 and I've been through different BPD therapies so I have an idea of what it's like for you. It's super hard. Last year when I was at the worst stage, I listened to the song "Demons" by Imagine Dragons a lot. It has some lines that go:

"When you feel my heat, Look into my eyes, It's where my demons hide, It's where my demons hide/

Don't get too close, It's dark inside, It's where my demons hide, It's where my demons hide."

What you said about being locked in a cage with the beast you can't get away from...that brings back memories.

I just thought I'd post to let you know you're not alone. We can see you're struggling to keep this beast contained and you sound pretty exhausted. Have you got any doctors you're seeing at the moment? I'm still seeing mine once-twice a week.

James

[geoff]

hello Alternativealien, thanks so much for coming to the site, it's always a brave decision, but sometimes it maybe their last resort to communicate with other people who have struggled with depression what ever type it maybe.
BPD involves several different symptoms, emotional instability, insecurity, worthlessness plus many other factors, so it can affect not only yourself but also other people you love, but you can't blame yourself, just as no one else can do, it's only such a shame that this illness has the power it has to try and destroy our lives.
If anybody knows that you have an addiction & bulimia then common sense would indicate that you are fighting some MI, whether your addiction is alcohol, prescribed drugs or whatever else it maybe, obviously means you are struggling, and that's never good, because sometimes you get stuck in a hole which you can't get out of, and I'm sure we all know about this I certainly do.
I just want to let you know that we hear everything you are saying, so I hope that this will then give you the confidence to come back to us, because I'm interested in your addiction, and this also means everything else you have told us, means all we want to do is help you so it will be great to hear back from you. Geoff.