Hi I'm new

[Gizz_36]

Feeling stressed out just went to the doctor and she said Iam going through depression I also have no self esteem I don't have many friends the friends I had were nasty backstabbers or the thought they were better than me so I hope I can make some new friends here and start to enjoy my life and I live alone I feel so alone you know I feel horrible but people say man up but sometimes life is overwhelming thanks for listening

[White_Rose]

Dear Gizz

Hello and welcome to the forum. This is a good place to talk to others about depression and how to manage. Although we all have different stories we do know how painful life can be at times. I am sorry you feel you have no friends. We all need friends to help us through the rough times.

It's good you went to see your doctor as this is a great first step. Did the doctor refer you for any therapy or counselling? Having someone to listen to you without judgement is so beneficial. Living alone can be hard. I live on my own and although I generally enjoy it there are times when I need the company of others. I have various activities that I enjoy. It's good for me to get involved in one of these when I start to feel miserable.

It's easy for others to tell you to 'man up' but it certainly is not easy to do and neither is it the answer. If we could get well by our own efforts and not involve anyone else I think we would have done so by now. Life can be overwhelming and this is where we need someone to offer a shoulder. Posting on this forum is not quite the same as it is not face to face, but it can be the helping hand you need at times.

May I ask if you have any hobbies etc? I wonder what you do when you are on your own. The people who post here often have a variety of interests and it can help at those times when we feel overwhelmed. Can you tell us a little more about yourself?

I hope you will continue to post here.

Mary

[Gizz_36]

Hi Mary that's my sister and aunty and cousins name aswell yeh I work as a welder I like to draw but my job lately feels overwhelming and tired but the money's good I'm 36 yrs old single obviously had some gambling issues and hope to get through the dark times

[Gizz_36]

Ps sorry about my grammer

[White_Rose]

Hello Gizz

Mary is certainly a popular name. It's nice to feel a connection.

No need to worry about grammar etc. So long as we can understand what you are saying it's OK.

I used to paint and draw and found it very satisfying. There is a connection inside ourselves when we tap into the creative side of ourselves. It helps the whole body and mind to work together more harmoniously and gives an extra dimension to our lives which can be missing when we only look at work. Music is the same and can help us to simply 'be' without the urgency to 'do'.

If you are not too tired may I suggest you get out your drawing tools and spend some time letting your creative person take over.

I am sorry to learn you have had some gambling issues. Have you been able to ask for help in this area?

Getting through the dark times is a great goal. When everything was at its worst I would tell myself to look at that day only and get through it. Sometimes that was too long a period and I would concentrate on getting through the next hour or even half hour. Setting small goals and achieving them is very satisfying and shows that you can move forward even though progress is slow.

Mary

[Gizz_36]

Thanks mary I will try and do some drawings and thank you

[White_Rose]

Hello Gizz

Dropping by to ask how you are going. Hope all is well or at least as well as possible.

Mary

[Gizz_36]

Hi Mary went and saw the doctor. I see one doctor then I had to see another doctor and then another. kind of annoying but gotta learn to be patient, yeh I gotta learn to think positive which can be tough sometime. woke up this morning feeling negative. I might just need to eat something and do something like go out better not hang around the house or I'll start feeling negative. how r u going

[White_Rose]

Hello Gizz

Making the rounds of doctors can be frustrating. Is there something serious amiss? No need to answer if you don't want to.

I know people used to say to me you must think positively as though it was easy. Not at all. What I have found to be easier is to make a list of activities I enjoyed or at least used to enjoy. When one of these black moods smothered me I would go to my list hanging on the fridge door and get involved in doing it. I think it takes less effort than making yourself look for positivity. It also helps to know you have accomplished something however slight. Nothing like a bit of success to make us feel better.

I would not call myself a gardener but I could get stuck into the weeds and rip them out with great pleasure. I'm sure you get the analogy. It certainly made me feel better. Doing something outside has another benefit. It's good to get into the sunshine though not on those very hot days and not without a hat.

Patience is not my best feature. It's been a long battle learning to wait for something and not usually a pleasant process. (sigh). When you are this sort of place it really is helpful to do something physical. No TV, books, computer etc. I've known people simply walk round their garden lots of times often because leaving the house was too hard. All these things come together and help.

I am OK. Thanks for asking.

Mary

[Gizz_36]

Hi Mary I usually hate going outside of my house I don't really get along with my neighbours.they were having a lot of party's and it went on for a couple of years and I didn't want to be the party pooper.so I kept quiet and hopefully one of the other neighbours would get mad about it first or the party neighbours would move. But it never happened.i could have gone over and had a good time with them but I didn't know them they could have been hostile.ive learned alcohol can be very dangerous and if something went bad then I would have to live next door to them which might be even worse but I'm selling my house now I'll miss this house but I've lived in this house for 10 yrs so I've made my money and by the way my neighbours never came and told me about having their partys not once so if they spoke to me about it maybe I would have been more comfortable about it.i don't know what happening in front of my house my car could get smashed up or my windows smashed and don't forget gatecrashers aswell thanks for the reply